Ninja Cheerleaders

I thought I should comment on this film, since it's really not as cute as it was probably meant to be. The film revolves around three girls who are determined to get into Brown College. To pay their tuition they strip at a local bar. The owner of the bar is a ninja master who lands into some heavy trouble and of course the ninja cheerleaders get involved.

The first thing that's off is just the title: Ninja Cheerleaders. It kind of sums it up. I got fooled by the ninja part. Almost everything in the film is tacky. Plot, writing, directing, lighting, fighting etc. A few of the older actors do deliver nicely, but they can't salvage this shipwreck of a film. The biggest disappointment is actually the poor quality of the fights, since I'm a huge fan of martial arts.

I'm thinking that the target audience for this film is young girls who need a strong role-model of a determined successful woman who doesn't need a man. Oh my god, did I really just write that? Another target group is probably teenage boys, who would be better off watching American pie, at least it has boobies in it.

P.S. I might ask the film makers what's up with the topless women between scene changes? Of very poor taste and utterly irrelevant...

I was drawn to the unsurpassable promise given by the title. I got what I expected, but also more. Ninja Cheerleaders is the best bad movie I ever saw, very funny if you don't take it serious and with some surprisingly good elements here and there.

You are not likely to mistake it for a Kubrick movie, nor will you ponder whether Jet Li could have done better fights. I have however seen a lot of allegedly A-movies which are much worse than this.

So if you like the title, don't miss the movie!

And no, they are not naked. They are only very pretty, very sparsely dressed and move quite nicely.

Cute. The girls are cute. The fight scenes are cute. The red VW Beetle is cute. Etc.

These girls fight for justice, righting wrongs, selling Girl Scout cookies - that is, when they aren't stealing swords in the middle of the night, cheering at their junior college, and dancing at a strip club, where they never actually strip.

It's funny how a B-movie like this contains less action than it would if it were an A-movie. There is actually more acting in this movie than I expected, given all the background elements thrown in at random.

I think this movie was more fun to make than it is to watch, but it was fun for at least one viewing.

Are there better B-movies on the market? Yeah, I think so.

The title did NOT lead me to expect a Showgirls movie budget. Should George Takei, Larry Poindexter, and Michael Pare have held out for better roles? Maybe, maybe not. I didn't buy this movie based on their names, or the names of the girls ( frankly, I'd never heard the girls names ), but they ARE pretty.

This is a B-movie, with B-movie values, and pretty girls with topless scenes ( not enough, but then there rarely are ). It kinda sorta had a plot, with few twists you really couldn't see coming.

It is a fun movie. It's not Showgirls; it wasn't meant to be.

Now this one was pretty insulting, though, honestly, going into a movie called Ninja Cheerleaders you know what you're getting into. Still, the description on the On Demand channel was hard to resist: three college girls are cheerleaders and students by day, but by night they are either ninjas or strippers. Depends on the night. Both of those professions, however, have the same employer, the girls' karate instructor Hiroshi, played by none other than George Takei. Kind of creepy, as the implication is that Sulu has been training these girls in the martial arts since they were children, and then later employed them at his strip club (so they can raise the money to go from their community college to Brown). The action is laughably awful. Most of the acting is actually better than one would expect. The three leads, Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick and Maitland McConnell are never going to win an Oscar, but they're acting is far above porn star acting. And at least they're attractive. The biggest bummer here is that the three cuties never show their breasts. They get down to lingerie. So as not to tease the audience too much, director Presley throws in some fancy wipes to real strippers for no particular reason as the scenes transition. This is most definitely schlock, but it kind of reminded me of the good old days of late night HBO or USA Up-All-Nite.