Blue Valentine

Blue Valentine is one of the most depressing and well done films I've ever seen.

It is one that I will recommend that everyone see. Not because I want them to be sad or because I think they could learn anything new but because I think everyone should want to see the best of everything and this film is the best of its genre that I have ever seen. The acting is perfect. The metaphors are delicious and the hidden signs are just waiting to be uncovered.

Another great thing about this movie is that it is interesting to get different perspectives from your friends as to what they think happened in the movie and to whose side they are on. It is unlikely that they will have trouble connecting to or relating to the characters in Blue Valentine no matter if they have ever been married or had kids before.

Don't expect this to be a date movie or a nice happy rom-com. It is pretty much the anti-thesis of a date movie.

Greetings again from the darkness. OK, so I was extremely surprised to be the only male in a theater with 30 plus viewers. I had not once previously thought of this as a chick flick. In fact, it is quite a weighty relationship expose' and that explains the lack of present men. What is surprising is that while the film is about the ever-so-slow crumbling of a marriage, there is no blame placed at the feet of any one person, as is so often the case in Hollywood.

You might have already guessed that this is no upbeat, loosie-goosie rom-com. Rather, it is a bleak look at a marriage that starts with good intentions and fades into misery. On the plus, we witness an acting clinic by two of today's absolute best ... Ryan Gosling as Dean and Michelle Williams as Cindy. Dean is quite the oddball romantic as he strums his ukulele and quivers "You Always Hurt the Ones You Love" in a bit of foreshadowing. Cindy, on the other hand, is a bit more ambitious and has dreams of medical school.

The two meet by happenstance in the hallway of a nursing home when Cindy is visiting her grandmother. Immediately, there are sparks and after Cindy's macho boyfriend proves his true rotten self to her, she becomes more enamored with Dean. When an unexpected pregnancy occurs, Dean is pretty quick to stand up for Cindy and they set off to build a life together.

Flash forward 6 years and Dean has changed very little, while Cindy just seems totally beaten down. They both cherish their precious daughter Frankie (played by newcomer Faith Wladyka) but their relationship is nowhere, gone, kaput. Even an attempted one-night getaway to a themed hotel doesn't provide the relief they need. Instead, it's the final straw. When Cindy repeats "I'm done" ... we don't doubt her at all.

Director and co-writer Derek Cianfrance does a tremendous job with the details and creating the personalities of these two people. Every relationship requires work and failure can be predicted when one gives up and the other pretends all is fine. This one probably won't save any marriages, but it is worth seeing just to watch Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams in action.

Love is not only a product that always turns out great. Love is also not a energy that always lives forever. Even with the greatest memories, one doesn't necessarily hold on a love pattern with another person for his or her entire life. I was happy that Blue Valentine showed that side of love. Love can be filled with hatred. Love can express jealousy. It's a strong feeling, so why wouldn't it arise other strong emotions?

Blue Valentine represents realisticly a failing relationship. From the over-the-shoulder perspective, the depth of field mainly focusing on character and the exceptionnal acting by Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling, it felt like you couldn't stand being in that relationship. It was so real.

Also, kudos to the soundtrack.

Director Derek Cianfrance may wish to stop wasting his talent on TV and make films his full time occupation. Cinema could use him. His 'Blue Valentine' studies the breakdown of a marriage through beautiful and heartbreaking juxtaposed scenes of past joy and optimism with present scenes of misery and depression. Flitting back and forth in the marriage, it asks: Is romantic love the ultimate form of masochism?

Fine young actors Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams play Dean and Cindy, who unite through a dogged courtship. Dean is easy-going, happy-go-lucky and content in his removal and packing company. He is chary of formal education, but has a philosopher's outlook. Cindy is sexually over-active and, although occasionally frolicsome, is more mature than Dean. About five years on, romance becomes repulsion, and their marriage becomes one of inconvenience.

Make no mistake, this is uncomfortable viewing – not the sex, which serves the story quite well – but the paranoia, pettiness and pugnacity in the couple's interaction. They reach their nadir when he practically begs for affection, and she pleads with him to be more ambitious.

No two actors have complemented each other this well for some time. In an age where vapid acting is vogue, Gosling is a novelty. He is very charming, yet he has a mournful countenance, and possesses a James Dean-like vulnerability. He'd be my poster-on-the-wall if I were 13.

I can't get that entrancing scene where Dean serenades Cindy out of my head. Dean's philosophical outpourings may be interpreted by some as drivel, but more sensitive viewers will detect the shattering honesty. A memorable maxim: 'Girls spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then marry the guy who's got a good job and is gunna stick around.'

We go to the movies – many of us – to escape real life. Comfortable as voyeurs, we let our favourite stars distract us and we forget our worries. But 'Blue Valentine' shows a truth no cinema can shield us from. It mustn't be missed.

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No matter what else is yet to be released, you will not see two better performances this year than Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.

It's almost impossible to imagine anyone in anything coming close. In the defensive, aggressive way he turns every line of dialogue around on the speaker as a hidden affront to his insecurities, Gosling reminded me of no less than De Niro in Raging Bull as the older Dean. Playing the younger version, he channels the charm, romanticism, and recklessness of a 1960s Paul Newman.

Williams, who has emerged as the best American actress 30 and under, pulls off a performance that recalls Gena Rowlands' work with Cassavettes. Which is not to say either is an imitation, they aren't "doing method" or aping the authenticity of previous greats. They're 100% the real deal, so good you can only compare them to the best, and they fully embody these characters in every frame. They made me believe, they made me care, they broke my heart.

The story is a familiar one because it's the most common source of drama in life and art but avoids cliché and instead handles the subject with uncommon insight and grace. The lack of context scene-to-scene keeps the audience engaged and on their feet, filling in the intentional holes with their own experience and lending the film a universal relatability. In good times and bad, we can recognize our own triumphs and failures in love. It captures the joyous highs and devastating lows of relationships better than anything I can recall. Gosling singing while Williams tap dances, what she reveals to Gosling on the bridge and how he reacts, the scene in the doctor's office towards the end... they achieve that sense of cinematic transcendence so rare these days. They simply don't craft scenes like this or give actors roles this fully realized in Hollywood anymore.

It's clear this was a labor of love for all involved and it paid off in spades. This is the best American film I've seen this year.