Hack! - Chi farà l'ultimo taglio?

No, it's definitely a B-movie, but it has a few things going for it. First, it has decent production values and an acceptable look. This is not some film school project or extra-low budget screamer. Second, the plot, while rickety, is serviceable. Third, the acting (with the exception of two of the main characters) is really not bad. It's not great, but it's not the amateurish stuff that shows up in so many direct-to-video features nowadays. Fourth, the gore level (and nudity) is acceptably high.

The biggest problem with this film is a combination of the script and the direction. You just never feel like any of the characters could be real people. This is especially true of the college students. (As an aside, I might mention that I'm a cranky old guy who thinks that young whippersnappers have things too good and are being coddled to the point of absurdity. But it seems like whoever makes movies like this one thinks that all college students are complete and total sociopaths. In just about every movie I've seen recently that deals with college students, they are all just complete and total jerks. I'm beginning to feel sorry for them.) Anyway, it's hard to identify with the students/victims and that makes it difficult to get emotionally involved with their fear. Everybody in the film is just plastic.

Overall, though, watching this film is not a COMPLETELY terrible way to spend your time.

A group of students go to an island to study biology, although they all seem to like discussing horror films and almost no one wants to actually do their work. Drugs and sex are rampant, and the island's residents are a bit odd. Not "odd" in a weird way so much as eccentric, so the students go along with it. Then someone decides to kill the kids... and suspicions fall on one after another suspect.

Danica McKellar stars in this film as teacher's assistant Emily Longley. When the movie began and Danica entered the screen, I was smitten: I knew I had found possibly the most beautiful woman in movies (aside from my all-time favorites of Mandy Moore and Christina Ricci). So I looked her up and was shocked -- this was Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years" (who was never "hot" by any means, even though I think many kids had a crush on her for some reason). So, my point is: McKellar as the shy, bespectacled teacher's aide... priceless.

From there on out, I can understand why this film is generally considered pretty lackluster. It has a cheese factor somewhere between Gouda and Camembert. The movie rips off other horror films -- many character names are horror-based (Argento, Carpenter, etc.) and there's countless references (the boat being named Orca after the "we're going to need a bigger boat" line was awesome). If you don't love horror, these jokes are not funny... and even if you do, it might take a special kind of humor (the film is called "Hack" -- lighten up!).

Treat the movie like a game, and see how many references and rip-offs you can catch. Some are obvious (they directly mention a variety of films, including the Billy Zane classic "Dead Calm") and others not so much. I guarantee you I missed some of the references -- now I have to watch it again, and I gladly would.

Horror fans will also like the nudity (it's limited but it's here) and the blood. We got chainsaws, piranhas, sharp blades and even a scene with samurai or something (a reference I definitely missed). I can't wait to see it again so I can write a better review... oh yeah, Kane Hodder shows up briefly, too, and William Forsythe is a weird Scottish groundskeeper. Just watch this!!!

Hack! is one of those tongue-in-cheek scary movies that thinks it's being original, witty and clever by referencing past horror classics and playing on the stereotypes and clichés of the genre, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth: loading a film with exaggerated characters named after well-known horror icons, and having them make post-modern observations and spout self-conscious dialogue is not only a very stale routine, but in this particular case also somewhat insulting to its intended horror-savvy audience, to whom these nods to the movies they love will seem extremely obvious and rather irritating.

Fortunately, as tired and predictable as the format may be, the film does have its positives, in the very welcome form of juicy gore and tasty babes! Director Matt Flynn wisely sees fit to include plenty of splattery kills, including a bloody chainsaw attack, a gory hook through the eye, and a shotgun blast to the head, and the fine selection of hotties include one time Buffy vamp Juliet Landau, the stunning Gabrielle Richens (who happily gets her ample norks out), and Danica McKellar of The Wonder Years fame, who regrettably keeps her kit on, thus disappointing the legion of pervs who always wondered what a grown up Winnie might look like in the buff.

Throw in a creepy clown, killers dressed in Japanese costume for absolutely no reason, and a pool of piranha, and what you have is a very cheesy, non-essential popcorn flick that won't win any awards for originality, but which is just about daft enough, sexy enough and silly enough for it to still warrant a watch.

Hack! is a story of 7 High School kids who are invited to an island as part of their biological studies but end up getting killed, one by one. This is a deliberately clichéd film with its tongue planted firmly in cheek, a fun take on horror movies, in particular slashers, torture porn and even J-Horror. The students, who are played by actors in their 30's, are as stereotypical as you get - the jock, the sultry slut, rock chick, geeky need, gay Asian guy, the token black guy and the handsome hero. The acting is decent and the cast includes horror legend Kane Hodder and Burt Young, though only in minor roles. The film has plenty of effective gore and a high enough body count, to ensure things never get boring. Aside from a period of bad sound and obvious day for night scenes the production is pretty good. I picked up my copy on DVD and as a horror fan I enjoyed this, genre movies being name checked throughout, including characters with surnames King, Argento and Shelley. Not as silly as the Scary Movie series but still very much a comedy, the sort of film that goes well with a few alcoholic beverages.

This movie delivers a decent amount of gore, but will not scare you. It's more of a comical horror movie than anything else. Sometimes in horror movies I like to make fun of certain parts of the movie that look cheesy and corny. This movie simply does it for you. Several references to classic horror movies and spoof about these movies. Pay attention and catch ALL of the references they make to the horror industry. It's a fun movie to watch if you don't mind a little blood and gore. Gabrielle Richens gets topless in three different scenes, who is just stunningly hot. Danica McKellar (Winnie from The Wonder Years) is also quite attractive as a "book worm" role and her other role as well in the movie. Definitely recommend it if you like comedy horror movies.