Troll

So in movies like this, I don't expect the Godfather.... but I do expect something. I can accept the premise that trolls have been sleeping underground etc etc. But it is so dumb. You literally have people staring at the troll, you have a person say hey that looks like a troll, then 8 people in the movie go you're crazy, that's not a troll. So what is it? Let's discuss what the troll in front of us is? Does anyone know what kinda troll that troll thing might be. But don't call it a troll. It's like how in every zombie movies the people in the movie live in an alternate reality where they've never heard of zombies before.

Oh we're facing a 100 foot tall giant made of rock... let's attack the obviously armored creature with 5.56 Nato rounds.... that'll do the trick. Oh he destroyed all of us.... oh... I have ammo left and the creature has calmed down... let me shoot at it again! Ooops I'm dead.

Warning: you will not - repeat, WILL NOT - read a very honest and objective review here. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with tales originating from Scandinavian folklore, fairy-tales, and historic sagas, and it's literally since decades that I've been waiting for a film like "Troll". Well, I've been waiting for slightly more than just one decade, more specifically since the release of that other massively entertaining (and even better) "Troll Hunter".

This is the stuff we watch films for, is it not? An ancient and humongous creature, looking & sounding exactly like you have always imagined it from stories and drawings in children's books, exploding - literally - out of a picturesque mountain landscape and promptly pursuing its way to the capital of Oslo (Godzilla-style) and destroying everything on its path! Awoken due to mankind's inability to leave Mother Nature intact and at peace. Artillery cannot harm it. Tanks cannot slow it down. Army helicopters are plucked out of the sky as if they were toys. And, still, the only paleontologist who comes with effective alternative solutions to save the nation gets overruled by obnoxious politicians. Again, ... do you think I'm biased?

Of course, I'm not blind for the script's many defaults. The supportive cast largely exists out of cardboard stereotypes, like the comic-relief prime minister's advisor, the rebellious hacker-secretary, and the GI Joe army hero. The sub plot covering the estranged father-daughter relationship is also quite dire, and I deeply regret the fact writer/director Roar Uthaug didn't have the courage to show more violence and bloodshed. Presumably to safeguard the PG-rating, the Troll even has a conscience and refuses to squish little kids.

But seriously, it doesn't matter all that much, because everything revolves around the massive troll. It looks astonishing! It's a truly magnificent sight how the creature merges with the landscape, how it shrieks in melancholy, or how it rapidly and menacingly approaches from the horizon. Awesome, awesome, awesome!

Another detail that had made "Troll" even more fantastic would have been a soundtrack by the genius folk-metal band Finntroll. Granted, they are Finnish instead of Norwegian, but their lyrics and melodic tunes fit this film perfectly.

This reviewer is always delighted to check the film output from Northern Europe, because you never know what to expect, and the surprise factor is always to the upside -- check out, for example, the Finnish X-mas film from 2010, RARE EXPORTS, affectionately known as the "anti-Santa" movie. TROLL 2022 follows a proven and reliable arc remarkably similar to Roland Emmerich's 1998 production of Godzilla which, in turn, is itself faithful to the standard "monster" formula from the 1950's -- monster appears, monster creates havoc, hero has to destroy monster. Tried and true. Competently done. Empathetic leads you can relate to. What makes this story especially interesting (and this is not in TROLL's PR package) is that there are a number of respected archeologists (including for example Michael Tellinger, who has single-handedly rewritten the history of southern Africa) who believe there is some degree of truth in the "petrification" myth, and have extensive documentation to back up their claims. Recommended. ((Designated "IMDb Top Reviewer." Please check out my list "167+ Nearly-Perfect Movies (with the occasional Anime or TV miniseries) you can/should see again and again (1932 to the present))

Not sure why people are dumping on this film with such vitriol, especially when so many American movies are guilty of similar transgressions. It's a fun monster movie in the Godzilla tradition. People fall all over themselves about the Jurassic Park movies and some others but dump on this? Hmm, I don't get the super-hate.

You can read the synopsis on the site, but it's your basic "Monster awakens from centuries-long sleep because of human 'progress' marching into its environment, monster goes nuts and goes on rampage, etc.".

While the film does borrow heavily from some American movies, there are much worse movies out there (insert any Transformer sequel here) that don't get the reaming. The special effects are decent and having a Troll was a pretty good angle as it's not the most used villain in a movie (at least an American movie). Take it for what it is- a comic book of a movie that's reminiscent of the old Rodan Vs Mothra type of stuff.

How can I be taken seriously when on a day when wannabe movie critics are crazy trying to see the new Sight & Sound's #1 (probably boring stuff), I'm here with my Nachos and my Gin & Tonic watching a giant troll destroying a country? I won't and I don't care.

Troll entertains, has good effects, destruction, lots of clichés, stupid humor, a frenetic pace, mythology, and stupidity in equal measure. A perfect film for anyone who has no pretensions to be the next Roger Ebert and just wants to have a good time.

And because I need some extra characters, I will tell you: this is the European Godzilla!