Agent Crush

Agent Crush is a spy spoof featuring a robot secret agent out to stop a flatulent supervillain from destroying the world, in a story told through the magic of SuperMarionation!

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, SuperMarionation was a process created by British TV producer Gerry Anderson (The Thunderbirds; Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons) for many of his series aimed at children. They combined puppet characters equipped with electronic mouth controls with intricate mechanical special effects and miniature works. Agent Crush's puppets don't quite have the aesthetic appeal of Anderson's (to be honest, most of them are pretty ugly), but that's part of the charm of this quirky movie.

Crush is an android security agent who is more Maxwell Smart than James Bond - not that he's aware of it. His many screw-ups lead to the world security agency that commissioned him to order his destruction. But he is saved from "death" by a freak blackout engineered by his nemesis, Boris Goudphater (pronounced "Good-Farter") and gets a second chance to prove himself. With the help of the kindly scientist who created him and the scientist's gung-ho daughter, he saves the world and ends the threat of Goudphater.

Pretty standard stuff, but the story is elevated by the adult humor (although there's nothing on the gross-out level of the similarly themed Team America: World Police) and over-the-top voice acting.

Ioan Gruffudd (who played Reed Richards in two Fantastic Four movies) plays a deadpan, emotionally-stunted Agent Crush who manages a lot of subtlety with restrained inflection. Goudphater is played by the master of bombast himself BRIAN BLESSED (yes, you must spell it with all capitals). Brian Cox plays the scientist Dr. Spanner with Neve Campbell as his daughter. Danny Glover chews the scenery to Gary Busey levels as a crazed army major who wants to see Crush recycled. And former James Bond, Roger Moore, plays the head of the world security agency.

That this is an homage to Gerry Anderson is obvious from the moment you see the sign for "Meddings Junkyard. (Derek Meddings was Anderson's long-time special effects master, who later won two Academy Awards for his effects work, including one for Moonraker.) Crazy cool vehicles (an Anderson hallmark) from cars to spacecraft, abound in this movie and the action pieces are built around them.

The budgetary restrictions are visible in locations - mostly in multiple re-used effects shots in the climactic chase scene, and some of the voicework could have used a little re-tooling, but the movie is fun and entertaining, especially if you were a fan of what inspired it.

I remember in about 2006 turning on the television and it happened to be Blue Peter that was on. I saw a female doll and the words "Agent Crush will be released September 2008".

I remember feeling low key interested in that this time round it was puppets but there was something about hearing the words "Agent Crush".

That is just such bad title. That was what stayed with me at that time. It is so unintriguing...

So years went by and something must have brought it back to mind and I'm there thinking "wait...did I dream that?"

So I caught this online. This viewing was very long awaited.

The trivia section insists that it was withheld from release for "unknown reasons".

It's easy to see the reason: it's just not that good.

Art is subjective and there are a lot of shoddy attempts at a "family movie" that become guilty pleasures or make money and maybe this might have turned a small profit but despite some positive things in there: this is kind of embarrassing.

OK, let's start with some positives.

It's all technically impressive. Puppetry is always hard and the engineering, artisanship and puppeteering skills needed for this were probably impressive. They realize a whole miniature world.

I am able to feel something for Crush: this robotic simulacrum of the idealized spy. Suave, debonaire, handsome in that large jaw line way... and then he discovers that he is just a machine...

This could have been a very poignant and at times dark rumination on the romanticization of espionage but it really stops short before it can really do anything with its own substance.

There's something...drab about this whole movie. It's a flurry of browns and grays and white. It's not the futuristic sheen of a laboratory or compound, this movie just conveys the vibe of an office building/warehouse.

The puppets themselves...like I said, I want to acknowledge the talent but they are not easy to look at. Some of them are supposed to look grotesque because they're villains. The puppets cannot facially emote and once in a while one becomes painfully aware that they are unable to just stand up and walk away.

All this could have been pretty quaint in a pedestrian kind of way but then there's the plot.

In a way that is hard to explain, this doesn't feel like a movie; it feels like a long episode of some forgotten children's show. The plot beats that might have made have made this feel like someone's transformative journey just aren't there; it's mostly this one rescue mission.

Too much running time is taken up by odious military types and villains. This movie thinks it's vaguely satirical by making our leaders seem like buffoons but it's just annoying.

I can empathize that one of the most villainous things a villain can do is be unapologetically flatulent but this movie is ultimately the lowest possible denominator.

I can't remember her name but that female puppet played by Neve...something... She really adds something. In terms of plot she's just one extra person for the older guy to talk to back at base but I like her. I like her moxy, she's there also to be the cheerleader character to have faith in the protagonist when he doesn't have any in himself.

I wish she could have been fleshed out more. I can believe she's been let down by real people and identifies more with machines and especially Crush since he is somebody's fantasy realized. I can infer this already from what little we saw so it's a pity.

I can feel in fits and starts a movie with heart but overall, this isn't a dopey movie that has an ineffable charm, it feels cobbled together in a desperate rush to meat a deadline by people who really didn't know what they were doing.

An amusing tongue in cheek production suitable for all ages. The model making animatronics and special effects are so incredible that you can easily ignore any deficiencies of plot and dialogue! Watch it to the end of the credits to be truly amazed.