Dog Gone

A dog leash hanging on a hook in a home without a dog immediately reveals the sadness a boy feels for the loss of the dog he has loved. Owen is not allowed to have a replacement dog because of his sister's allergy to dog fur. So his need to care for a dog is shown when he needs to save a dog being used to smuggle flawless stolen diamonds. The comic trio of crooks who want to secrete the diamonds enter the story. Although very discreet with the diamonds they have a conspicuous get-away car of pink and white with a backfiring exhaust. Then there is the mystique of a mad mountain man who we can't be too sure is just a figment of Own's imagination. We're yearning for the hermit's backstory but mention of him is kept to a minimum until his role in the story is revealed. A number of the characters in the film didn't really qualify as necessary and I could actually done without them. I say this because I was feeling fatigued towards the end of the film and would have welcomed a shorter running time. But it is a nice movie with some heart-warming moments between Owen and the dog which he names Diamond. The crooks have some funny moments, my first choice of which is the head of the gang Blackie disguised as a blind nun wearing lipstick.

This is one of the most stupid films I have ever seen.

Whether you are a kid or the parent of a kid, chances are that when you watch "Dog Gone", you'll experience a severe case of deja-vu. Echoes of other movies - much better movies - will rear their heads throughout. The movie that it copies the most is "Home Alone", but this family movie also rips off "Caddyshack"! Maybe this rip-off could have worked, but unless you are a kid - a really REALLY little kid - this movie is tough to sit through. It's so broadly played by its cast that you can't get involved with the main protagonist and the dog that he cares about. It's also at times so badly directed and edited that it takes you a few seconds to realize what just happened. And I won't get into the bizarre casting of Garrett Morris as the town's police chief. As I said, maybe really little kids might like this movie, but come on parents, surely you can find something better to entertain your kids!

I would be proud of my child if they wrote this screenplay in high school. The fact that somebody is supporting their career with this is genuinely disturbing. It's loaded with Sandler levels of sophomoric humor, which I could do without - though there are plenty who eat it up and that's fine.

And yes, I get that it's a kids movie. But come on, there's more mental sustenance in a happy meal. If movies were food this would be the equivalent of serving Crisco, baking soda, sugar, and eggs and calling it chocolate chip cookies. It's missing some key ingredients, is nauseating to many, and revered by few.

At first I was going to say this is a harmless film for kids. Still, it was rated TV-PG-V when I saw it. I thought this was overly cautious because I've seen far worse with the same rating and a different font (TV PG with one font seems to be less family-friendly than TV-PG with a different font). I was also going to say it is a family movie which is not offensive other than possibly making anyone over the age of twelve feel dumber after seeing it. But no, the last few minutes can be compared favorably with the classic "Home Alone". And Owen's scientific abilities exceed those of Macauley Culkin's character. Plus we have an amazing thrill ride and a touching conclusion.

Owen tries to help the dog but it is clear our heroes don't want him to, and the results are comically painful. Also, hiding the dog from Lilly creates some opportunities for comedy.

When the cops don't believe Owen, that's fine, because the movie would have been over way too soon. A lot of wacky adventures are still to come, and the wackiest are coming toward the end. With lots more gadgets and plenty of physical comedy. And it is revealed whether there is a Mad Man of the Mountain.

The squirrels are quite realistic but still look animated. Same for the hornets, Stinky the Skunk, and Bill Murray's nemesis from "Caddyshack".

Did I mention how stupid the villains are?)

I don't think anyone will be watching this movie for the acting, though the girl playing Lilly stands out, and of course French Stewart does what he does best, which is playing incompetent morons. And he's the smartest of the three. Anyone who likes watching moronic bad guys get what they deserve should be happy. And there are several really funny gags like one involving a hot waitress in shorts. On the other hand, Owen's mom is entirely too perky. But we don't see much of her. Garrett Morris of "2 Broke Girls" doesn't really impress here.

It's like I said. This is a kids' adventure. Very funny and lots of fun, and not really harmful.