Citazioni

Epic Movie

Modifica

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle.
[she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: White Castle? I feel like I've been there before.

Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!
Willy: That's actually the sewer line.

[as the White Queen pulls up in her turbo sled]
Edward: Whoa, Stifler's mom!

Susan: [Lucy is cleaning doorknob] What are you doing?
Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
Susan: Dumbass.

Edward: [in his old age] Chuck Norris rules.

Lucy: [Reading a hidden message on a painting] "So lame the hair of Tom"
[Looks toward a painting a Tom Hanks with his long hair in "The Da Vinci Code"]
Lucy: Wait. "Lame." "Lame" is a - "Lame" is a seven-letter word.

[Peter removes his jacket and wing straps]
Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers!
Storm: He's gonna spread angel wings!
[Peter clucks like a chicken and turns around showing his small-sized wings on his back]
Mystique: More like chicken wings!
Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.

Peter: Badonkadonk.

Lucy: Holy shit, a talking beaver!

Willy: Who wants to play with Willy?

White Bitch: [holding crystal] Let's start things off with a bang, shall we?
Edward: But you'll kill millions.
White Bitch: Billions. Come on. Let me hear you say it.
Edward: My family will stop you!
White Bitch: WRONG!

Peter: Tomorrow we fight. So tonight... we party!

Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.

Silas: [to White Bitch, in subtitles] Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! Allegedly.

Bink: [stabs Edward] Take that, Kumar!

Silas: [to Aslo] I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia! Peter the Heroic. Susan the Just. Edward the Loyal. And Lucy the Dumb Shit.

Peter: [while urinating in the snow] Look! Nicole Richie!
[camera shows a stick figure with hair]

[last lines]
Borat: Jagshemash! You did it! You make moviefilm have happy ending.
[Captain Jack Swallows comes on his wheel and runs Lucy, Peter, Susan and Edward over]
Borat: NOT!

Nacho Libre: NACHO... cheese Doritos are delicious!

White Bitch: God, I hate those fuckin' kids

Peter: [From unrated version]
[as Superman, Peter is shot in the eye by a thug]
Peter: Oh my god! You shot me in the fucking eye! Oh, that really hurt! Why would you do that? That was so unneccesary!
[backs up and falls off of roof]

Silas: [In a Subtitle] I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on Yo Ass!
Aslo: ARRRRRRGH!
[the Camera Starts Pin-Pointing on Aslo as a Subtitle appears]
Aslo: Great News, I just saved a bunch of Money on My Car Insurance!

Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: [From unrated version] Enough is enough! I've had it! With these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
Susan: So have I!
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Enough is Enough! I've had it! With these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
Susan: Right...
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I've had it! With these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Because internet bloggers love it when I say "I've had it! With these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"
Susan: Alright, we get it already. Okay?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: No! I don't think you do! I've had it! With these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!
Susan: Why are you yelling?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Shit, bitch! I'm ALWAYS yellin'! I'm Samuel motherfuckin' Jackson!
Susan: Bitch?
[Gets thrown off the plane]

Peter: We may not have the numbers on our side or the weapons she possesses, but we have something far more powerful.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Oh, I know, please help!
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: I know...
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Because internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!"
Susan: Why are you yelling?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Shut up, bitch! I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel Goddamn Jackson!
Susan: [Shocked] Bitch?
["Samuel Jackson" grabs Susan and throws her from the plane]

Lauren Conrad: Nice hair, Rogue.

Peter: I want flabby grandma arms!

Peter: [Talking about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and...
Captain Jack Swallows: [Jack Swallows come rolling by on the wodden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
[In the distance]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, Bitch!
Peter: [pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.

Lucy: I'm sorry, was the fight over?

[first lines]
Narrator: This is the story of four orphans brought together by fate. They didn't know it yet, but there was something more greater in store for them, something epic.

Susan: Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Lucy: Aren't you a little old to be still a student here?
Susan: Nonsense. I am but 14.

Magneto: We'll stand behind you, Peter. That bitch has threatened our mutant way of life for too long. We believe in you.

Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow!
[clapping excitably]
Peter: King wants a monobrow!

Ashton Kutcher Look-Alike: Yeah! We just punked Edward. *Shwam!* That was awesome.

Silas: [In a Subtitle before Shooting Mr.Tumnus Dead] I'm Rick James, Bitch!

Hermione Granger: Hope you chicks are on the pill. Harry likes to get wasted and show off his sorcerers stones.

Narrator: And so it was that Peter, Susan, Edward and Lucy restored peace to Gnarnia. They were orphans no more. They were now a family. They ruled Gnarnia for many years to come. That is, until they found the wardrobe once again.

Silas: [In a Subtitle] I'm gonna drop you like K-Fed!

Peter: And a monobrow!
Mystique: [Does a double take] ... come again?
Peter: [Starts clapping his hands] Monobrow, monobrow, king wants a monobrow!
Mystique: Ok, ok!
[She sighs and grows a monobrow reluctantly]
Peter: And big flabby grandma arms!
Mystique: [disgusted] ... Oh!
Peter: ...Bingo wings! Like a fat blue Britney Spears!
Mystique: [Rolls her eyes, as she starts flapping her arms and begins to shapeshift]
Peter: [while drooling] ... now that's what I'm talking about...
Morphed Mystique: [She now appears extremely fat, flabby, and cross-eyed, flapping her "bingo wings" for Peter]
Peter: ...come here!
Morphed Mystique: [Disgustingly wiggles her tongue]
Peter: [Peter pulls down the now extremely fat Mystique and they start to make out and get it on]

Kanye West Look-Alike: [while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus] The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.

Peter: We have something the White Bitch doesn't.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where only I and my followers will live.
Bink: Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of Superman Returns.
White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

Contribuisci a questa pagina

Suggerisci una modifica o aggiungi i contenuti mancanti

Divario superiore

What was the official certification given to Epic Movie (2007) in Japan?

Rispondi

Modifica pagina

Citazioni

Epic Movie

Contribuisci a questa pagina

Altro da questo titolo

Altre pagine da esplorare

Visti di recente