- Tyler: Who are you, Sydney White? You throw a football like Matt Leinart, fearlessly conquer fraternity bathrooms, and clean up nice to boot.
- Sydney White: Well, I'm more of a Peyton Manning. Leinart's a lefty.
- Tyler: Marry me.
- Rachel Witchburn: [to Dinky] Dinky, we're over there.
- [to Sydney]
- Rachel Witchburn: Hi, Sydney. Nice to find some people you fit in with.
- Sydney White: It is nice, isn't it? If only there were a place where a superficial, materialistic bitch could fit in. Oh wait, there is.
- Gurkin: [updating his blog] Does anyone know another word for "douchebaggery"? I don't want to use it a third time.
- Gurkin: [to Tyler about his date with Sydney] If you try any funny stuff, I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states... and Canada.
- Amy: Hey Rachel. Check it out. My diet's working. I lost five pounds!
- Rachel Witchburn: [looks at Amy's butt as she walks away] I think your ass found it.
- Sororitiy Sisters: Here comes the Kappa, Queen of the row. She's hot, She's cool, She ain't no ho. She's got style, She's got class.
- Rachel Witchburn: Gucci...
- Sororitiy Sisters: And from behind a kicking...
- Rachel Witchburn: Prada...
- [the sorority girls slap their butts, and she yells out in exhilaration]
- Lenny: Did they really make you sing Celine Dion?
- Sydney White: Yeah.
- Lenny: Do you need a place to stay?
- Tyler: The Kappa's are our sorority sisters.
- Sydney White: Oh! So we'll be like brother and sister?
- [Tyler gives her a weird look]
- Sydney White: Oh, not in the related, familiar way, but more the fraternal-sororal, sororital... is that a word? Okay.
- Sydney White: If it makes you feel any better they threw bologna at us while we sang Celine Dion songs!
- Demetria Rosemead 'Dinky' Hotchkiss: I wish we had the same size feet.
- Sydney White: It is fine. Isn't it part of this whole sisterhood thing that they like you for who you are?
- Demetria Rosemead 'Dinky' Hotchkiss: Sure.
- Sydney White: [Frisbee lands between dorks, all jump and move away] Go on. Pick it up and throw it on back.
- Rachel Witchburn: [George picks up Frisbee, throws off screen]
- [Hits Rachel in the head]
- Rachel Witchburn: Ow!
- Sydney White: Heads up!
- Rachel Witchburn: Sydney, what are the Kappa colors?
- Sydney White: Green and white.
- Rachel Witchburn: Wrong. Emerald and pearl.
- Sydney White: Sorry, I'm still learning to speak priss.
- Lenny: You may find this hard to believe, but most of the guys here don't have a lot of experience with girls.
- [staring at a drying sports bra]
- Spanky: Dudes... that thing has touched boobs.
- Terrence Lubinecki: Of course. The sturdy, breathable fabric is designed to maintain mammary elasticity.
- Spanky: Shut up, Terrence. You're ruining the moment for me.
- Lenny: So, uh, are you all set? Do you need anything? A hypoallergenic pillow? Humidifier? Dehumidifier? Ionizer?
- Sydney White: Nope, I think I'm all goon on the medical-supply front. I've actually got
- Lenny: Are you sure? There's a lot of dust. I've got loads of allergy medicine.
- Sydney White: You? Allergies? I never would have guessed.
- Katy: Well, boys, there's seven of us and seven of you. What's that sound like to you?
- Terrence Lubinecki: 14.
- Katy: Sounds like a party to me.
- Lenny: You're probably tired.
- Sydney White: Well, yeah, public humiliation can be pretty tiring.
- Lenny: Yeah, I know.
- Paul White: I know that you have a scholarship to keep up with, but you gotta promise us all that you're gonna raise a little hell every now and then!
- [work buddies all cheer]
- Sydney White: Don't worry, Dad, I'll smile for my mugshot.