The 80th Annual Academy Awards

I have been watching the Oscars on TV ever since I was a kid, and a lot has changed since then, some things for the better: the elimination of those ridiculous musical numbers, the pairing of two presenter celebs who were forced to exchange tepid, forced, non-witty repartee before finally reading the names of the nominees and announcing the winner, things like that - and one thing, unfortunately, has changed for the worst: the 30-second acceptance speech rule for the winners.

This single act has, in my opinion, ruined every award show that it's been used on in the past few years. The producers say it's a time constraint deal, that without it the winners would just drone on and on, actually getting to enjoy their moment of glory, and the show would run too long, costing the network more money. This excuse doesn't hold water though, because so much time is still wasted, what with all the special presentations, the singing of the nominated songs, blah blah blah. This valuable time could be used to allow the winners to talk, rather than having them up there either (a) rushing like maniacs to shut up before the clock ticks off their allotted seconds, or (b) refusing to kowtow and trying to actually say what they would like to say under the gun of the dreaded ORCHESTRA MUSIC starting to play after their 30 seconds and continuing to get louder and louder until they shut the $#!* up and get the hell off.

I feel that the producers of these shows have completely lost sight of what makes an award show good, what provides the actual GUTS of the show: it's the winners, getting to share with the audience how thrilled, moved, excited, etc., they are to be singled out for this honor. Depriving them by forcing them to speak for only 30 seconds is a crime, in my opinion. And to the people who complain that the show is too long, the speeches go on too long, I say they shouldn't be watching. The Oscars is a show for hardcore movie lovers, and to try to reduce it to a lowest-common-denominator presentation destroys the entire purpose of the show, strips it of its meaning and renders it useless. You might as well be watching a car commercial.

Coming on the heels of the great writer's strike in Hollywood, the 2007 Academy Awards ceremony began amidst wonder about what it would be like, after the Golden Globes, I think, was presented as a bare bones ceremony to which few people showed up. I didn't pay much attention to the writer's strike, partly because I'm living in the middle of China at the moment and partly because I just don't see what the big screaming deal is. Maybe it's because I work for a living so it's hard for me to understand the unjust plight of people who get paid 100 times what I make to sit at home and write jokes. Anyway, John Stewart, again the Oscars' host, introduces the show by exclaiming, "You're here! I can't believe you're here!" He then, of course, goes on to ridicule the whole fiasco, clearly touching some nerves but hopefully lightening the tone a little as well.

As usual, Stewart has some great jokes ("What a shame, Titler had some great ideas! He just couldn't get past the name….and the mustache…"), and some that just clearly make the audience uncomfortable. But again, luckily we have the writers back so we can watch some of our most talented actors come on stage and tell jokes with all the animation and energy of a hockey puck. That's one of the biggest mysteries of the Oscars. Every year, we see the most talented people in the business come on stage and give astonishingly wooden deliveries of their highly rehearsed jokes and speeches. Maybe this is what happens when they don't have a good director helping them?

George Clooney, surprisingly, seemed to get just a little stuck once or twice during his speech introducing the outstanding 80 years of Oscar sequence. Maybe because of the deadpan response to his cheerful "Hi guys!" greeting to the audience. Maybe they were tired. I thought it was funny. The show could always use a little informality to lighten the tension. John Stewart doesn't exactly have the most perfect track record of delivering classic jokes on stage. He's a funny guy, but nearly half of his jokes must make at least half the audience squirm in their seats ("I believe Javier Bardem told his mother where the bathroom is…"). I'm sure that high school kids failing their Spanish classes are still rolling over that one. The rest of us, not so much.

As always the awards are criticized for that ridiculous time limit imposed on the winners. It is certainly true that this show, and any awards show, is ABOUT the winners, and the majority of it should be given to them to give thanks to what is often one of the greatest honors of their lives. John Stewart has plenty of time to make bad jokes and often poke ridiculous fun at some of our most talented actors, yet those actors themselves are so often rushed off the stage by that incessant orchestra music, which is really no different from someone extending a hook onto the stage and yanking the speaker off by their neck.

Obviously, it's clear why this happens. The Oscars, unfortunately, are about honoring the greatest achievement in film-making, but more than that, they are a media frenzy. The show is designed to get ratings much more than to honor performances or achievements. This is why the greatest actors and animators and directors and costume designers and writers are shooed offstage so that Stewart can introduce another pointless montage that does nothing but eat up time. In this ceremony, he even mentions that, had the writer's strike continued, they would have had to "pad the show with even more montages" (Oscar Salute to Binoculars and Periscopes?? Bad Dreams, An Oscar Salute!??).

Pad the show!! What, was there a shortage of material?

After showing these film clips, which Stewart introduces as pointless, he quips about how great it is that they don't have to waste our time by showing them. What the hell is going on here? Is this what the winners are rushed off the stage for?

And by the way, best category announcement of the evening has to go to Forrest Whitaker, and best acceptance speeches? Tilda Swinton and Marketa Irglova. Definitely.

Note: John Stewart mentions the IMDb as he is introducing Nicole Kidman onto the stage. I think that's the first time I've ever heard anyone mention the IMDb at the Oscars. It's just too bad that he has become so famous as a political satirist, because political satire only has the tiniest place at an event like the Oscars. More importantly, it has made it nearly impossible for Stewart to offer genuine congratulations without sounding like he's going to crack some stupid joke afterwards (which half the time he does).

All in all, even though the Oscars seem to get more commercialized every year, they are still all about the love of movies, and this year is no different. It's an inspiring show no matter how many little bothersome things we have to deal with, and it's hard not to enjoy a lot of people experiencing their dreams literally coming true before our eyes. I particularly loved the occasional history of the Oscars montages that they would show in between awards. THAT is the stuff the show should be padded with. After all, remembering great moments in film is what it's all about.

The host sucks, the show is boring and too long, the jokes are stale, the whole thing is a waste of time. they pick the movie that is gay, black, slave, disease, child and move on. weird stuff gets an extra gold star in Hollywood. yuck

"The 80th Annual Academy Awards" this time hosted by funny guy Jon Stewart who was doing the hosting duties for a second time. Clearly was a winner the presenters, and the script was great as Jon's jokes were very humorous it kept the audience at laughter all night as he hit on pop culture things ranging from politics, sex, making babies, and he even gave good praise by saying things about the current nominees. As always legendary Jack Nicholson had a front row seat, the evening was also well done in a traditional and classy way for the way the old clips and montage of flashbacks were used. As each category award was presented before it was handed out a vintage montage of past awards winners was shown from that particular category which was a good film history tribute and it educated many folks in a classy way. Most awards went as expected the favorite Daniel Day Lewis won best actor. And the best film of 2007 clearly got it's due as "No Country for Old Men" took in the best supporting actor nod for Javier Bardem and Joel and Ethan Coen won best director and the just mentioned title rightfully won best picture. Overall this Oscars was well done it was made watchable by Jon Stewart and his honest sharp wit humor it was well paced even though the show ran a little over, yet it was done very classy for the way it used the old montage clips of flashbacks to pay homage to past Oscar winners. I give a thumbs up for "The 80th Annual Academy Awards"

Yes, it's true! I, the ultimate cinephile, have only seen two nominated movies: "I'm Not There" and "Charlie Wilson's War". I've just been working so much that I haven't gotten to go to the movies much (and I frankly think that they should have nominated "Grindhouse" for at least something; I mean, they nominated f**king "Norbit" for an Oscar).

But anyway, on to the review. I really liked that during the pre-awards ceremony with the people arriving, two people made solid statements: Julie Christie wore an ACLU pin to call for the closure of Guantanamo, and Michael Moore apologized to the world for everything that the US has done. I wonder what would happen to anyone who attended the Oscars and called for continuation of the Guantanamo base.

When Jon Stewart hosted two years ago, I named him best host ever (at least during my lifetime). This year, his true highlight was noting that despite the lack of recognition for movies about Iraq, we have to stay the course and keep the movies in the theaters...otherwise the audience wins! In fact, Arianna Huffington noted that the Best Picture nominees all sound as though they allude to John McCain: "No Country for Old Men" (election season!), "There Will Be Blood" (his foreign policy), "Atonement" (how's he explain to his wife all this stuff about the lobbyist?), "Michael Clayton" (he needs a fixer), and "Juno"...well, let's keep an eye on Vicki Iseman.

The montages were about what I expected (why do they never show Kevin Kline?). I get the feeling that a lot of the young people watching this see the montages showing people from the days of yore and have no idea who any of them are. Heath Ledger was probably the most recognizable person in the "In Memoriam" montage.

But like I said earlier, I watched "The 80th Annual Academy Awards" completely numb to most of the nominees. I have no idea whether the winners deserved their wins or not; hell, I've never even heard of Marion Cotillard or Robert Boyle. Although you gotta admit, who would have guessed that Best Original Song would go to an Irish movie ("Once") over a Disney movie ("Enchanted")? The kind of people whom Stephen Colbert spoofs must have gotten angry about Best Documentary Feature going to one about Iraq (and Best Documentary Short Subject, if I remember right, went to a movie about a same-sex partnership). Of course, these sorts of individuals consider the Oscars an excuse for America-hating, Democrat-backing celebrities to promote the "gay agenda". In fact, Stephen Colbert should host the Oscars - in his right-wing commentator persona - and bash everyone for being the blame-America-first crowd (because let's face it: how many movies has Hollywood made saying anything good about the United States?).

All in all, it's neat to see Steve Carell, Cameron Diaz, Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, Helen Mirren, Hilary Swank, Forest Whitaker and the rest doing their stuff. Even though the two movies that I saw didn't win anything, I still liked the broadcast. Any pet peeves? Well, when they showed Bob Clark in the deceased montage, I think that instead of "A Christmas Story" next to him, they should have shown "Porky's"; or maybe "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things".

Overall, I liked it.