Stranded

This is probably the most awful movie I ever was forced to sit through. I kept waiting for something to happen that was real. But not one moment came and went. Not one. Maybe a few from Carlos Ponce, the detective, but he had almost a cameo role. As for the six bimbos stranded as they say on the island, not one could act their way out of a sand pit. Running around in skimpy bikinis (that ought to sell tickets) and constantly screaming so much you wished they would be wiped out. Just to stop that insane screeching. Making their faces tormented (acting?) and running around going nowhere. I had to mute the sound on the TV set just to cut their shrill voices. Especially the big blond with the big boobs. She drove me crazy. Erica Durance, Brienne De Beau, Michelle Jones, Jessica Lauren, Vane Mellon, Ashley Totin were the babes. Not one can act. Good looking Jack Hartnett (director and writer) played the guy on the rescue mission. Unfortunately, he doesn't last too long.

Where do they get these bimbos for movies? Certainly not from auditions. Or the director was smitten by boobs and bikinis. Because he didn't get one performance from any of them. And, come on, after a while you get tired of looking at bouncing boobs. I can rent a porno for that and get better results with more satisfaction.

I am still shell shocked, after watching this shameful waste of a beautiful island. I watched it from beginning to end as I seriously thought it was a joke, and was waiting for the big 'reveal', but it never came.

Looking through the credits and at all of those involved, amazes me how they all got paid for this embarrassment.

The acting (and I use that word with hesitation), was non-existent.

I can't even try to be witty, as my head is still spinning in disbelief.

I wonder what has happened to the cast ? Can't say that I have seen any of them on the big screen. My advice to all of them is to leave this movie off their CV's. It will do nothing for their careers.

Though flawed in several ways, especially in the acting department, this made-for-TV flick does deliver mystery and chills. The film begins as if it were a night-time extension of the "The View," where Barbara Walters and a coterie of similar minds sit around exchanging so-called women ideas in meaningless chitchat. The viewer is anxious for the slashing to begin to eliminate these boring, inane persons, the motive for the killings being bad acting. Then director Kern Konwiser gets the show moving to become entertaining, worthwhile escapist fare.

The plot provides plenty of mystery and intrigue. It seems five attractive young women, really six but one stays behind for business reasons, are on vacation in the Caribbean. One is about to become a bride so her pals wish to treat her to an exciting getaway. As much as the women love men it is somewhat of a puzzle why they want to get away from it all and spend one day on a deserted island. But indeed they do. A rather scroungy, rude "captain" of a rather tattered boat who speaks only Spanish takes them to the isolated island with orders to return for them at the end of the day. Guess what? No show. The five damsels in distress must now fend for themselves until someone comes to their rescue. But who? No one knows where they have gone except the questionable "captain" who has now disappeared. Gradually, they discover they are not alone. Then one by one the women begin to disappear, reminding one of Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None," beginning with five instead of ten. Fortunately, for those left wandering on the island, the sixth pal gets free from her business endeavor, flies to join them, then attempts to seek them out when she finds them missing.

Just when the viewer thinks he/she has figured out the mystery, a new element of suspense is introduced. There are clues given from the beginning so it is possible to unravel the mystery as the show progresses but it requires the viewer to pay close attention to details. Not of Agatha Christie stature; still not bad for a TV movie.

Where the film ultimately falters is in the acting department which is amateurish at best. The top performance is by Carlos Ponce who in reality has only a bit part as Chief Inspector Raddimus; yet he heads the cast, which says a lot about the others, most of whom are newcomers to the medium.

Insufferably bad made-for-TV thriller that tries to be a slasher movie without gore, nudity, atmosphere, or anything resembling quality production values. The script is full of exposition and clichés. The acting is pedestrian. The only person in the cast I recognize is the star, Erica Durance. Everyone else could've just stepped off the Greyhound bus the first day of filming for all I know. Anyway the plot has Erica getting married so she has a bachelorette party with her bridesmaids on a secluded Caribbean island. Because that's a thing someone would do. When the boat they chartered doesn't return to pick them up they realize they are stranded (cue dramatic music). Soon the girls start to disappear one by one. The question isn't who, how, or why but do you really care? I know I didn't. I like Erica Durance from Smallville and it was nice to see her in something else since she hasn't done much besides that. She's very attractive (especially in her bikini) and tries her able best to breathe life into the dead script. Seriously, watch how she tries to bring some energy to things while the other actresses just recite their lines in the most monotonous way possible. And they drone on and on and on because they have so many lines of pointless dialogue that add nothing to the movie. So I give Erica points for that but, to be fair, she's a limited actress and that really shows in the final act when things get intense (or this movie's impersonation of intense). What we're left with is a complete dud that only die-hard fans of Erica will be willing to suffer through. Talky, boring, predictable, and bland.

The plot could have been interesting--even suspenseful--if the script had been better and it had been executed by a cast that could actually act.

As is, the movie is so cheesy and the acting so atrocious that you cannot help but watch just to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. Of course, there is also "eye-candy" to distract people from how utterly and horribly insipid the movie is as a whole.

I actually find it shocking that any of the cast managed to make acting their career. Hopefully, they took some acting lessons along the way.

I will say that the location/setting was quite lovely. In the hands of a more capable screenwriter and far better actors, the premise of this movie would make a good film worthy of the term "suspense."