Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre

There aren't many horror films from Iceland; however, this one is a very good start. "Harpoon" has all the great elements of a horror film, despite its less than stellar subtitle "Whale Watching Massacre." The director chose all the right performers to bring the characters to life; each actor did a great job at owning the person they were portraying; however, the director left much to be desired in the action department...and the film could've done without the few gasps of ironic comedy with the character Endo and the matriarch of the insane clan. Overall, the gore effects were good and a few surprising moments that the audience may not suspect. I really despised the ending because it disabled me from taking the film seriously overall, meaning the ending was too campy for this type of film. Kudos again to the actors who performed very well.

What a poster! What a title! What a stinking piece of arctic garbage! Simple enough story. Group of unrelated people set off on a whale watching expedition. Something goes awry. Bad family of crazies show up. Tourists think they're being rescued. People start dying. Try to survive. There ya go.

What a stinking horrible summary that was, huh!? And I could give a crap! This flick in no way deserves my cognitive efforts, and if you think you're gonna read a review that cares...get ready for a supriseis!!1

I really don't even know where to start. I suppose starting with the good is the best case here...since anything positive was entirely slim-pickings. The make-up and blood effects were impressive. The ending was grim. That's it.

The bad...which I forbid to dwell upon, encompassed everything else. The acting was amateur, the writing awful, the use of a Bjork song was appalling, the characters were annoying, and the direction....A word...A word...A word......atrocious. Yes! And the entire movie itself....abysmal! Look at me go, Ma!! To be fair to the entire crew and what not, the productions were indeed slick, but when it came down to telling a solid horror story, it not only dropped the ball, it dropped the ball from the top of the Empire State Building into a pile of steaming Orca excrement. Don't let the positive reviews fool you, or the useful/not useful voting. This movie sucks my ass!

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If that's the case, then Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" must be a very proud man. Many a movie has tried to imitate that movie for a while now, to the point of it becoming more than a little tiresome. Sure, some have managed to succeed in this regard, but many, many more have failed. Though nowhere near as bad as others, "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" just can't pull it off in the end.

In Iceland, a motley group of friends and strangers decide "Hey, we should go whale watching!" This is all great at first. Then an all around annoying alcoholic Frenchman named Jean-Francois (Aymen Hamdouchi) start's goofing off, leading to the boat breaking down and the captain ("Chainsaw's" own Gunner Hansen, here advertised in top billing yet regulated to a cameo) dying. Fortunately, they end up being picked up by a whale fishing vessel. Too bad that it's run by a group of sadistic "Fishbillies" who have some harsh plans.

From the get go, you can tell that "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" wants desperately to be the Icelandic answer to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." To it's credit, it does manage to get a few things right. The movie is rather tongue in cheek to say the least, and some of the humor on display got me to laugh a few times. There's also a great, eerie score by Hilmar Örn Hilmarsson, as well as some choice cinematography. Oh, and the kills and gore are pretty fun at times too, with one near the end that made even jaded old me applaud.

But it still comes up short. I know that this isn't going to be the most original movie, but this is an instance in which familiarity doesn't breed contempt, but boredom instead. This kind of horror movie has been done so many times, and here there just isn't enough to make it stand out. I don't care how crazy these sea-faring hillbillies are, it's still rather annoying. From a social standpoint, the film seems to be making some kind of statement about the whaling industry and it's effect on nature and economy, yet the movie likes to have it both ways, portraying anti-whaling types as selfish, unlikable hippies (though that is true in some cases-look as "Whale Wars.")

The biggest problem though, is that it doesn't seem to know who should be the main character. First you think it's going to be Annette (Pihla Viitala), but the next thing you know it's Mary-Anne (Miranda Hennessy) and Leon (Terence Anderson) and then it's a female Japanese tourist named Endo (Nae.) Not only do we have nobody to root for, but we also have no real main character. Films like this need a major character to hope for, and this offers none of that.

I will say again that in the world of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" tributes and rip-offs, this is far from one of the worst. At the same time though, it offers very little else, and feels like a wasted opportunity. Oh well, chalk up another one.

Interesting fact: Apart from writing the screenplay for this movie, Sjón Sigurdsson also wrote songs for Lars Von Trier's "Dancer in the Dark." Quite a difference to say the least.

Around twenty minutes into this movie I started to wonder if "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" was meant to be a dark comedy. After all, how could this be a serious horror movie when it included scenes such as a traumatised woman singing Björk's "It's Oh So Quiet" over the loudspeakers of a ship whilst a tragedy occurs on the deck? Or the moment in the movie where the scene suddenly changes to a group of people discussing their love for whales? But if it's a comedy, where are all of the scenes designed to make you laugh - or at least smile? It's almost as though the scriptwriter was as confused about the movie they were making as I was about the movie I was watching.

Obviously "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" is a homage to the far superior "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - the original Leatherface (Gunner Hansen) even shows up here. However, everything that "Texas" did right, "Reykjavik" does wrong and then some. The victims here are some of the most one-dimensional stereotypes you could ever assemble from the loud, drunk Frenchman to the Japanese tourists with their camera gear, and none of them are particularly sympathetic or appealing. The only exception is a young black American man (portrayed by an actor in serious need of accent training) whose sexuality prompts one of the most unrealistic dialogue exchanges i've heard (and that's before you take into account the fact that this exchange takes place whilst the two characters are running for their lives from insane whalers). I'm not even sure who was supposed to be the main character in this movie which shows how problematic the story was.

This already unsteady boat is further sunk by gaping holes in logic which will leave you scratching your head in disbelief. For example, early in the movie we're introduced to a character whose presence seems to indicate that our victims have been lured into a trap. However, their fate actually has nothing to do with him but rather an unfortunate (and highly unlikely) accident. This is indicative of the poorly written script in which strangers suddenly and inexplicably relate their life stories to one another merely for the purpose of giving the audience some back-story, or act out of character to set up a specific plot point (see the crazy sequence of events which begins with the line "Your father was a real kamikaze!" for evidence of this).

There is only one death scene that is of any interest and the villains aren't terribly memorable. Whilst it's exciting to see a slasher movie emerge from somewhere other than America, I can't recommend "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" due to its many, many flaws. You would be advised not to waste your time and to instead watch a movie like 2006's "Severance" which manages to be both funny and frightening - two things which "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" completely fails to be.

With only 4 reviews at this time, and 3 of those reviews being bad, I have to think that REYKJAVIK WHALE WATCHING MASSACRE is not getting enough praise for what it actually is... a different kind of slasher that is thoroughly entertaining to watch. Does it have its faults? Of course it does, but not enough to take away from the overall enjoyable experience of the film.

One reviewer says the title is good, but the movie is bad. Honestly, I think it's the other way around. I was expecting to be let down by this one because of the title. Another thing... not sure why this is being compared to THE Texas CHAINSAW MASSACRE. It is nothing like it, not even remotely close. I can only guess that it's because "massacre" is in the title? And it is NOT a comedy as one reviewer suggested.

In closing, I must say that I highly recommend this film to anyone that is a fan of slasher films, and most other horror films as well. There are some interesting death scenes with pretty good gore. The acting is overall decent. The setting is used very well to the film's advantage. It's not TCM and wasn't meant to be. Take it for what it is: A different, yet welcome, kind of slasher. A solid 6 out of 10. Watch it!