Jack and the Beanstalk

This is a very good movie, with nothing offensive unless you don't like potty humor. But the movie still got a TV-G rating. I saw "Dumb and Dumberer" the same weekend, and if you want offensive potty humor ...

Plenty of actors give very good performances.

Colin Ford and Chloe Grace Moretz are wonderful as the children with the largest roles.

Gilbert Gottfried is as annoying as always, but his goose is one of the best things about the movie. At some point in the past I learned to accept his very brash style.

Katey Sagal is wonderful as Jack's mom, so normal and loving, until she gets upset and then she's more like the outrageous townspeople.

It is never explained why most of the people have British accents but Jack and his mother don't. Oh, well ...

Daniel Roebuck is appropriately over-the-top as the town's mayor.

There is a sepia-tone silent movie as Verri Saddus tells his story through flashbacks. There is music and narration, and eventually even sound from the past even though the style is still that of silent movies.

James Earl Jones is his usual vicious villain. As with Darth Vader, he doesn't appear, but the giant in this version is no bigger than an NBA player.

Three cops named Who, What and Where are given the job of finding Jack, but all they really do is a funny parody of Abbott and Costello.

It's a worthy effort.

It was beginning to look like a good story. Then the cheesiness came into play. A bit over acted and silly. Again, maybe the very young kids will like this adaptation. I soon lost interest and wished Gilbert Gottfried (the goose) would just shut up already.

The creation of Jack and the Beanstalk, I believe, was hurried and not too much focus on creation. I mean, the giant was not even a giant, more like a big puppet, etc.

Most likely you will take the kids along to a theater to see and hope they will enjoy just the silliness of it all and not my luck of seeing a screener as an adult and no kids along while expecting a totally different style of movie. A More serious adaptation maybe? I think Disney would have done a better job.

My forecast for reviews of Jack and the Beanstalk will be, in grade level, user's (C) and critics (C). Or a 5 rating in IMDb.

GOOD INTERESTING STORY THAT IS FUN AND PRETTY EASY TO FOLLOW = 1/2 Star

MEMORABLE DIALOGUE = 1 Star

FEEL A PULL TO WATCH IT AGAIN = 0 Stars

MUSIC OR SCORE STANDS OUT = 1/2 Star

NO NOTICEABLE PLOT HOLES = 0 Stars

STORY GETS RESOLVED OR FEELS COMPLETE IN SOME WAY = 1 Star

I PERSONALLY LIKE OR FEEL A CONNECTION TO THIS STORY = 0 Stars

MEMORABLE OR LIKABLE CHARACTERS = 1 Star

MOST THINGS ABOUT THE STORY COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN OR ARE BELIEVABLE = 0 Stars

STORY ISN'T BORING OR REPETITIVE = 0 Stars

A funny movie for kids that puts a whole new spin on Jack and the Beanstalk. There are many familiar faces in this film and it's a wonder why it bombed. The story is creative and somewhat funny even for adults. It's almost like a unintentional trippy movie to laugh at with friends. This story is cliche but so is the original story right?

Pretty much low-budget, but very entertaining. A smart, witty parody on famous fairy-tales, full of cultured humor, without vulgarity and all those nasty things that suppose to be funny these days. Perfect for brain relaxation.

8/10

Once you realise that the director works there n the make-up department for most of his life (and still today) you can see why this over acted, badly written, terribly cast sh*t flick is so bad. What you can't believe or understand is how he was allowed to direct it. There must be a much more interesting story there. The writers have only written animated scrips before, so no live film experience which explains why every character in the famous tale is so 1 dimensional. Cameos don't add anything and I sWear you can see the girls eyes moving in some scenes as she reads off dummy cards. Just crap.