Shoot 'em up - Spara o muori

Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Belluci star in "Shoot 'Em Up," a 2007 film that I believe is a parody of the action genre. It has to be.

Owen plays a former black ops who helps a woman deliver a baby and then finds himself on the run with the baby as hundreds of people chase him and shoot at him.

I won't go into the whys and wherefores. I will only say that it is non-stop action, with Owen shooting in all kinds of situations - sliding on oil leaks under cars, having sex, sitting, standing, running, jumping, parachuting out of a plane -- he never stops. When he's not shooting he's punching, knifing, or slamming someone's head somewhere. Or eating a carrot.

Monica Belluci is the hooker he asks to help care for the baby as the two of them run for their lives, the baby in tow wearing a bullet-proof vest.

The body count is unbelievable.

Exciting, fun, bloody, violent, and preposterous, you'll be on the edge of your seat rooting for him to make the world safe.

Someone once told me that movies are made for 15-year-old boys in Taiwan. This kind of action film definitely is. You can sit back and watch car chases, thermal guns, nudity, you name it - you don't need to know a word of English.

Clive Owen comes up against Paul Giamatti, and the two actors couldn't be more different. Owen is deadpan and deadly, Giamatti is a showman who can play an evil character like this or comedy with equal facility. I understand he recently played, of all things, Hamlet, and received wonderful reviews.

I really hope Clive Owen plays James Bond. I think he'd be wonderful.

Smith is minding his own business when he sees a heavily pregnant woman being pursued by an armed man. He defends her honour and, in the ensuing gun battle, he delivers her child just before she is shot. He flees with the infant but finds that the target is none other than the baby itself. Turning to a lactating prostitute for help, Smith remains a target for an increasing number of killers under the instruction of violent family man and contractor Hertz.

Let's get one thing out of the way here from the very start because I think it is one thing that all viewers can agree on whether you liked this film or not – it is utter nonsense. Not "silly" or "lacking logic" but just out and out nonsense. OK, so now that we have agreed that, what we shall disagree on is just how important that is in regards the enjoyment of this film. You see the film actually works on two very important levels which I think probably explains why it is generally well regarded on this site despite it being, well, nonsense. Instead of worrying about character and plotting and other things that most action films at least try to have, this just goes all out in a ballet of violence and guns that is about as close to action film pornography as I think I have ever seen. However at the same time it never takes itself seriously – a fact proved by just how bad some of the gimmicks (the carrots) and dialogue is as well as just how overblown the action is.

By doing this the film hits two audience sectors. Mostly obviously it will appeal to those who just love to see things explode, people die and guns look cool. No doubt it appeals to them because this is a film where the action is constant and even the sex scenes with gorgeous women turn into a gunfight where the phallic nature of the gun could not be made more obvious unless it had a pair of grenades taped either side of the barrel. It revels in violence and gun play, with the gun even forming a marriage band of sorts at one point. However what makes the film worth seeing is that it also appeals to those of us that like action but won't watch any old rubbish. Amazingly it does this by being so overblown and ludicrous that it actually takes the p1ss from the genre in a way that is fun to watch (and also allows those with intellectual aspirations to enjoy the violence while also distancing themselves from it). It sounds unlikely and it may have been a fluke but this is what the film does and it is really good.

I'm pretty sure it was planned because the cast seem sold on the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Owen is great in this dual action hero role and he puts himself 100% into it while also having his tongue in his cheek. Likewise Giamatti, who is not at his best here but yet still drives the mockery and effectiveness of his character. Bellucci concludes the starry cast with a so-so turn, which is perhaps understandable as she is solely here for her sex appeal (which is immense). The rest of the cast are either solid bit players with little to do or goons who fall over. Kudos to the effects department as well for the "baby", which manages to look real for the majority of the time.

Shoot 'Em Up is not a great film and it is based on nonsense but yet it somehow works. By being overblown to the degree it is, it works as both an excessive action film and also a pastiche on how excessive the action genre can be. It will not appeal to everyone even with this, but this made it work for me on both levels and it was much better than I expected it to be as a result.

A film that aims to be a parody on the extremeness and over-the-top tendencies of the action genre, and succeeds in becoming entertaining and exhilarating. I doubt there will be a more entertaining piece of work this year. It was so over-the-top and hilarious. Some of it did go a tid bit too far for me (the firefight while jumping out of a plane, the fact that there wasn't a single cop to be found) but all of the wild absurdity combined with an encompassing metal soundtrack and perfectly choreographed action made it one of the funnest movies I've ever seen. The clash of Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti certainly added a great stride to it, with Clive's deadpan hilarity and Giamatti's winning charisma. It's this extravagance and extreme unrealism that makes the film entertaining, but can also be a flaw from time to time. But it is absolutely impossible not to have an uproarious time watching Clive Owen shoot an umbilical cord to separate it from the mother, kill numerous people with a simple carrot, and (in my favorite scene of the film) have raunchy sex with Monica Bellucci whilst laying out an endless supply of armed hit men. Certainly something I could see myself re-watching time and time again.

I wasn't really sure what to make of this movie before I went to the advanced screening. I heard from a friend of mine at the Chicago Tribune (she's female, and you'll see why that matters in a second) and she said, "It was so stupid! It was like, BANG BANG BANG, EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE, BANG BANG BANG! Then gallons of blood and we move on." For some reason, the little boy in me that loved the scene in Predator where all of the soldiers shoot at open woods for a complete minute, got very excited. She wasn't kidding, either, that's just what this movie was. Don't worry about the plot, it's not really a concern. Don't worry about the script either, the lines are so over the top and shallow that you know a man wrote this script without allowing anyone to comment on it.

At the same time, this movie is just plain fun. You will find yourself laughing from the moment the movie starts to the ending (which you won't be glancing at your watch while waiting for). There are funny lines, funny situations, and stuff that is so impossible in the real world that you can't help but chuckle. Various moments during the film, I found myself applauding along with the audience, maybe not for the film, but for how writer/director Michael Davis got our hero out of another situation.

The directing, as opposed to the writing, was done very well, especially for a movie like this. If you take the directing too seriously, the script won't work, which is probably why Michael Davis did both. Clive Owen delivers another strong performance, adapting to the cheesy script and outrageous events like a participant in a prank or gag. Monica Bellucci plays the most serious role in the film, and still takes to mocking her life and situation in this movie like the rest of them. My favorite character would still have to be the sly Paul Giamatti, who is given some pretty crazy situations himself but they are coupled with the only lines of any intelligence (or longer than about four words).

By the end of this movie, I was having a lot of fun watching a plot unfold that I didn't really care about. That doesn't deter the film, though, because it's kind of like a stunt show, you're not really concerned with the story. I loved it and, apparently, so did most of the audience. It really reminded me of seeing, well, a live action movie that was more like a video game (we even have coordinated colors for the costumes of the "bad guys" in the various "levels"). I'd like to use this film as an example to my (former) favorite critic Roger Ebert as a perfect example of how video games can be construed in the same light as video games, because Roger, this is clearly a movie made by a large video game fan.

An irreverent send up of action movie cliches that also manages to revel gleefully in them. It's got Clive Owen completely drenched in dedication, its got a bad guy that can't even give a good monologue, its got guns that only need reloading when it's convenient, its got one liners that laugh in the face at the very concept of a one liner. It's got a dark sense of humour but in the same sort of way that something like South Park does; It's harmless, with creative action and some truly laugh out loud gags. It's an indie-rock response to the seriousness of Bourne and the veneered ugliness of Bond. It acknowledges the silliness of action with all its love and heart. And post John Wick, I'm thinking it's time for more. Shoot Em Up is the Garth Merenghi pastiche of action rather than the Scary Movie parody. This film is not for everyone but it is for me.