Bratz

Ugh. The first words that came out of my mouth when I found out my friend's sister wanted to see this for her birthday. First off, I have never bothered to play with Bratz dolls once in my life, nor will I ever. This movie has got to have some of the worst dialog in a movie ever. (Note to script writers: If you really have to put "OMG" as an actual spoken line, then I think it's time to rethink your career) After this monstrosity finally ended, I looked to my friend and we looked to her sister, who then informed us that the movie was horrible. In the words of the Bratz Girls: "Like OMG! No way!" Seriously, if you want to ruin someone's birthday, then I recommend Bratz: The Movie.

Let me be clear here first of all: I'm in my twenties, and I saw Bratz, but not for any kind of simple lewd intentions at gawking at sexy teens in gobs of make-up and slutty clothes. My intentions were a little more pure, on a movie-geek level. Or rather, I went in with the expectation that it *would* be a bad movie, and even one that would go to such ridiculous lengths as to be awesomely bad, to the level of something like Ghost Rider, where taking it seriously would provide brain damage, and by not would give some form of entertainment (especially if you have friends to make jokes with during the movie, which for something like Bratz isn't inappropriate to 'ruin' for the rest of the audience). It's a staggering, warped view of high school life, the connections made in 'cliques' and social order, and about the bonding between girls who can't get enough of talking to each other through their web-cams. It also has enough montages to kill a few horses, Jon Voight with not only a prosthetic nose but a statue of his head with the same fake nose, a fluffy dog who gets beauty treatment along with her owner, a mariachi band that lives at the house of the Hispanic girl of the Bratz (and, for some reason, this doesn't seem too out of place, especially when they show up at talent shows), and...Jesus, did I mention the montages?

But for all of this, if one is in the right frame of mind, it's hilarious, even achingly and hysterically, funny material, whether it was intentional or not. Frankly, I'm sure that the filmmakers didn't quite know what they were doing outside of making a big long commercial with the intellectual value of Tropicana fruit punch. But on those levels it almost works at times at looking like an unintentional satire; what is one to make of the symbolism of the heightened security at the high school envisioned by the school emblem and trophies: a hand holding an ax, with little figures holding the axes all over the school in one form or another? It also makes for some ample absurd moments when just seeing the four Bratz having a fight amongst themselves about sticking together or going off into their other interests (naturally, they have only one aptitude a piece, one soccer, one cheer-leading, one science, and one journalism/singing), and as well the diabolical attempts to thwart all of their fun by the nasty, less than one-note daughter of the principle, who goes for a 2nd super sweet sixteen party even after she's turned 16.

Maybe if you're already quite a young girl, seeing this movie might not matter too much in the grand scheme of things as far as real psychological impact. But at the same time if one were to look objectively, Bratz's message is a little scrambled and quite off in any positive aspect. Does one stick with friends or act individualist or, um, like, go into another clique or another table? How about staying fashionable, in the glammed up style that the girls go to lengths to do- leading up to, of course, the Bratz mobile that they walk out of to the climactic talent show- even in the face of peril? It really doesn't serve any artistic integral purpose whatsoever either. So, in the end, it works best as a so-bad-it's-still-bad-but-uproarious treat for those who gorge on works that slip by in pop culture that are so sapped with the vigor of commercialism that to read through the mixed messages would take a pot of coffee and a fine-toothed comb. But along the way, it's got montages, and songs, LOTS of songs- which are, as one might imagine who doesn't listen to Radio Disney, the worst trash possible right now. Brattitude!!

I was just reading some comment before i decided to make my own, this guy honestly believes this film deserves a 10/10 rating. Yes that's right, according to this guy the film Bratz is a perfect masterpiece with impeccable acting, dialogue and story, backed up by Oscar worthy directing and screenplay. At least that's what a film with a 10/10 rating should be. Bratz is not. This is possibly the *worst* film i have ever seen. This film does not even deserve a 1/10 it is that bad. Im not trying to spite this film, i am honestly speaking my feelings for this film here, i have never felt more insulted, never have i cringed so much in a film and i actually felt embarrassed by some of the scenes i have had the misfortune of watching.

Stay away from this film at all costs. It will scar your brain forever.

Aaaaaaauuuugh!!!! This movie was so awful it makes me wish I had been struck blind and deaf as a child! I watched it with 2 friends, to try for an MST3K style viewing but.... it doesn't work!!! One of my friends became very still, and started attracting flies halfway through the film, and another one became temporarily quadriplegic from watching this! I'm 20... I haven't cried for any reason since I was 12, and this movie brought me to tears. Not from laughter, not sadness... it was SO bad, I had no emotions that could be connected to this film, and I just started crying because nothing else quite fit. If these people tried to perform like this two thousand years ago, they would have been stoned to death. The acting was so terrible, I think I lost my faith in mankind. The materialism in this movie was so... I can't even think of an adequate adjective to describe it... No wonder there are countries that want to see our way of life crumble... after seeing this movie, I almost agree with them. The MST3K guys would be speechless, watching this. It's so awful, no one could possibly lampoon this movie. It's too terrible to properly mock and satirize. I feel really terrible for the companies that sponsored this. They really lost out on this investment. The attempts at throwing in messages about individualism and inner strength would have worked, if there hadn't been the "be yourself, but dress fashionably to be accepted" message splayed across this film like roadkill. It's a good thing I didn't have any forks, or acetylene torches nearby... or I would have tried to stab/burn my brain out. I seriously considered gnawing my own leg off several times, to escape watching this film. I actually lost the ability to breathe after about 40 minutes of this film... I eventually remembered how, but it took a while. Not good... My roommate has completely lost his mind... he asks questions like, if Darth Vader showed up at our door, should we hang out with him, and some remarks about hollowed out breasts and orange juice... he's completely lost his mind.

Don't watch this movie if you value your sanity!!!

I genuinely think it's a good movie, it's got a below average plot and the acting is from about E-list actors, but there's something really nice about it, it's really quite nostalgic for me and the fact I could relate with this when I was younger, idk but generally it's really appealing and although it's got shitty reviews, it's on Netflix and Lovefilm, won't cost you any extra but I do recommend it. The film in itself is about 4 girls who are completely different however, they still have a close bond, but as they go through school they get split apart by the things they like and within two years, they've almost forgotten each other. They vow to change however it's difficult and that's all I'm really gonna say, it's pretty corny but it's not bad once every so often, eh?