Jack and the Beanstalk

This is a very good movie, with nothing offensive unless you don't like potty humor. But the movie still got a TV-G rating. I saw "Dumb and Dumberer" the same weekend, and if you want offensive potty humor ...

Plenty of actors give very good performances.

Colin Ford and Chloe Grace Moretz are wonderful as the children with the largest roles.

Gilbert Gottfried is as annoying as always, but his goose is one of the best things about the movie. At some point in the past I learned to accept his very brash style.

Katey Sagal is wonderful as Jack's mom, so normal and loving, until she gets upset and then she's more like the outrageous townspeople.

It is never explained why most of the people have British accents but Jack and his mother don't. Oh, well ...

Daniel Roebuck is appropriately over-the-top as the town's mayor.

There is a sepia-tone silent movie as Verri Saddus tells his story through flashbacks. There is music and narration, and eventually even sound from the past even though the style is still that of silent movies.

James Earl Jones is his usual vicious villain. As with Darth Vader, he doesn't appear, but the giant in this version is no bigger than an NBA player.

Three cops named Who, What and Where are given the job of finding Jack, but all they really do is a funny parody of Abbott and Costello.

It's a worthy effort.

A fairy tale character who is about to flunk out of fairy tale school, Jack must perform a heroic deed by Monday or fail miserably, just like his father before him. Anxious to make good, Jack sells his C.O.W. (Computer of Wonder) for a handful of magic beans and a mysterious book that records his adventures as he's having them.

It's a cross between a bad kids movie and sarcastic adult fare. There are many problems with this film. The production looks like a bad kids TV show. Much of the movie is colored too far to the yellow and made this look very tired. The sets look cheap and cheesy. Gilbert Gottfried as the golden egg laying goose is another one of the many problems. He is ill-fitting in this kids film. Then again the jokes are really stupid. Chloë Grace Moretz is playing a small role as the damsel in distress in the opening fantasy and Jillian who helps out in the quest. Colin Ford is OK if lacking in screen presence. And everybody is doing badly here which is disappointing considering the many favorite actors here. And this starts with an unreasonable modern dream sequence. If this takes place in an old fantasy land, why would he dream about the modern day. Like so many things here, it's best not to think about it.

Once you realise that the director works there n the make-up department for most of his life (and still today) you can see why this over acted, badly written, terribly cast sh*t flick is so bad. What you can't believe or understand is how he was allowed to direct it. There must be a much more interesting story there. The writers have only written animated scrips before, so no live film experience which explains why every character in the famous tale is so 1 dimensional. Cameos don't add anything and I sWear you can see the girls eyes moving in some scenes as she reads off dummy cards. Just crap.

Absolutely loved this film, the classic story updated a little and with enough going on to keep the younger viewers occupied. For me, in my mid 50's this was a great re-telling of the original story. had a great time identifying the older actors (and voices). For those that give this film a bad review, put yourselves in the shoes of a 6 or 7 year old seeing and hearing the story for the first time and accept it for what it is, a fairy tale! I thought that the standard of acting, the production and all of the sets were superb, in particular the goose that laid the golden egg, Christoper Lloyd as the schoolmaster and Katey Sagal as Jack,s mother were particularly good performances

It was beginning to look like a good story. Then the cheesiness came into play. A bit over acted and silly. Again, maybe the very young kids will like this adaptation. I soon lost interest and wished Gilbert Gottfried (the goose) would just shut up already.

The creation of Jack and the Beanstalk, I believe, was hurried and not too much focus on creation. I mean, the giant was not even a giant, more like a big puppet, etc.

Most likely you will take the kids along to a theater to see and hope they will enjoy just the silliness of it all and not my luck of seeing a screener as an adult and no kids along while expecting a totally different style of movie. A More serious adaptation maybe? I think Disney would have done a better job.

My forecast for reviews of Jack and the Beanstalk will be, in grade level, user's (C) and critics (C). Or a 5 rating in IMDb.