Botched - Paura e delirio a Mosca

So, after i-don't-know-how-many years of being a reader of IMDb, after having seen this... film, i just felt compelled to comment for the first time. It's a sorry mess. And i mean really a mess. Not a single thing works in it, not one. I didn't feel interested at any time. Didn't smile for once. Didn't feel a thing, if it was not just amazed at the sheer stupidity of it all. It starts in France, where the french speak French, and moves to Russia where, in all logic, the Russian speak English between each other... with a Russian accent. It starts off with some jewelery robbery, and proceeds to a bad, bad slasher comedy. As i said, nothing works. Everybody's brain dead, the logic is thrown down the Russian drain, and it just drags on like the dummy rats that it showcases as the summum of special effects. What saddens me most is the evident budget that could have been used for someone with a minimum of talent to make a film worthy of existence. It was not even bad in a good way, just downright lame. The only worthy mention (with my appreciation that is) was the rather exotic looking Jaime Murray, with no more skin showed than her pretty face. That is to say how much i searched for an escape...

Amazing stuff. That it got made at all, that is.

While escaping from a successful heist of diamonds in an auction house for the Russian mobster lord Mr. Groznyi (Sean Pertwee), the driver of the runaway car crashes a wall and only the thief Ritchie Donovan (Stephen Dorff) survives. He runs with the wallet full of diamonds, but he is hit by a car and loses the stones on the street. The upset Mr. Groznyi sends Ritchie to Moscow to compensate his mistake and steal an ancient and valuable cross in the penthouse of a building with the clumsy Russian brothers Peter (Jamie Foreman) and Yuri (Russell Smith). However the plan goes wrong and Ritchie and his partners take a group of passengers from the elevator as hostage to the 13th floor. They negotiate with the police, but when they release the first hostage in good faith, they discover that their negotiator is not from the police but an evil serial-killer, beginning their night of terror trapped on the floor.

The gore "Botched" is an entertaining and forgettable dark comedy. The weird story has funny and silly moments, but something is missing to make "Botched" a cult-movie or at least a great movie. The jokes do not work well and it is strange to see the bizarre "Russian" characters speaking in English. The daughter of Billy Murray, Jaime Murray, is extremely sexy in the role of the executive Anna and shows a great chemistry with Stephen Dorff. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "13o Andar" ("!3th Floor")

I too saw this last night at the Fantasy Film fest in Berlin where it had its world premiere. I hadn't seen any previews for it and almost didn't go. At the last minute, I changed my mind and grabbed a ticket.

I'm so glad I did!

The first 20 minutes, I thought oh lord, this is going to be terrible. On the contrary, this 20 minutes established the plot line and the first few characters personality and allowed us to figure out who was "serious" and "normal" and who were the slapstick artists playing off the deadpan. Once established, this cheaply made movie was quite simply a laugh riot for those who have a morbid sense of humor and enjoy creative torture methods.

The description in the film fest magazine really says it all: "And you thought you were unlucky? - During a heist in Russia, a professional thief (Dorff) finds himself dealing with twin serial killers, insane hostages, double-crossing psycho Russian hard-men and the real possibility of a horrible death."

By the end, the audience was laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes. It was gruesome, gory, campy and funny. It's one I'm buying when it comes out on video - because it fits my morbid humor quite well.

~Rose

i don't understand the fuss that people who disliked this movie are making. it is definitely NOT a waste of time if you take it for what it is - simple entertainment in the b to c movie category. the story is linear and leaves place for 90 minutes of hilarious slapstick-gore. the acting wasn't great, but not that bad, either, some of the actors are familiar from movies like blade, layer cake or dog soldiers. the music actually was really nice, with some cliché-Russian polka songs running along the funny chasing scenes. i'm pretty sure the b movie feeling is fully intended, for there are enough people that actually cherish this kind of movie.

altogether, if you don't mind simple down-to-earth entertainment with a little gore once in a while, you might risk watching the movie. otherwise leave it.

Good thing I have nothing against gore in movies. Because of that I had way more fun than I imagined when I rented this movie. It's completely hilarious, from beginning to the end. The overdone Russian accent without anybody ever speaking Russian through the whole movie, the weird characters and the twisted story add up nicely to a movie about one day in the life of one guy that just went completely wrong in every way you could imagine. I half expected a crappy ending to that story, but it fits nicely and left me with a satisfied grin on my face. However: If you can't stomach some gore, cheesy lines and over-the-top acting, then this movie is not for you.