Yeti

A football team is flying over the Himalayan Mountains when their plane crashes in desolate territory. Bodies are searched for food and lighters in order to survive. But the team has bigger problems than the cold: they have landed in the vicinity of the legendary yeti, and he's plenty hungry.

This made-for-TV movie directed by Paul Ziller and written by Rafael Jordan, neither of whom have offered anything noteworthy thus far in their careers. I'm not sure that this will really boost either of their careers, as it, too, is nothing noteworthy. In fact, it's a largely pointless endeavor. Even the cast is pretty much a group of unknowns, with the minor exception of Crystal Lowe, whom you're unlikely to have heard of unless you follow movies closely.

What makes me curious is whether this film is intended to be bad, or is just plain bad. That makes a difference, as I can forgive a film's badness if the intent was self-deprecation. For example, the star quarterback's name is Peyton Elway. Now, I'm not a fan of the NFL -- I don't even know the names of my local team's starting lineup, but I do know who Peyton Manning and John Elway are. So the reference was about as obvious as can be. Please tell me this was intended as a bad joke and not as a poor attempt to be clever.

I have to say the airplane animation was not needed, and the same with the yeti. The airplane looks especially cheesy while crashing, and I felt the point was made adequately from just the interior shots. The yeti, which required an elaborate costume, repeatedly is shown jumping and running as a cartoon. Why? Did the crew have no faith in the costume? If they can show it close up, surely it would look fine at a distance -- I mean, it's not as bad as "Raptor Island", but still.

The one thing this film has going for it, besides a decent survival narrative (which, ironically, is ruined rather than strengthened by the yeti), is a brief limb-beating scene. It's close to the end, so you'll have to sit through plenty of bull first. And, sadly, despite a football team -- with women -- on a plane, no mile high club (see "Snakes on a Plane", or better yet, don't).

Conclusion: The Maneater series has some decent entries ("Croc") and some not-so-decent entries ("Blood Monkey"). This one falls somewhere in the middle. Interesting enough to hold your attention, but not interesting enough to recommend to friends or watch a second time. And since the disc comes with no special features, there's no good reason to spend more time on this one than the 87 minutes of running time.

Ah yez, the Sci Fi Channel produces Yeti another abominable movie. I was particularly taken by the scenes immediately following the crash where, as the survivors desperately searched for matches, at least a half dozen fires burned – with no apparent reason – at various points of the wreckage. Fire seemed to be a predominate theme throughout. They searched corpses for lighters and matches, and finally finding a box built a fire every day for, apparently, 12, but no one ever gathered wood. Then when the vegan (hah) burned the bodies, what did she use for an accelerant? I mean these guys were frozen – well maybe not. Despite the apparent low temperature everything the yeti ate, bled. Maybe it's just me, but even in a totally unbelievable tale (none of the survivors had ever heard of a yeti, or an abominable snowman, until the very end), if you take care of the little things the bigger deals become more acceptable. Oh, what did the prologue (1972) have to do with the remainder of the movie? And the revolver, warm enough to hold in his hand, froze up and wouldn't fire. Gimme a break. Well, at least we have Carly Pope, another eminently lovely Canadian lass. And, with little irony, Ed Marinaro as the coach.

Well I might as well add, the rabbit they ate (despite it looking like chicken) is not a rodent, but a lagomorph. Now if it had been a squirrel (or a rat) it would have been a rodent, but it still looked like chicken. And the writers missed a real chance to have someone note "It tastes just like..."

I had the misfortune to watch this rubbish on Sky Cinema Max in a cold winter night. I am not a big fan of horror movies, because most of them are just trash. This one is even worse: it is one of the dumbest pieces of crap i've ever seen in my whole life. Horror movie? Yes, there are horrible things in this: the acting, the script and the special effects - Gosh, i laughed at this ludicrous attempt to make a flick for 90 minutes. Actually, had it been a comic movie i would've given it a 5. Don't you even think about renting this unless you want to mock at the producers.

Vote: 2 out of 10 - didn't vote one because it made me laugh all the time ;-)

Mr Yeti and his ugly brother (at least I hope that's not Mrs Yeti) live in a cave in the Himalayan mountains where recently trees (just like in Canada, coincidentally) started growing, not knowing it is far too high up for them. The Yetis eat the occasional stupid explorer or tourist, but since the last ones came around in 1972, they became really hungry. Fortunately, a plane full of bad TV actors crashes nearby, and they are obviously unable to survive (I mean, they start making a tiny fire to save them from the cold while the flames on the crashed plane's wing are still five feet high, see 0:14:39 PAL runtime).

Well, this monster movie has a few (unintended) funny moments, but gory effects make it unsuitable for a younger audience, while it is altogether too annoying for a mature audience, so at the end of the day, it's a cheap flick nobody really needs to watch.

First off, I'm not here to dog this movie. I find it totally enjoyable in spite of the poor production quality. The acting herein is about as abominable as the monster stalking them, although the monster itself is quite well done...impressively well done, at that. He actually looks kind of other-worldly, like an alien family on vacation landed in the Himalayas and while dad was out taking a ... attending to nature's call, Spot got loose and they just didn't have time to hunt him down. That, or he's the Caucasian brother of the Wishmaster. I haven't decided which.

Actually, this seems to have been filmed somewhere in snow country, yes, but more likely Canada somewhere than China anywhere. The trees and vistas say Canada to me, and it's okay that the set area never takes on the look or feel of uber-coldness one might expect to find in the Himalayas of China. It's a Sci-Fi Channel movie, so we can forgive the lack of location.

Further, apparently (as we have just established) Sci-Fi directors do not travel often, as they are not aware that commercial planes fly above weather like what is featured herein and the subsequent crash actually would not have happened. But as I said, it's a Sci-Fi Channel movie so we must forgive a few things.

The movie is pretty graphic at times, and rotates between "Alive" about the Donner Party, "Predator" about the alien in the woods, and any bad wushu movie where they fly about on wires. The Yeti apparently can leap about like Spiderman...or Super Mario...remember? "Run faster! Jump higher! Live longer!"

Also, the Yeti has missed his teddy bear. He's searched high and low for it, but cannot seem to make a cadaver work. Poor Yeti! You can't help but feel sorry for it. It has survived and evolved thousands of years only to succumb to severe teddy bear loss. He's missed his bear. Or maybe it wants to mate, but that thought is BANISHED! Do ya hear me? Well, it does seem to be an unmated male. REBANISHED!

And it's superhuman. Well, it's not human...it's super-Yeti! But then again, what's normal-Yeti? I don't know, but he has a definite Michael Meyers quality that is completely unsettling. And he's got this fabulous way of cleaning his fur. FABulous Dahlink! It's spotlessly white at times when it SO shouldn't be. He's fastidiously superhu-...super-Yeti.

All in all? This was a lot of fun to watch, has some great kills and a few honest plot elements. In spite of the horribly gravel-like production style, this is actually quite entertaining. I can't help wondering if they're planning on another one?

It rates a 6.0/10 on the M4TV Scale.

It rates a 4.4/10 on the Movie Scale from...

the Fiend :.