Asterix alle Olimpiadi

Rarely I do feel so outraged, but this piece of mindless images-in-motion is positively a sacrilege. NOTHING remains of the bright and snappy Humor of Gosciny and Uderzo. The ONLY puns worth a half-smile are the meta-movie ones: Alain Delon mentioning guepards, samurais, Rocco's brothers and the Sicilians' clan, or Schumacher running in the race with a Ferrari battle-car - but even these are obsolete, old-fashioned and excessive. Further, the humor is admirable, sublime we can say, but totally amiss. ALL the gags are forced, painfully slow, grotesquely overdone. The script is an absolute mess - no convincing story-line, no dramatic structure, no sense of rhythm (all these being capital errors when doing a comedy; even more so, for such a difficult and ambitious comedy as Astérix: absurd, fantastic, cunningly warping history, childish in an intelligent way). All in all, as other comments rightly stated, this film-lenght is the worst of all three: definitely slow, much too long, outright boring and worse than amateurish - it's DILETTANTE! If you loved Astérix, avoid it - it will incense you. If you don't know the Gaul hero, avoid it harder - it will unfairly compromise him forever in your eyes. The ONLY Astérix remains the one in the toons and comic books.

I was really looking forwards to this: Whereas "Asterix & Cesar" wasn't great, they seemed to have found their stride with "Asterix et Cleopater" only to inexplicably throw it all away with this heap of rubbish. Where shall I start: The cast.

Clovis Cornillac - catastrophic. There isn't a hint of the quick wittedness and light footedness you expect of Asterix. Instead of being the mainstay of the film, he's a sideshow: Unfunny, uncharismatic. Bring back Clavier!

Alain Delon? I nearly wept! He's an all time legend. Cool, hard, dangerous. And here? A creepy buffoon. His worst role. Ever.

That's enough. Now the plot: In Asterix & Cleopatre, the writers (and director) managed to update the Goscinny original comic spirit and clever references very successfully in my opinion. That is, without sacrificing the flow of the narrative, and without over-emphasizing modern references. That is, they didn't get in the way nor did they hobble the Goscinny narrative.

These clowns seem to have completely missed the plot. The unsubtle references stick out like a sore thumb, and the things referred to will all be forgotten in a few years.

But more fatally for the plot: they've glued together episodes from different Asterix books with elaborate pastiches to try and re-establish some sort of story logic.

Then, they have seriously warped the actual olympic games narrative flow. The plot they've come up with leaves you constantly thinking "What? How ... why is this happening now? Where is such-and-such gone?" and most importantly "hmm, was that joke supposed to be ... funny?".

All in all, truly catastrophic. The only saving grace is - I supposed toddlers might find it exciting.

No, it's not *good*, I won't go that far. When you think of what it *could* have been, you feel cheated. The remarks listed in reviews stand: the focus isn't always there, the supposedly main character was relegated to being mere support, the pacing is often off - for example, the chariot race manages to look way less exciting than it should be, so one can speculate where the fault lies - the camera-work, the editing... I think it's the direction. The director(s) and the producer(s) went to create a film for about a bazillion types of audiences (and I don't blame them, when there are 70+ million Euros to justify and return) but that's a pretty tough goal. It worked for the original comic where the kids get the gags and the subtle education, and the adults get the clever wordplay and densely packed historical, literary, and other references, but this doesn't mean it will necessarily work in another medium. So there are too many plots (patched together from several Astérix books - this was the demise of the first film too, so future takers, learn!), too many people to satisfy, and too many actors and celebrities. To hold all those egos in check one needs a stronger director or team than the newbies (sorry, but it's true) this film had. I have the impression that they went with the idea that if they throw enough money and enough famous names into the cauldron the film will make itself, but, eh, no. This film desperately needed somebody who could shape it better because it's obvious where things were cut (some scenes make no sense) and they should have used the *titular character* a lot more. It must be said however that for an amusing night's out it's a perfectly fine piece of entertainment. We laughed quite a lot. Depardieu and Delon deliver, Poelvoorde is a comedian I'd not heard of before but now I'm interested in his other work, and as for the new Astérix - Clovis Cornillac - well, he got the character down to a T: he's too tall and a little too fit, sure, but he looks pretty darn much like the guy in the comic book and he moves and talks just like him. I'd never seen a fictional character recreated with such essential accuracy and since this must be even more difficult when the source material is based on grotesque and exaggeration, this is quite an achievement. Hopefully, Mr Cornillac will have (and accept) another chance to play in an Astérix film, this time with a bigger role.

Gaul is entirely occupied by the Roman . Well not , entirely . One small village of indomitable Gauls holds out against the invaders . Life is not easy for the Roman legionaries who garrison the fortified camp . In the village are our friends, Asterix (Clovis Cornillac replacing Christian Claver) , he's a shrewd and cunning little warrior, his inseparable partner is Obelix (Gerard Depardieu , as always), he's ready to drop everything and go off on a new adventure with Asterix , Panoramix (recently deceased Jean Pierre Cassel) , the venerable village's druid who brews magic potions , his speciality is the potion which gives the drinker superhuman strength , without forgetting the chief Abraracourcix and the singer Bardo Cacofonix . Besides , a young villager enamored a beautiful Greek princess named Irina (Vanessa Hessler). Then our heroes decide participate in the Olympic Games in Olympia . There they must confront the Caesar's (Alain Delon substituting Gottfried John and Alain Chabat) son , named Brutus (Benoit Poelvoorde).

The picture captures outrageous adventures , tongue in cheek , anachronisms , feats and hilarious moments here and there. Packs sympathetic first appearance of Julius Caesar played by Alain Delon doing a self-homage with musical background from the Clan of the Sicilians . It appears several secondaries as Spaniards and French actors , such as Santiago Segura , Monica Cruz and Jean Pierre Castaldi ,Janel Debouzze repeating his role of Numerobix and the wrestling champion Nathan Jones as Humungus . However , this time doesn't appear the likable pirates and their sinking ships , being replaced by known football players in a silly ending with a balloon as plot . The motion picture was regularly directed by Frederic Forrestier , though it contains lively musical score and colorful cinematography by Thierry Argobast . This inferior third entry shot in live acting is preceded by ¨Asterix vs Caesar¨ directed by Claude Zidi and ¨Asterix and Cleopatra¨ by Alain Chabat with Monica Belucci.

Of course I was expecting celebrity cameos, but I hopped the movie won't stand only on this. Unfortunately it does it.

At each minute a celebrity face arrives, (french and European celebrities of course) makes a reference and gets out. What about ASTERIX himself ? Well, he's also making a "cameo" since he is not the main character of this movie. And the worst stands at the end of the movie (when the story is finished) when a bunch of sport's stars arrived to show themselves without having nothing to do in the spot line. Sort of "we didn't have time to put you in the story, but you will appear at the end, to increase our credits"...

The good points : The special effects and the set decoration are really great. We understand this picture costs the price of a "STARWARS". Too bad to have spent so much for a tiny joke...

"THE MOST EXPENSIVE FRENCH MOVIE OF ALL TIME !".

What a pride ! :)