Thua me con di

The Vietnamese film Thua Me Con Di (2019) was shown in the U.S. with the title Goodbye Mother. It was directed by Trinh Dinh Le Minh.

It's a coming-out film about two Vietnamese men. One of them, Van, is the oldest grandson. He has returned from the U.S. for an important memorial service for his grandfather. (Van is portrayed by Lanh Thanh.) His partner, also Vietnamese-American, is Ian (Vo Dien Gia Huy Vo).

Van is slow in coming out to his family, but his grandmother (Nsut Le Thien) understands that the two men are gay. The men look enough alike to confuse grandmother, and she bonds to Ian, not Van. But, she knows what's going on.

This movie would have worked well as I've reviewed it above. However, director Trinh Dinh Le Minh has added a subplot full of family melodrama. I haven't seen enough films from Vietnam to know if this drama is expected of any movie, even a relatively light comedy. However, the subplot skews the story away from its basic plot--coming out in a traditional family.

We saw this film as part of Rochester's important ImageOut LGBTQ Film Festival. (Virtual this year.) It has a strong IMDb rating of 7.5. I thought it was even better than that, and rated it 8.

This movie was simply perfect. From the acting to the storytelling. It was funny, heartwarming and emotional. The chemistry between Ian and Van was amazing. The grandmother was so adorable and I loved that out of everyone who were apart of the younger generation, the grandmother was the most accepting of her grandson. I think this has become my favorite film.

This is What I call a great script, incredible story and a great Direction! The Acting was great, Believable and the landscapes of the Movie itself gave an unforgettable experience of 2 young gay man that loved each other deeply! What a pleasant time to view and even full of drama in A poor Vietnam still full of prejudices and Tradition. The Mother's Acting was so inspiring where Director showed what a real mother should feel about his son no matter what his sexual orientation is and also shows a sweet Mother that can forgive everything for unconditional love! Now the Acting of The Grandmother brought a lot of spice and cute situations that made the movie even better!

If you asked me what it's like being gay in Vietnam, especially in a rural area, I'll ask you back if you could have one hour and a half to watch this movie to be fully acknowledged of it.

The film did a wonderful job of delivering realistic cultural facts in Vietnam by portraying normal life in the countryside of a family, where there is one homosexual grandson.

A little bit of background for you guys who are unfamiliar with the situation here: The deceased father of the main character (Nau/Van) is the first son of the family, and Nau is the only child of his parents. In Vietnamese culture (I would say inherited from Chinese culture, but that's a different story) it is assumed that he plays an important role in maintaining the bloodline and stuff. The tradition is even more conserved, as one lives in a rural area. So it is even more challenging for one in such situations to come out than it is already.

You may find yourself failing to understand some of the scenes: one being forced to drink beers together, being forced to touch a girl's thigh, a group of women appearing out of nowhere and yelling aggressively. That is just how things happen in Vietnam. I, as a Vietnamese, have been dragged into these situations many times.

The acting was, by the way, good and emotionally correct, the mom made me miss my mom, the grandma made me miss my grandma, and the aunties also made me miss my aunties. And the choice of 2 young new actors to play the 2 main characters was somewhat fit, their unskilled performance fits with how dull and goofy the foreigners are supposed to be when they come to Vietnam.

Love the chemistry between Ian and Van. The movie was worth 2 hours watching