Lesbian Vampire Killers

This is for everyone who didn't like this movie. What did you expect. Really, what did you expect? You went to see a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers. It had the lesbians, it had the vampires and oh yes, there were killings. Okay, it wasn't the best movie ever. The style was kind of like heroes meets sean of the dead. But it was as funny as other good comedies, it kept me entertained from start to finish mostly because of the lesbians but that's neither here nor there and although the plot was simple it was a nice idea. Essentially unless you like lesbians vampires and killings, and unless you one of those people who sees Matthew Horne throwing a sword at the bad guy who is in the middle of his two friends and think 'that doesn't make any sense he could have missed and hit James Corden, why didn't he just stab the sword' instead of thinking 'wow that was kick ass' then don't go and see this movie because you won't enjoy it.

The danger with movies with titles like this is that sometimes the title is all you get, and the movie doesn't really deliver. Well, "Lesbian Vampire Killers", directed by Phil Claydon and written by Stewart Williams & Paul Hupfield, fortunately does manage to be pretty entertaining stuff, although viewers reading the title and hoping for something REALLY trashy are going to be sorely disappointed.

The story is yet another borrowing of J. Sheridan LeFanus' "Carmilla", as the ancient vampire queen Carmilla (Silvia Colloca) and her many minions face off against easygoing duo Jimmy (Mathew Horne) and Fletch (James Corden). Also along for the ride are a quintet of hottie college students, including the adorable MyAnna Buring ("The Descent") as the appealing Lotte. Lending valuable exposition and dedication is the determined Vicar (Paul McGann, who's pretty bad ass).

As this plays out, one can hardly fail to notice that this works as a spoofing of Hammer horror period pieces, and it also quotes "Dracula", "An American Werewolf in London", and Ed Woods' oeuvre. It's lively, striking, well designed and lit entertainment with atmosphere to spare. It goes for the gross out a lot, but instead of blood spattering all over the place, the filmmakers go more for slime, pus, and the like. The actors play things as straight as is necessary, and Horne and Corden are a reasonably engaging pair even if they're no Pegg and Frost. McGann is fun as the heroic Vicar with the foul mouth; Colloca is a delicious villainess.

The movie is never terribly funny but it still may engender some smiles on the part of the audience. It ain't "Shaun of the Dead", but it ain't bad, either. It's stylish throughout and begins and ends with a flourish.

Seven out of 10.

This is one of those titles that make you expect the worst, but make you have to watch it. So I took some time on a weary afternoon, and I gave it a shot.

The first minutes I was happily surprised. Settings and costumes chosen with care, good camera-work and effects (none of the vague stuff that surrounds low-budget flicks), and some witty dialogues. Typical British, yes, but that's a positive remark. The main characters, and their main philosophy, was much to my liking. What follows is more of the same, and I never felt the need to fast-forward or to hide my face and ears in shame. My eyes definitely could appreciate the displayed beauty, whereas in England, these girls should actually be harder to find.

Okay, so the critics will bash on the plot (no sh*t, Sherlock) and the overacting in some cases (again, it's not a candidate for the Oscars). True, no need to expect the best either, but if that's what you're going for, then why choose this movie.

A good time, with true laughs ... I got what I came for.

I use IMDb often for my decisions. If there are many contradictory opinions, like "boring" and "tensioning", then I go and view the movie. Mostly it works, so it did here for me. I watched this nice comedy twice, at first alone, second with my 16 years old son, both times in English with English subtitles (we are Austrian). We both enjoyed the dry humor and the actors. L.W.K. is well played, nice written and well produced. It really doesn't deserve the low IMDb rating. Maybe it's not for the big screen, and maybe the title discourages people to buy a ticket, because they think it's porn. I would recommend a less ambiguous title, and a better P.R. campaign, because the movie simply deserves it. So, if you can get the DVD, don't hesitate, buy or rent it. This nice comedy has its qualities. I have to confess that there could be some better development, more unpredictability, and whatsoever someone can miss here, but overall the movie itself is the surprise. Alone the first fifteen minutes are full of good ideas and are worth the price. For us boys (only).

The film is a continuous quote: Dracula, American Werewolf in London, Withnail and I, Ed Wood's films, Roger Corman's horror movies with Vincent Price (Paul McGann's excellent vicar's tone is very reminiscent of Price's in Corman's interpretations of Poe) and all the Hammer horrors with lesbian undertones.

More than just a spoof the film is in a genre of its own being a "spoof-of-a-spoof" like few others before. This can make it difficult to understand just what the film sets out to do if one is expecting a horror, it certainly is not a horror or an action movie. The comparisons to Shaun of the Dead are also a big red herring and not very helpful, as this is a much more Post-Modern citation exercise with references far wider and in many more genres; it's not simply a case of an attempt in emulating for vampires what the Romero zombie movies did for Shaun of the Dead, but altogether a much more varied and inclusive exercise. L.V.K also takes itself less seriously to a degree than one would not believe in a feature length film, but it manages to do so in a way that is very entertaining if one is prepared to fore-go most of the expectations of what a film should be about.

The writing could have been polished up further, it could have done with a final re-write to tie it all together, and this is the film's main weakness, but there is enough comedy in it to laugh every few minutes if one is prepared to embark on this journey of quotation spotting. Some of the lines are so outrageously camp that with different actors it certainly would not have worked, but the film has been brilliantly cast and even the most improbable lines are recited and acted with just the right level of irony.

The sound effects are one of the strongest elements, together with the lesbian vampires' epic hair-dos which are highly imaginative and an exercise in quotations in itself, a strong effort by the art directors in what is a low-budget movie that makes no apologies for it. Phil Claydon's directing is full of enjoyment, he is constantly joking with the cameras and choices of shots that are commentaries on a commentary, further spoofing Hitchcock in the shower sequence for example.

This is a film might require a specific understanding of the Post-Modern culture we are living in to be appreciated, or it can simply be enjoyed for what it is. It is neither violent nor scary, but this is not necessarily a bad thing and it might be here that lies its charm, those who will let go of politically correct preoccupations of what a film or a title of a film should be about will inevitably enjoy this light hearted comedy as it has plenty of opportunities to laugh out loud, if you are not too worried what the person next to you or the eminent critics will think of you and you just join in the fun!