- Transamerican Stewardess Nancy Needatwat: [as her hands accidentally grab Griff and Jarod's crotches during turbulance] Oh my God, there's snakes on the plane!
- Transamerica Stewardess Debbie Gottakunt: [on the intercom while the plane is going through severe turbulence] In the unlikely event of a water landing
- Transamerica Stewardess Debbie Gottakunt: [unzips and exposes her ample chest] I may be used as a flotation device!
- Jasper Pledge: [referring to a tiki that Nico found] Did anybody find the unlucky tiki I planted?
- Jasper: [shocks him, part of his hazing] Did anybody find the unlucky tiki he planted?
- Jasper Chan: 'Cher's' already accessorized it.
- Luis: [zombies are bearing down on Andy] Over here!
- Andy Wilson: Luis? What are you doing here?
- Luis: It's a dream sequence. Come on before it's too late!
- Jasper, Jasper Chan, Jasper Pledge: [both groups are meeting for the first time] We're Jasper.
- Nico: Nice to meet you. We're Cher.
- Jasper Chan: [concerned after seeing Griff naked] The nerd's packing eight inches Jasper!
- [impressed]
- Jasper Chan: Maybe nine.