La notte dei morti viventi

Barb (Brianna Brown) and her brother Johnny (Ken Ward) travel to the country for the funeral services of their aunt, but they arrive late and drive direct to the cemetery. They see the location empty, but sooner they are attacked by zombies. Johnny escapes in his car leaving Barb alone, but she is rescued by the drug dealer and college student Ben (Joshua DesRoches). He drives his motorcycle to the Cooper farm, and the patriarch Henry Cooper (Greg Travis) does not give credit to Barb. When the farmhouse is under siege of a group of flesh-eaters zombies, the local mortician Gerald Tovar Jr. (Sid Haig) arrives and tells a scary story about the origin of the zombies.

I do not like remakes, but every now and then I see good ones. I bought this "previously-seen" DVD in a rental expecting to watch a good remake of the George Romero's greatest classic. My first deception was in the beginning of the movie, indicating that it would be necessary a pair of glasses to see in 3D that was not delivered with the DVD. After watching this movie, I realized that it is an offense to the original "Night of the Living Dead". The insulting story is absolutely stupid, with terrible dialogs, unnecessary nudity and a ridiculous conclusion; the direction is awful, with an inadequate pace associated to some weak performances. When the group is trapped in the farmhouse, most of the windows have glasses, and the group never protects with wood or wardrobes or whatever. In the end, better off watching the classic again, and I do not know how George Romero could authorize the release of this crap using his name and the original idea. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "A Noite dos Mortos Vivos 3D" ("The Night of the Living Dead 3D")

Some movies suck and others suck the life out of the fabric of the universe -- the latter is true for Night of the Living Dead 3D. High school talent show level acting, oatmeal face makeup, and dialog written in crayola on construction paper, NOTLD 3D has everything except for charm, wit, or that occasional saving grace of 'B' film, unintentional humor. Look! It's bad acting in 3-Dimensions, rather than the plain ole two we mere mortals are stuck with until the holo-projectors show up in the cineplex.

On a scale of one to ten, -200 would seem a fair score, but I feel IMDb needs a more quantitative rating system for films that defy rating - The Gigli Scale. The higher a film rates on the Gigli Scale, the more soul-sucking, time and space fabric ripping it is. While only Gigli currently scores a perfect ten on the Gigli Scale, Night of the Living Dead 3D certainly is a worthy contender to dethroning the current world champion of suck.

First off: I like zombie movies, I really do. I like them that much that I rent zombie movies which are almost definitely bad.

That said, I simply had to rent this. Only when I started the movie I noticed that this was NOTLD 3D, as it was just labeled "Night of the living dead" here. Even though the notion of "3D" implicated that this one would be a pretty awful remake, I simply wasn't prepared for this. It's pretty damn courageous to begin and end your film with the the opening scene of the original and also have the original running on TV during the movie when the remake is such a pile of garbage. From terrible acting over just plain awful special effects and missing wounds, everything here. The worst thing though is that the script only bears a slight resemblance of the original's story. True, it begins at a graveyard. True, at some point in the movie some guys are trapped in a house. The names of the main characters are the same. That's it. All the other things that were good about the original (and even about the first remake) are gone and replaced by a completely generic "horror" story, centered around Sid Haig. There is no reason why this movie should be called "Night of the living dead". It has nothing to do with NOTLD... well, about as much as any other zombie movie has.

Problem is: Even most really, really low-budget zombie movies I've seen were far more enjoyable than this one. Simply stay away from this one. And if you're like me and simply can't stay away from it, don't say you hadn't been warned.

The dead have risen in a small town and group of people take refuge in a farmhouse weed farm.

With the original film never properly copyrighted and in the public domain director Jeff Broadstreet wastes no time in trying to cash-in with a 3D re-imagining.

This is best viewed in 2D as the 3D shots are gimmicky and are few and far between. The 1968 original appears on TVs scattered across the movie reminding you how superior it is to Broadstreet's offering. The opening is quite interesting following to the tropes of the original (the "Coming to get you, Barbara" line absurdly phoned in via text message). It has a bit of atmosphere but over all its all tongue and cheek stuff, suffering from a TV feel and low budget production values. It's on par with its 2012 follow up Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation but not a touch on Tom Savini's superb Night of the Living Dead (1990).

Horror character actor Sid Haig appears but even with its short running time and Brianna Brown, Johanna Black and Cristin Michele it's still totally forgettable.

I'm sorry, but I cannot really summarize my feelings more than to say that I was ready for this to be sort of bad, you know, in a so bad that it's hilariously funny sort of way, but I never knew that a movie could loop its way around again to just plain bad. And just to let you know, this is not the only zombie movie, or "remake" of a zombie movie that I've seen. --I guess I was just spoiled by the leetness of "Dawn of the Dead."

This movie IS a "remake" true, but the effects were so ill done, that except for times the actors were using something like a cellphone in a scene, you could have sworn this was made at the same time as the original. Which, seriously is not necessarily THAT bad, but really, come on... The "3D" could have been way more effectively utilized as well. Truly, if you KNOW you are making it 3D, you could do way cooler, and way more terrifying things than, "Ooh look! A Doobie!". *sigh*

But the "horrifying" zombies were the absolute least of this thing's problems. Oh yes, I AM speaking of the acting. Let me just first say, I think I lost about one IQ point per minute (maybe second) of watching these people try to act. Now, that's not that I'm saying that I thought this was supposed to be an Oscar worthy film. When I walked in, I knew I wasn't going to be enlightened. But dang! The crappy delivery of the "witty" lines that the script offered was the only thing in the whole movie that was worthy enough to make me gasp in horror. COME ON PEOPLE!! Absolutely everyone watching has fairly low expectations of you and yet you decide your mission in life is to lower them even further?!?! There was not ONE person in the entire cast (including the lead actress) that you could EVER feel for enough to root for THEM against the zombies. I myself, was cheering for the zombies. If they could have eaten everyone in the first 15 minutes, THAT would have been worthwhile.

I'm not going to say more because no more is needed. It was bad and that is it.

You can hate the review, or agree with everything. I don't truly care. I just wrote this because I needed somewhere to vent. I had already used up my boyfriend, who by the way agrees with me.