Blonde Ambition - Una bionda a NY

Who wrote this? Some guy named John Cohen. I guess this was the first screenplay he's ever worked on. Someone should've told him you're supposed to write dialog that sounds like something someone actually might say.

And who directed this? Scott Marshal? Son of Gerry Marshall. My the nut has fallen far from the tree. Someone might have wanted to let him know that you can, in fact, shoot a scene in a cab in New York, and it will look real, and you won't have to fake it with a blue screen for no reason. Might have also wanted to let him know he should stay away from Jessica Simpson, but hopefully he's learned that lesson now.

And Jessica Simpson... naturally she can't act. Hell, she makes Jessica Alba look like Audry Hepburn, and yet she's starring in this movie. OH wait, it was produced by her father. Okay, that's why she got the part. That's really the only reason I can think of.

So should I be surprised it's bad? No. Should I be amazed at how bad it is? I think a lot of people would if they saw as much of it as I did. I mean you expect a movie starring Jessica Simpson to be bad, but this... it's not just bad, it's the complete opposite of a classic film. Think of a great Woody Allen movie, this film is as bad as that film is good. It's the Anti-Annie Hall.

I am so glad I didn't pay to see it, I stopped watching ten minutes in cus I couldn't go on. No doubt I would've walked out of the theater sooner. In fact I wonder how many of the 6 people who saw it per theater actually stayed and watched the whole thing. The film starts out laughably bad, and then goes to the point of being so bad it becomes a kind of Chinese water torture. And then, around when the first act is ending, you realize it'll only get worse, and that's when you either need to leave, or kill yourself.

In conclusion, this film goes under the category of being so bad it should be used in place of water boarding at Guantanamo Bay. Although some prefer the water boarding.

By now you should already know about this film, the Jessica Simpson "bomb" that pretty much went straight to video (limited, anemic theatrical run). Basically, Ms. Simpson's Katie travels from a small town in Oklahoma to visit her boyfriend, to surprise him, only to find him in bed with another woman. She is stranded, but has one friend (Rachel Leigh Cook, whom I wish we saw more often in film), who lets her stay. Katie ends up getting a job via two conniving co-workers (Penelope Ann Miller and the always amusing Andy Dick) who are just using Katie to get the president of the firm (Larry Miller) ousted. This is strictly a b movie, its not meant to be profound. Jessica Simpson is not a great actress by any means, but she is pretty much beautiful and never truly annoying. The film is watchable in that its not an abomination, but its throwaway fluff. In a cameo, Penny Marshall is funny (a subtle in-joke about Milwaukee made me chuckle), and there is a funny scene involving Norwegian priests (don't read too much into this). So, not horrible, but easy to skip. Your safe bet is to watch it on television if it ever does. Again, not good, but not a profound disaster.

This is a truly awful movie, but wonderful at the same time. It's like Tokyo Drift ... although not quite as stupid as that masterpiece. Blonde Ambition is not a mean, ugly film like Showgirls, which they have tried to rebrand as a cult classic. Rather, it is a piece of bubblegum ... and a monument of sugary stupidity rarely achieved in cinema ... therefore bubblegum you can savor long after the flavor is gone. Watching Jessica Simpson mug like an idiot, trying to do slapstick, possibly the worst I've ever seen, is a joy beyond words. Andy Dick is a dick. I guess Luke Wilson has some talent, but this script is so bad it's kind of fun to watch the what-the-****-am-i-doing-in-this-t*rd looks fall across his face as he tries to deliver the awful lines. Highly recommended.

Katie (Jessica Simpson) lives in Oklahoma with her "Pap Paw" (Willie Nelson), who runs a general store. She is engaged to a real looker, Billy (Drew Fuller) who is leaving the plains for New York City, with the intent to become a top model. Katie is forlorn about his departure and soon makes plans to travel to Manhattan herself, for a surprise visit. However, Billy the Cad has a woman in his bedroom when Katie comes knocking. Tearfully, Katie gives him back the ring and heads to the apartment of another Oklahoma transplant, Haley (Rachael Leigh Cook). Haley is an aspiring actress and offers welcome and comfort to Katie. But, when she has an audition, she asks Katie to fill in for her at her day job as a bicycle courier. In short order, Katie not only meets a nice mail clerk, Ben (Luke Wilson) but also a nefarious company vice president, Debra (Penelope Ann Miller) and her loathsome assistant, Freddy (Andy Dick). Perceiving Katie as a "dim bulb", they soon have her placed as the secretary for the company president (Larry Miller), where they hope to manipulate her into embarrassing the prez in front of the board of directors, resulting in his ouster and Debra's elevation. Can such a scheme work and is Katie really just another dumb bunny? This is a very predictable offering to fans of light romance but it has its moments and most of the cast is really terrific. Simpson herself is rather nondescript but pleasant but not so for the other thespians. Wilson is engaging as ever, Penelope Ann Miller makes a fine screen witch, and Dick has some really funny scenes. Larry Miller, Nelson and Cook also add much to the film's enjoyment. As for Fuller, all one can say is "wow!" He is very handsome and should have a bright future ahead of him, as an actor or a model. While there is nothing spectacular about the costumes, sets, or photography, they are definitely up to par, but the formulaic script and direction alternates between humor and tediousness. In short, if you are not an admirer of the romcom genre, you would probably be well advised to skip this one altogether. But, for those who adore tales of love and laughs, this will fill a need when entertainment choices are lacking.

I'm going to give the writers most of the blame for what didn't work in this movie, and I'm going to give Jessica Simpson an A for Effort.

What Luke Wilson is doing here is anybody's guess. Mortgage payment due? Lost a bet? Penny Marshall made him? He just wanted one scene with the genuinely hilarious Larry Miller?

I didn't hate this film; it's hard to hate a gentle comic book, but this could have been much more artfully handled. They had Luke Wilson and Jessica Simpson as leads in a movie and nobody saw the possibilities. Shame.

Note to Norwegians: This made Norwegians look like a great deal of fun. Remember, nothing in this movie had anything to do with reality. Enjoy!