Appuntamento con l'amore

I was the classic husband dragged to see this on Valentine's Day weekend as a goodwill gesture. It was every bit as bad as could be possibly imagined. Half of Hollywood's A List star as vacuous stereotypes, moronically obsessed with the holiday in question. This despite the fact they are all living millionaire lifestyles, with perfect tans and the whitest of teeth. It's Love Actually, without a sense of humour or any depth whatsoever. No- one and nothing is remotely realistic - every storyline has a trite and convenient resolution and none is convincing or interesting. There is a perfect and unlikely ratio of ethnicities and sexualities. The sex trade is entirely trivialised and sanitised. No-one stays upset about relationship breakdowns for more than one scene. People break into spontaneous dance sequences in which everyone knows the pre-rehearsed moves but the film doesn't have the conviction to show it for more than 3 seconds... Just utter pointless and patronising bilge...

On the Valentine's Day in Los Angeles, the lives of several dwellers are entwined and affected somehow by love. The florist and owner of the Siena Bouquet Reed Bennett (Ashton Kutcher) proposes his insecure girlfriend Morley Clarkson (Jessica Alba) that says yes to him. His best friend Julia Fitzpatrick (Jennifer Garner) is in love with Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey), but she does not know that he is married and celebrating his fifteenth wedding anniversary with his wife Pamela Copeland (Katherine LaNasa). The bitter TV sports reporter Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx) is assigned by his boss to cover stories of people in love in LA. The phone sex entertainer Liz (Anne Hathaway) hides her profession from her boyfriend Jason (Topher Grace). The grandson of the couple Edgar (Hector Elizondo) and Estelle (Shirley MacLaine), Edison (Bryce Robinson), has a secret unrequited love at school while his grandparents are facing a crisis in their marriage. The executive Holden Wilson (Bradley Cooper) befriends Captain Kate Hazeltine (Julia Roberts) that is eleven months away from home in the fourteen-hour flight back to LA. The contract of the veteran quarterback Sean Jackson (Eric Dane) is not renewed by his team and he schedules an interview to the press with his neurotic publisher Kara Monahan (Jessica Biel) that hates Valentine's Day. The teenagers Alex (Carter Jenkins) and Grace (Emma Roberts) are planning to have sex for the first time. The cheerleader Felicia (Taylor Swift) is in deep love with her boyfriend, the athlete Willy (Taylor Lautner). In the end of the day, revelations will fortify or end loves.

"Valentine's Day" is a sweet movie of director Gary Marshall with a constellation of stars in the cast. The concise screenplay succeeds in developing characters and entwined stories along 125 minutes running time. There are some excellent lines, with jokes (Taylor Lautner telling that he feels uncomfortable taking his shirt off in public is hilarious) and surprises (the revelation of Holden and Kate loves are among the best). I was surprised with the bad reviews in IMDb. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Idas e Vindas do Amor" ("Comings and Goings of the Love")

As a disgruntledly (not a word, shut up) unemployed film critic, I must take drastic measures in concealing my opinion towards a movie you are going to wind up seeing regardless. This time, I have taken my single self to see Valentine's Day, to see if it can measure up to last year's star-sprinkled surprise-surprise hit comedy He's Just Not That into You. I wanted to see that if despite without the lovey-dovey person by my side (which has been a vacant position for a while) the movie can still deliver, entertain, and touch the soul.

Also, I wanted to see if people working at the theater would dedicate a bit of time from their ordinary day to point out that it's strange that I am watching a movie called Valentine's Day by myself. I approached the ticket counter and asked for my ticket. After momentary laughter the man at the counter presented me with my ticket. I then enter through the doors and approach the lady ripping the tickets and sending me in the right direction. After her laughter subdued, she pointed me to theater #1.

Valentine's Day works in the tradition of last year's February romantic success story, and Love Actually, a British dramatic rom-com that jump-started the technique of applying multiple love stories in a film. That way, if one story doesn't work, you have multiple other chances to still enjoy the movie. To spice things up, the movie contains one of the biggest casts of stars since the never-duplicated insanity of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. What other movie can boast the collaboration of Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, and even Shirley MacLaine?

But of course, when you have this many stars, that means so many stories; and less time for character development. This is where the film mostly disappoints, very little developing or changing from anyone associated with the movie. Without revealing too much, there is literally 10 or 11 (lost count) plot lines mixing and intertwining together in a span of just two hours. This equals an average of 12 minutes per story. In actuality however, some stories are actually shorter than others. Katherine Fugate had the right idea when writing the screenplay, but the execution wasn't the best considering that some stories worked and some were just boring to the core. Poor Garry Marshall can only do so much, even though his best days (Pretty Woman, Happy Days) are long gone.

The limited time for acting also diminished the performances of almost every single star in the movie. However, the acting performances of the younger tots (Taylor Swift, Emma Roberts, Taylor Lautner, Carter Jenkins) were much weaker when compared to the veterans Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Shirley MacLaine, and Héctor Elizondo. One other note: Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, and Bradley Cooper are three men that given the little time in this movie delivered swell performances that was undermined only by the writing. Their comic timing kept the movie afloat when the flick was threatening to totally flounder.

Like I said before, some stories worked, and other stories were absolutely dreadful to watch. The high school-based stories in Valentine's Day were the weakest, shortest, and the most pointless. In the meantime, the Anne Hathaway/Topher Grace story and the conflict involving Kutcher, Alba, Jennifer Garner, and Patrick Dempsey were the most entertaining to watch. Nearly all the stories had their share of clichés, with only one of them containing a surprise or two. The chemistry wasn't that intense, because there was no time for it to happen. The dialogue was never allowed to intensify or dwell deeper into the concept of love. A few good one-liners here and there, but nothing really worth remembering.

Bottom Line: The problem with Valentine's Day is very simple: we've seen it before and after 2009 being such a good year for romantic comedies, the expectations are higher. It takes more than just a bunch of big stars to propel a rom-com to quality heights; you need strong writing, good chemistry, strong direction, and a hintage of unpredictability. That's how The Proposal, He's Just Not That Into You, The Ugly Truth, and especially (500) Days of Summer made 2009 one of the greatest years for romance in a long time. This was also the issue with Couple's Retreat, the last blockbuster romantic comedy of 09. Valentine's Day has its moments indeed (Anne Hathaway is hilarious), but don't expect it to be anything better than mediocre. Simply there were too many stories and most of them with less depth than a puddle.

And none of this criticism has to do with the fact that I saw the movie by myself.

Honestly.

Throw a bunch of famous actors in and you'll get a great movie right? Wrong.

Director: I want big names in my movie. Assistant: Which ones? Director: Yes.

Oh dear, oh dear. This 2010 effort by the Americans to emulate the formula and the success of the British 2003 "Love Actually" produces a confused and limp offering. It must have looked such a great idea when pitched to the studio: a huge cast of stars, multiple story lines with cross connections, different takes on romance, lots of songs about love, and - even better than the Anglo film they would claim - Los Angeles (instead of London) and Valentine's Day (instead of Christmas).

But it just doesn't work and only underlines how subtle and clever was the original version. There are just too many relationships going on with too much confusion in the tales and, above all, a really weak and saccharine script from Katherine Fugate.

The best performance comes from Anne Hathaway but, if you just want to spot the stars, there's plenty on show including Ashton Kutcher and Jamie Foxx, Julia Roberts and Jennifer Gardner, Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine. That's right, someone for guys and gals, young and old, white and ethnic, straight and gay. Except for a couple of nice little twists at the end, it is all so formulaic and predictable - and a little moralistic.