New York, I Love You

This is an amalgamation of twelve short films about the way life in New York City.

"New York, I Love You" is a collection of short films directed by twelve people, fused together without introduction or gaps. As a result, stories jump from one place to another incoherently. Some shorts are interesting and entertaining, like the one about a thief in the café. Some shorts are technically well made, like the one in the bright hotel room (but the contents of which is incomprehensible). Some of the shorts are quite boring and even pointless, such as the one involving the works of the Russian literary giant.

I say "New York, I Love You" is misleadingly titled because most shorts are not about love, the only one that is really about love is the one with the elderly couple. Most other shorts are about brief flirtatious encounters or carnal attraction. In addition, all the shorts are not location specific. They could have been set in any city in the world without affecting the storyline. I do not see any scene that strikes me as "This is so New York" or "This can only happen in New York".

In summary, "New York, I Love You" lacks coherence and engaging themes. Despite the great ensemble cast, the result is disappointing.

Although my title might sound like a jab, I mean it literally. If you like movies where nothing happens, "New York, I Love You" is a good one to catch.

So if nothing happens, what's it all about? Well, here we have 10 slice-of-life vignettes of people living in New York City focusing on interpersonal relationships, character drama, and in almost every story some sort of quirky ironic twist.

In a few cases the ironic twist is enough to make you say to yourself, "Aha! Good one." Segments in this category include a segment starring Robin Wright & Chris Cooper about a woman & man who meet on the street flirting with the idea of anonymous sex, or in the segment starring Olivia Thirlby, James Caan & Anton Yelchin about a boy who goes to the prom with a girl in a wheelchair, or the opening segment starring Hayden Christensen & Andy Garcia about a petty thief who meets his match. Or an impressive directing debut from Natalie Portman about a man who takes a young girl to the park for a day. Each of these may seem light on story, but there's a nice twist to each.

Other segments are a little less twisty in plot, but they make up for it with charming characters or quirky conversations, like the segment with Ethan Hawke using every line in the book to pick up a mysterious woman, or the segment starring the screen legends Eli Wallach ("The Good, the Bad and the Ugly") & Cloris Leechman ("Frau Blucher!" in Young Frankenstein) about an elderly couple who go to Coney Island for the day.

And then there's the segment starring Julie Christie as a lonely, retired opera singer who checks into an ancient hotel for a night. That segment stands out for its haunting style and quiet desperation.

"New York, I Love You" is the American version of "Paris je t'aime" released two years earlier, each film featuring a series of shorts highlighting the human love affair with an iconic city. Oddly enough, "New York" features all but 2 directors who were born outside America (including Natalie Portman--did you know she was born in Israel?), so there is a very culturally diverse vibe. This ain't no "Friends" centered around young professional caucasians. It often digs deep into the ethnic perspective with characters who are Jewish (Hacidic), Hindu (Jain...although he points out that Jains are not Hindu because Hinduism is too materialistic haha), Chinese, Iranian, British, and a few I couldn't figure out.

My only real gripe with this film is that it seemed uneven at times, with the directing styles and stories often shifting gears so abruptly, and without any signals to let you know the prior story had ended and we're on to the next, that you can easily get disoriented. Transitions with characters' paths criss-crossing were inserted to make it more of a cohesive whole, but I think the opposite effect happened. I might've liked it better if the stories were kept very separate, like in the excellent "Tokyo!" featuring 3 very different stories from very different directors. But as far as short film compilations go, "New York, I Love You" is a good solid package that should tickle your nostalgia bone whether or not you hail from the Big Apple.

I can't end without mentioning my favorite film in this genre, "Coffee & Cigarettes" by Jim Jarmusch, featuring 11 short films set in Coffee Shops around the world. If you like this sort of thing, definitely check that one out.

The great thing about 'Paris, je t'aime' was the diversity of the shorts that went to making up the film; first you'd have a drama then a comedy then a thriller, each director had their own unique style and if there was one you didn't like it didn't matter as it was soon on to the next one, unfortunately this doesn't happen in 'New York, I Love You' the same concept applied to another major city. Here the shorts are loosely tied together by reoccurring characters from the stories which may have been done on purpose for the flow but it does make the distinction between them hard. Considering that New York is such a diverse city it is surprising that it isn't explored more here and a lot of the shorts fall into the same kind of categories. My only real criticism with the film is for something that's called 'New York, I Love You' it's all just so depressing each tale has an element of real sadness to it, which is not necessarily a bad thing, it gives the film depth but just don't go excepting to leave uplifted. My favourite was the piece written by the late Anthony Minghella which was not only moving but proved something I never thought I'd see Shia LaBeouf actually acting. So overall it's a mixed bag worth seeing but nowhere near as good as its Paris counterpart.

A dozen stories. Ten filmmakers. 103 minutes. If you do the math, you will draw the same conclusion I did - that there isn't much time for a viewer to make an emotional connection with every episode presented in this all-star 2009 omnibus tribute to New York. An eclectic group of global filmmakers, some well-known, others on the verge, had to meet certain requirements to make the final cut - they were given only 24 hours to shoot, a week to edit, and the result had to reflect a strong sense of a particular NYC neighborhood. The cumulative effect makes for a moody portrait of the city through various couplings, but due to the contrivance of its structure, the film falls short in bringing a deeper emotional resonance to the themes the creators want to convey.

With a couple of key exceptions, the film appears to be more of a valentine to Lower Manhattan. Consequently, there is a fashionably edgy look to the short stories. Israeli-born French director Yvan Attal epitomizes this feeling in two episodes. The first deals with an aggressively talkative writer (an irritating Ethan Hawke) throwing a barrage of romantic and sexual overtures at a sleek Asian woman who appears to have heard it all (Maggie Q). The other is marginally better, focusing on a chance conversation outside a restaurant between a woman taking a cigarette break (an effortlessly sexy Robin Wright Penn) and a man intrigued by her emotional availability (Chris Cooper). Both have O. Henry-type twist endings that make them ultimately entertaining.

A couple of other entries feel more gimmicky by comparison. Brett Ratner's mostly comic entry features Anton Yelchin as a naïve high-school student and Olivia Thirlby as his unexpected prom date with James Caan as her pushy pharmacist father. Mira Nair directed a flat culture-clash encounter between two savvy souls - a Hassid woman about to marry (Natalie Portman) and a Jain diamond dealer (Irrfan Khan) - who become mutually intrigued by their price negotiation meeting. Other episodes feel even more cursory. Portman wrote and directed a brief episode focused on an ebullient toddler (Taylor Geare) and her father (Carlos Acosta) having fun together in Central Park, highlighted by a brief dance performance from Acosta at the end (he is a Cuban-born principal dancer for the Royal Ballet). Chinese director Jiang Wen led Hayden Christensen, Andy Garcia and Rachel Bilson on an empty roundelay of deception and humiliation among thieves at a bar.

Japanese director Shunji Iwai was at the helm of a slight episode featuring Orlando Bloom as a frantic musician working against deadline, while Turkish director Faith Akin shares a brief story of obsession with Uğur Yücel as a solitary artist who wants to paint the face of a local Chinese herbalist (Shu Qi). The entry from Allen Hughes (of the Hughes Brothers) consists mostly of a continuing voice-over of two regretful lovers (Bradley Cooper, Drea de Matteo) hesitant to follow up on their passionate one-night stand. The oddest, most dispiriting entry comes from Shekhar Kapur who directed a script from the late Anthony Minghella (to whom the film is dedicated). It stars Julie Christie as a guest returning to a posh Fifth Avenue hotel where she bonds with a palsied, Slovak-accented bellboy played by an overly sensitive Shia LaBeouf. The nature of their relationship is never really divulged, but it ends on a surreal note of little consequence.

Directed and written by Joshua Marston, the best episode is perhaps the least ambitious as it features Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman as an aged, bickering couple on their way to the boardwalk in Coney Island for their 63rd anniversary. The reassuring way she places her head on his shoulder is easily the most touching moment in the film. All in all, this stylish hodgepodge will appeal mostly to those who are drawn to the short story format. Benoît Debie's sharp cinematography at least brings a consistent sheen to the film as it tethers the various story lines to a New York that feels mired in a cinematic fantasy. I just think Woody Allen's "Manhattan" executes on the same approach far more effectively. The extras on the 2010 DVD include a handful of additional scenes (though not the two deleted segments directed by Scarlett Johansson and Andrei Zvyagintsev), interviews with five of the directors and the original theatrical trailer.

A few years ago Paris je t'aime, or Paris, I Love You came out featuring some amazing talents like the Coen brothers, Alfonso Cuaron, Gus Van Sant, and Alexander Payne. It consisted of 20 very short films, each with their own unique style and storyline, only they all shared the same setting of Paris. Three years later, another group of filmmakers and writers, including the late, great Anthony Minghella, decided to make a film consisting of short vignettes called New York, I Love You.

The idea is nice. It's endearing how a group of people can come together and present several different stories about a place that they love.

(Pause for nice, smiling moment)

Okay, back to the film. Now that we can agree that this is a nice idea, I think it's time to get serious. Much like Paris je t'aime, there are parts of this film that are nice. Still, overall I can't help but disagree with the construction of this film. I thought the stories were clever, but if I liked the story I didn't like the acting, or if I liked the acting, the directing was off. It was a never-ending stream of likes and dislikes.

There are some interesting segments. Brett Ratner's segment about a teenager trying to go to prom is clever and entertaining, starring Anton Yelchin, Olivia Thirlby, and James Caan. I thought Caan gave the most honest performance in the whole film. He had the look and most of all the sound of a New Yorker. I was even impressed with Natalie Portman's segment which follows a man looking after a young girl in Central Park.

There was nothing that blew me away like some of the parts of Paris, je t'aime. There was nothing here that made me say, "Wow!" For a film like this nice just doesn't cut it. I can forgive a few bad shorts for one or two really good ones. At least I can take something away from the film. I all took away from this were the various settings that New York City has to offer.

Making a compilation film is risky. One bad egg can spoil the rest, or in this case a lot of mediocre eggs can make for a bland film. New York, I Love You has a lot of potential, but doesn't pull it off.