The Covenant 2

If you watch Mrs. Goodman drive around town, one second she is driving a BMW, next second it's an Audi. Also the license plate rotates from one to the next, never on the same car twice. Early in the movie she said Furlongs character bought a Porsche. Never did see it. I got this movie by mistake as there was two movies with the name "The Covenant". This one and the good one. I think the producers figured on riding on the name to get people like me confused and rent their video. If it wasn't for the name, it wouldn't make it on it's own. Michael Madsen really stooped low for this role. The make-up and wardrobe people should not quit their day jobs.

The PR David Goodman (Edward Furlong) expects to be promoted in the agency where he works but he loses the opportunity to his colleague Tony (Tobias Mehler). While upset at home with his wife Lisa (Chandra West), David sees a man near his car; when he approaches, the stranger sprays some chemicals on his face and David becomes blind. Later David receives a message in his answering machine with the proposal of Dr. Guillermo List (Michael Madsen) for recovering his vision and he offers anything to regain his sight. Dr. List gives an ancient cane with a devil face to David that recovers his eyesight but is possessed by an evil demon, ascending in his career but with a high-price.

"Canes" is really a bad movie: first there are many stories of evil covenants or secret societies; therefore the plot is not even original. The flawed screenplay is terrible, with an imbecile development, characters that comes and dies without any consequence, unanswered situations, silly twists, a corny conclusion associated to very poor special effects. There is one specific scene that is absolutely ridiculous, when Lisa is stabbed with David's cane on her chest and then she runs like hell without any blood or consequences. But the worse is the acting, mainly of the lead and once promising actor Edward Furlong; he is awful, completely miscast for the role of David Goodman, shorter than Chandra West and wearing a suit that probably belongs to his father. The decadent Michael Madsen keeps the (low) level of his last performances and Chandra West is the best that this movie may offer to the viewers. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "O Escolhido" ("The Chosen")

I just saw "Canes" on the pay-TV channel here in British Columbia, and since it was also filmed here I guess that is fitting, and I can also recommend the beautiful scenery! The movie itself, however, was shot on a nothing budget, and contains average performances by all the leads except Furlong, who has not reached any of the potential he showed in his earlier films from the 90's. The most surprising thing about the movie is that the special effects - especially on this budget - are better than the plot (which I'll only describe as "horror"). Somehow, this film was shown at Cannes last month (Canes, Cannes, Uma, Oprah...), but I cannot imagine sitting and watching this film anywhere but at home, as it is slow and not very horrific either. But if you have nothing better to do, and it is free, then...

Looking at the IMDb-page I noticed that the current grade of this movie is a 3. After even more research, I found out that 24 people voted a 10/10 for this movie. All I have to say about that is these people must have been on some very crazy drugs...

This movie is horrible, but this movie is so stupid and crap that it makes you search for new ways to describe its level of shittyness. The plot of this mess makes as much sense as making a movie about killer tooth-picks or something. The acting is almost to the point where its nonexistent. If I would walk onto the street and ask a random person to act like he was possessed I would probably get better results then the acting being performed in this movie. The thought that the people starring in this movie even got paid is simply mindboggling to me.

Whatever you thought this movie was going to be like when you saw the title or saw the poster or anything is not true. Its not some hidden gem of a movie that rarely people speak about, Its a waste of time and it holds no entertainment value.

Oh wait, scratch that. Those special effects were kinda funny...

This is a truly sad display of movie-making from those behind it. Furlong is laughable as the lead, the supporting cast looks like they're choking back laughter half the time, and the slumming of Michael Madsen continues. There are so many plot holes in this 'horror' film, I found myself wondering what the heck the characters were thinking when they did certain things. The special effects are not horrible, but they're only propping up a really bad script. Whoever the wardrobe director on this thing was should be banned from filmmaking for a long time. Furlong's suits look like they were tailored for someone 4 or 5 sizes larger than he is. I watched this for free on late night TV when I couldn't sleep and I still regret losing those agonizing hours of my life. Avoid this garbage. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!