Tyrannosaurus Azteca

This movie threw me at first in the way it's put together.

First I thought it is a Mexican movie, then I find out that it's Sy-Fy original. I thought it was filmed in Mexico, then I find that it's filmed in Oahu Hawaii (The same ranch where they filmed the "Wind Talker"). I thought the girl was Maxican, and I find that she's Tibetian-Australian. One thing I was right was that the guy looked Hawaiian, and he was.

The reason why I thought the movie was Mexican was that it was about the level of quality of average Mexican movie. It is kind of bad even for a Sy-Fy channel special. What I like about the film is that it's shot quite beautifully. And the actors are actually pretty good looking.

So despite the low budget feel, it only reinforces the fact that these actors are actually worth looking at. The girl looked like Pocahauntus for real.

Everyone says this movie is bad, but for a movie that's supposed to bad, it's sure getting lot of views. So somebody must be liking it.

I thought it was a great idea to combine T-Rex with the Aztecs and the conquistadors.

I was never bored while watching this movie, although it was shockingly low quality in production. I can't say that for many of the more higher quality production movies, so at least the script was acceptable in this movie.

Considering that Japanese anime studios routinely outputs a high quality program at about this budget range, I'm not sure if 2.5M for this movie is justified, but it was an interesting movie to watch in many different ways.

I was prepared to hate AZTEC REX. Stupid title, stupid plot, completely unbelievable. Charitably called a B-movie, this is one of the many schlocky pictures released via the Sci-Fi Channel in America. Others have been absolutely god-awful, so why shouldn't this one be? From the beginning, things don't look good. The T-Rex is inevitably brought to life with some pretty diabolical CGI effects that make the BBC's WALKING WITH DINOSAURS look like an authentic nature documentary. The acting is wooden – there's no point trying to deny it. When the highlight is an ex-NEIGHBOURS actress wandering around in a bikini for the film's duration, you know you're in trouble. With a bunch of ex-TV actors and actresses attempting to convincingly portray Aztec warriors and Spanish Conquistadors, there's not really much hope, even from the start. The low budget and cheap look dooms this one from the outset.

But – wait a second. This film has something that most B-grade flicks don't: it has a sense of humour. And hey, it's actually quite entertaining to watch, albeit in a so-bad-it's-good way. Sure, it's a cheesy combination of at least three movies: JURASSIC PARK, APOCALYPTO and KING KONG, but somehow, the combination works. Instead of making us wait an age for the monster to appear, as in the old monster flicks, this one introduces us to the T-Rex from the start as he chews a guy's leg off. That's something else: the surprisingly graphic blood 'n' guts effects. They come thick and plentiful, with actors losing limbs, intestines and spraying arterial blood across the screen. The thing about the gore is that it isn't repulsive as in something like HOSTEL. Instead, it's colourful and amusing and left me looking forward to the next poorly animated death.

In the end, AZTEC REX is a success. I loved it, a lot more than many A-list Hollywood blockbusters. I was enthralled, I had a laugh, I had a really good time. And I can rest the success of this delightful movie on one man's shoulders alone: director Brian Trenchard-Smith. This man has been making B-movies for over thirty years and shows no signs of slowing down. He was responsible for TURKEY SHOOT, one of my all time favourite 'nasties', as well as the fun crime flick DAY OF THE ASSASSIN. Trenchard-Smith knows his genre inside out and I think he's a man who you can guarantee will give you a fun time. Leave your expectations at the door and give AZTEC REX a chance!

I'll bet none of you knew that the famous Conquistador Hernando Cortes made a preliminary scouting expedition to Mexico before taking on the Aztecs. Good thing he did because he would never have known about those T Rexs that inhabited one particular valley where the locals revered them as gods.

That was understandable. What wasn't was the casting of blue eyed Ian Ziering as Cortes. Even with the blond hair made famous in Beverly Hills 90210 dyed black, Ian looked positively ridiculous. At least he made no attempt at a Spanish accent.

The real hero of Tyrannosaurus Azteca is Marco Sanchez also late of a television series with a semi-recurring role in Walker Texas Ranger as Detective Sandoval of the Dallas PD. He finds true love with an Aztec princess and life would be just perfect if it wasn't for those pesky prehistoric beasts the natives worship.

Tyrannosaurus Azteca looks like they used some outtakes from the famous Sid&Marty Krofft series the Land of the Lost. All that was needed was some Sleestak to appear.

If you're interested in finding out about this reconnoitering expedition that didn't quite make the history books by all means check out Tyrannosaurus Azteca. Then try and sit through it with a straight face.

It was 1 a.m. in the morning and I had nothing else to do. Don't judge me... please.

We're back in time during the Spanish settlements. A group have made their way onto an island. It doesn't take too long before they encounter a large "reptile", which gobbles up their horse. Soon they're captured by the natives and in order to gain freedom they must kill the "reptile gods." THE CG sucks; it reminds me of the CG of early console video games. The encounters were lame. The only positive thing I have to say about this was the hottie native running around in a skimpy outfit. Otherwise it's just a middling effort.

With nothing better to do I decided to check out "Aztec Rex" (as it was being billed) for the hell of it.

The silly story might have played better if the dinosaur effects were convincing. They actually looked like animatics (those rough designs that artists later use to finish the CGI effects, adding more details, smoother movements, etc.) Absolutely awful-looking dinosaurs, which is the only reason you'd probably want to sit through this anyway.

The one redeeming factor was the lovely Dichen Lachman as Ayacoatl. She kept my interest; if only the budget had been ramped up and some convincing dinosaurs could have been used.

Disappointing. At least the cast and crew got a free trip to Hawaii, where the movie was filmed.