3ciento - Chi l'ha duro... la vince!

I work at a movie theater, so the only reason I went to see this movie was because it was free and I thought that it just might be the kind of movie that's so bad me and my friends could entertain ourselves by making fun of it. However, Meet the Spartans left us completely dumbfounded and speechless. It's beyond bad! There was nothing you could say that could make of this movie, it does it all by itself and it doesn't even allow you to laugh while you watch it going down in flames. I considered its predecessor, Epic Movie, to be among one of the worst movies ever made. I didn't think it could possibly get worse, but it did. It's like watching 300 all over again expect with ridiculous pop culture references that aren't even funny. The guys who made this movie obviously don't understand comedy in the slightest bit. I hope that this is the last one of these ridiculous comedies that gets to occupy a theater over another film that might actually be worth something. This film is a waste of money for starters, but even if you don't have to pay, it's just a waste of time.

Me movie is good. Me am smart. Make funny ha ha joke! Ha Ha! Me show you... ug.... people you am know from pop culture tabloids. Me make fun of them! Me show you fat person and you laugh! You laugh at little midgets and farting! PBBBLLLP! Fart noise! HA HA Funny! Me poop my pants. In funny movie Meet Spartans I make fun of other movie. I take scenes from movies you know and make them funny. I add farts or have people kicked down into a hole. I make funny gay jokes about gay people! Ha ha! Don't forget, you laugh at Kevin Federline because he is big loser! Him think he can rap just like me think me can write joke! Me write movie! You remember Epic Movie? Me write that too. Me write with crayons or my own poop that I scoop out of toilet after I fart and go pooh. Me make funny jokes about Paris Hilton. She so stupid! She am loose sexually. Ha HA HA! Me write sequel soon. Me deserve bazillions of dollars for buying things me stupid family deserve. Me ug fbloduad boodle! HAHA!

A dismal failure of a spoof with only the slightest bit of funny. This dreck breaks all the rules of good spoofing.

1. Be timely. A joke about Ellen in Mr Wrong? Really?

2. Be funny when offensive. Accident prone kid in Scary Movie 3, mildly funny. Assault on a kid by Spartian, not funny.

3. Be subtle sometimes. Not everything has to go to the extreme.

4. Be broad. Go everywhere for your spoofs, not just the same wells over and over.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

5. DON'T EXPLAIN EVERY RIFF AND SOURCE MATERIAL. If you have to tell your audience where it comes from, chances are it's not funny.

The fact that this film is only 60 odd minutes plus one of the longest credit sequences loaded with even more unfunny deleted scenes (seriously can't those wait for the DVD no one should buy either), that's just adding insult to injury.

I was recently forced to sit through Meet the Spartans. Ill start by saying that i'm very sick of all this epic/date/scary movie junk. It's been overdone and only appeals to people under the age of 9. The humor in this movie was just as awful as i thought it would be and i could predict the entire movie. I was told before-hand that it was only about 90 minutes, and was a little upset id be paying for that. After watching the movie i was beyond glad that i only had to be tortured for that long, rather than the usual 2 hours. I'll close by saying that if you're forced to watch this movie, rip your eyes out of your skull and pour salt into your head. It will be much more enjoyable.

Was this a bad movie? Compellingly bad. So bad that you have to see what comes next. There are more gay jokes in this flick than can be found in a double feature of "The Bird Cage" and "The Torch Singer". Were the Spartans homosexuals? Duh! Why did I like this movie? "Meet the Spartans" was a structure-free movie, possibly made without a script. Each joke must stand on its own and does. Throughout is the best imitation of Leonidas I can imagine, saying things that I never thought would leave the actor's mouth.

This movies isn't Airplane, but it is funny. More than funny, it is fun. Anyone that can fit spiderman into a movie about ancient Greece isn't all bad...