Eat Your Heart Out

Jeffrey is a sad sack leading a miserable life just wanting the love of a woman to validate his existence, forced to renting endless hookers in the vain hope of finding something special. Enter Pandora, she seems great in Jeffrey's eyes, (she seems to genuinely dig him and the sex is great) however Pandora has an unfortunate hunger for human flesh, (most of her victim's being pigs or swine and Jeffrey being Jewish, that's not exactly kosher) as well as another vicious hit-man gunning for her.

Although this movie has the zombie/cannibalistic angle, this is more of a surreal off-kilter love story than a horror film, so if you're expecting a horror film look elsewhere. That being said the film isn't half bad for what it is and I enjoyed it for what it was despite it's fair share of flaws (awful gore effects and some sub-standard acting being chief among those)

Eye Candy: Alisha Frank, Erika Smith, Sharon Hawk, Natalie Laspina, and an unknown actress all get topless

My Grade: C+

DVD Extras:A 9 minute behind the scenes featurette; a promo trailer for '6 films to keep you awake'; and trailers for "Midnight Meat train", "Bram Stroker's Dracula's Guest", "Restraint", "Kitchen Priveleges", "Trapped Ashes"

One of the best parts about this movie was the music... when watching at 1am in a dark room by yourself, this music can really bring out the scares. Although it is easy to see the blood as fake, and the movie as shoddily-made, I would have to say that it is one of the scarier movies I have seen. Personally, it did little for me--I really only pay much attention to the base story (something that wasn't ever-present in this movie). While it was a bit of a scare, and gave me pause for sleep, I don't think it was meant as a full horror movie... It rather left me staring at the screen. I wasn't "scared" as such, but the thought of the vile acts done in the movie was the part that "scared" me... The thoughts of it, not actually watching it happen. Still, if you are a fan of low-order horrors, this would work for you. Just remember to be in a dark room... by yourself... at night... or it will be about as interesting as a cereal box.

A man (Jack Dillon) is lonely, oh so lonely. And when he cannot find a friend through the local Jewish singles scene (why they have to be Jewish, as he does not seem to be practicing, I am not sure) he turns to the adult ads to get some women in the other way. One of them, Pandora (Melissa Bacelar) is exactly what he is looking for and he tries to pursue the relationship beyond the customer-prostitute level. But she has a little secret.

I put this DVD in my player and hit play, and was somewhat dismayed by the film quality. Better than home video but not quite professional level, I was afraid that I was in for yet another disaster. Less than five minutes in, however, I changed my mind... when the rocking soundtrack kicked in (presumably performed by Beyond the Shattered Mirror, who also did the score -- this guy (also known as Duane Perry) is amazing). What was lacking in picture quality was made up for in sound quality and I sat back to enjoy the film.

While the plot is simple, it works effectively for what most horror fans are looking for. Blood, more than a fair share of nudity, and some suspense (not only is there a murderer on the loose, but a stalker trying to kill the murderer!). The blood and gore are rather fake, which was a drawback... but here again where the visuals were lacking they found ways to make up for it. "Hey Bob, our blood isn't really that gross." "How about we just let loose with gallons of the stuff, Dave?" "Sounds good."

Melissa Bacelar is a star to be looking out for. While much of the cast is re-used from previous films by the writer and director (and are also in upcoming films), Bacelar seems to be on the edge of breaking into the big time. A Troma veteran -- like Kevin Costner -- she is ready to springboard. Be sure to catch her in this if you want to be the first one on your block to know her name when she's an A-list star.

Overall, the film does not have the greatest draw, hence the mediocre ranking. Time better spent would be listening to an album from Beyond the Shattered Mirror, so I thank this film for turning me on to them. But if you cannot get enough of prostitutes (and a brief lesbian scene) then this is a film to check out if you can find it in your area. It was not perfect, but it had a lot of heart (no pun intended).