Mark Hamill, Bert Kreischer, Robert Maaser, Iva Babic, and Jimmy Tatro in The Machine (2023)

Citazioni

The Machine

Bert: Oh my God I'm inside him. He's so warm.

Bert: Use this drug energy for good. Like Charlie Sheen.

Irina: Did I do that?

Bert: Dad, give me some life advice some words of wisdom.
Albert Kreischer: Everybody's gotta die sometime.
Bert: That's it?

Alexei: So you can fight?
Bert: I went to Florida State. All we know how to do is fight fuck and drink.

Bert: We should get a bunch of kid sized real-dolls on this set. I always wanted to see what being a pedophile felt like... never-mind I already do!

Irina: This is Sponge, my bodyguard.
Bert: Sponge like you absorb liquids?
Sponge: I absorb bullets.

Albert Kreischer: I think I liked that story better when I thought it was a lie.

Igor: Go to Moscow, and save your father.
Irina: If he's still alive. He may have been tortured to death.
Bert: I think she's autistic.

Albert Kreischer: He's the motherfucking machine.

Albert Kreischer: Look at me. I'm molly Parton.

Irina: This is my bodyguard, Sponge.
Bert: Sponge that absorbs liquids?
Sponge: Absorb bullets.
[laughs manically]
Sponge: b

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