Razortooth

My expectations for this movie were extremely low (which is why it achieved a 3 and not lower). It is a typical low budget "creature feature.". It is campy and stupid to the point of causing me to shake my head in wonder why am I watching this? The acting is atrocious. The characters are so over stereotyped to not be believable. The humor is childish and comes across forced. The CGI is downright awful. The other special effects are just as terrible. But, given the type of movie it is, it is in par with most of the low budget creature features. So, if you like bad acting, bad scripts and lousy CGI, this movie is for you. Otherwise, give it a solid pass it by.

The first half of this movie is bearable. Although, some inconsistent things happen like people walking around, terror in their eyes, too afraid to look backwards, while nobody at that point has a clue about the existence of the creature. Once they learn about its existence, it turns out that each an every character has an IQ of around 20. If you really, REALLY want to be killed, then you might do what these people do, provided you are lobotomized first.

And if that stupidity (and believe me, it is NOT fun to watch-- it is the only reason that I think this movie is not watchable and deserves the 4 out of 10 that I give it-- it's pure, 100% annoyance that ruins all fun completely) isn't enough; there are other large inconsistencies that are simply impossible, but that apparently the director wants us to take for granted. This eel can bite a man in half in one scene of the movie, and it comes through the waste-pipe of a shower-bath in the next. In one scene it lifts up grown men, throwing them in trees-- and the eel is described to be pure muscle by this professor dude-- while in the end our hero wrestles with the creature, in the water no less(!), and keeps it under control with his bare arms. Yeah right. What an insult. Pure waste of time.

I wanted to watch "Razorteeth" by the Polonia brothers, since I watched "Bigfoot vs Zombies" earlier and decided to watch another one of their movies, I couldn't find it online but I found this similar film (both in concept and in name) and it looked interesting so I decided to see it. "Razortooth" its not very good at all.

By SOV monster movie standards its about as average as you could get in the genre, a giant monster its on the loose and kills people, that's about it, I wasn't expecting anything more. It has a few decent kills and the effects are terrible yet somewhat enjoyable for the kind of movie it is. I was actually kinda of surprised at the amount of gore and deaths in the movie, these movies are often disappointing in that aspect but "Razortooth" delivers the goods.

It tries to be comedic but falls flat (again, same thing happens in a lot of these movies), the characters are a bit likable, the editing its awful, its terribly written and directed but it could have been worse.

Because it's pretty clear that Skiffy Channel employees are here trying to raise it's profile by writing smarmy reviews.

This movie has the same plot as nearly every other Skiffy Channel movie. (This was on the Skiffy Channel, right?) A mutated/alien/strange creature rendered by basement-nerd CGI gets loose in a rural community, starts picking off the locals one by one.

Somewhere, I hear Skiffy channel execs having a staff meeting. "Okay, we've done snakes to death. People are bored with snakes. What else do we got?"

"How about giant eels, sir?"

"Aren't those just like snakes?"

"Uh, no, they're fish."

"Well, don't they only live in the water?"

"We'll say they can go on dry land, too. Then have them pick off a collection of bad southern stereotypes, since it's the last accepted bigotry in America."

Bottom line, for all you aspiring writers. An interesting monster might be the hook, but you have to care about the characters. We get a lot of characters, nearly all of whom become eel chow, and you don't feel a bit of empathy for any of them.

Avoid this movie. I wish I had... watching bad movies so you don't have to.

We all agree on feeling as if our brains had been dipped in acid, sliced into little pieces and deep-fried. As if my soul had been raped by a thousand drunk chihuahuas. But mostly I'm speechless. This is the worst thing I have ever seen. It's hard to believe that someone could put so little effort into every aspect of his art. The most soulless and empty thing you could possibly imagine. The average Katy Perry song is ten times as clever and as believable. This film makes me want to rip off an actor's leg, urinate on it and feed it to his grandma. People in directing schools should be forced to watch it. The few that wouldn't die instantly would rise to be legends. This film is like watching a Sarah Palin speech while sober.