Mutants

What was Michael Ironside thinking being in this pile of dog crud? It's beyond bad. It is painfully boring and not in the slightest bit entertaining. It's like a poor TV film with make up that looks like it was applied by a child ....so cheap.

Mutants!? Just a handful of extras with naff bubbles on arm and race to supposedly signify I texted. And they are hardly in it. About 5 mins of terrible extras running around with badly overdubbed stock sounds of people screaming. It's truly one of the worst films I have endured in years. Had to keep skipping forward just hoping something would happen.

Ironside must have been blackmailed to be in this..........he also walks around with old man pants on trying to look hard but appears to have crapped his pants. Well looked that way.

I wish I could score it lower.

Also it's a classic case of cover art being absolutely nothing going like the film. There should be a law against misleading trash like that.

AVOID. TRUST ME. I wish I had been warned. Luckily it was extremely cheap and bought off eBay mistakenly as believed it was another film with same name. Not even giving it away. Put straight in bin so no one else is stained with its pointlessness.

First of all I'm gonna use the only other member who thought it would be an act of mercy to review this movie, because his premise is good.I say act of mercy, because this movie is pure rubbish. It seems like a reject that not even the Sci-Fi would be dumb enough to run.

"The greedy Braylon (Richard Zeringue) owns the Just Rite Sugar Company and has hired the unethical scientist Sergei (Armando Leduc) to conduct an experiment to make an addictive sugar stronger than heroin or nicotine to increase his sales. Sergei uses invisible people as test subjects, like beggars, addicted junkies and illegals, in the clandestine Shadow Rock Mill. When Braylon's men mistakenly kidnap Ryan (Derrick Denicola), who is the brother of his secretary Erin (Sharon Landry) and son of his security chief Griff (Louis Herthum), and Hannah (Jessica Heap), the youngster becomes an important non-contaminated subject. However, Erin receives some mysterious e-mails from the unknown Cinderella with a picture of Ryan and a hint that he might be in Shadow Rock and together with her father, they decide to seek out Ryan."

Now that you know the premise, let me tell you why I chose to purchase this movie. This is a quote right from the cover." The French does zombies? Hey, Why not? The Irish did zombies and so did the Scottish, so now it's the Frenchs' turn. Word to the wise. There are no Zombies in this movie. It's just as the above premise reads. It's that boring. I will however add that once again some douchbag director has decided to completely waste the talent of Micheal Ironside. He plays a tough guy soldier and does kick ass, but common; his dialog is more suited for Van Damme. Anyway the movie is completely haneous even for a Sci- Fi entry and for some oddball reason it even stars Stevan Bauer. Yeah...that's Manny from Scarface.

Do yourself a favor and pick the toe jam out of your toes before watching this flick.

Rating Breakdown: Story - 1.00 :: Direction - 0.75 :: Pacing - 0.50 :: Performances - 0.75 :: Entertainment - 0.75 TOTAL - 3.75/10

You know that feeling when you order a burger, expecting a juicy, mouth-watering masterpiece, only to find a lukewarm, sad-looking slab of grey meat? That, my friends, is precisely what watching Mutants feels like. It takes a deliciously devious concept, corporate greed meets chemical catastrophe, and turns it into something as thrilling as watching paint dry.

The premise sounds delightful: a food manufacturer, desperate for profit, commissions a scientist to create an addictive additive. The unintended side effect? Overindulgence turns consumers into flesh-ripping, brain-melting mutants. Or at least, that's what should have happened. Instead, we get a sluggish trudge through mediocrity, occasionally stumbling into something vaguely resembling horror.

Budget constraints, you say? That still does not explain why the mutants shuffle about like zombies who have just heard their apocalypse shift was extended indefinitely. Expecting Aliens meets 28 Days Later? Think again. I have seen scarier things lurking in my fridge.

And, the directorial pace is slower than the mutants. A five-year-old with a VHS camcorder might have crafted something with more energy. Tension is a distant dream, and at times, I wondered if the film was a secret cure for insomnia. Even Michael Ironside, that beacon of grizzled authority, is wasted in a glorified cameo. The same goes for Steven Bauer, briefly reminding us that talent is present but entirely squandered.

What truly stings is the wasted potential. This could have been an energetic, tongue-in-cheek gore fest in the vein of Tremors or Re-Animator. Instead, it feels like an endurance test, where the only reward is the relief of the credits rolling.

Should you watch it? Only if you enjoy mild resentment as you imagine all the better films that could have been. If you seek mutant mayhem done right, revisit The Thing or The Stuff. But if you want actual entertainment, avoid Mutants like an expired gas station sandwich. It is unappetising, unfulfilling, and best left undiscovered.

While investigating her brother's disappearance, a woman and her father find that the sugar company they both work for is developing a new strain that will increase the normal addictive qualities but turns it's victims into rage-filled zombies and race to stop them before he becomes a new test subject.

One of the most paltry, pathetic zombie movies ever devised, mostly due to the fact that the strain of calling these creatures zombies is so strong that it's almost an insult to the rest of the genre. These are the infected '28 Days Later' style zombies, so that automatically earns derision for the sheer inclusion of it but also because the zombies are literally in the film for twenty minutes, with the rest of the film taken up in flashback about how we've come to where we are. It's stupid, lame and doesn't have anything worthwhile going on, barely qualifying as a horror film even during these segments, forget about delivering anything of substance or entertainment value. This one was just plain terrible.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and drug use

The title Mutants was a questionable one to begin with, but as I do like zombie movies when they're good I went ahead anyway. Now I wish I hadn't. For one thing, I was actually waiting all the time for a zombie to show up and to no avail, very like having Fred Flintstone but without the Yabba-Dabba-Doo. If these creatures in Mutants were trying to pass off as zombies they failed abysmally on that front, while not as badly designed as the zombies in a film like Vampegeddon they still look really laughable. And they don't have any menace or intrigue to them whatsoever. And I am angry also at how Mutants wasted its cast. Michael Ironside and Steven Bauer are good actors but, aside from Ironside having the best moment, are saddled with material so poor that they can't do anything with it. Louis Herthum looks as though he's got tears in his eyes, and who can blame him really. The characters they have to play are not only stereotypical, but also get on your nerves and you learn nothing about them, while the dialogue is nothing but cheese and awkwardness. The story has no suspense or any sense of horror, it is very thin and predictable in construction and in the end it feels like there is nothing to it. Mutants even is poorly made, the photography and editing were so choppy and the creature effects as mentioned were laughable. All in all, an awful movie that you actually question the point of it all. 1/10 Bethany Cox