La casa degli Usher

The 2006 House Of Usher film (as opposed to the countless other versions, most recently in 2008) is dull as all hell.

Plainly put. Not much else to say. It's far too bland to even bother typing a review. It's a shoddy little piece. Relatively faithful to the original story, but a bland and tiresome film regardless.

Move on. Buy something interesting. Like, I dunno, Blood Monkey- which I might review some time in the next few weeks.

Since an IMDb review requires 10 or more lines, I suppose I really must elaborate: The film is tosh. It's trash. It's garbage. It takes the dry classical texts of Poe and vacuum seals them, taking out what little life remained from the distinctly dated original works. It borrows only the most obvious aspects of the story, ignores subtlety, and pisses on the livelier bits of the original story. I'm hard pressed to care about it, and even more pressed to write a review for a film so utterly pointless.

Curse it. Curse it back to the burned out pit it most inevitably came from.

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In this very serviceable thriller, a young woman named Jill hears from her former lover Roderick. He and his sister Maddie, her best friend when the three of them were at college together, disappeared suddenly from her life several years ago and she had not heard from either of them since. Roderick tells her that Maddie has died, and asks Jill to come for the funeral.

Roderick suffers from an illness that makes him sensitive to light and touch. He is a novelist and writes at night, wearing gloves and headphones to drown out sensation. He frequently communicates through typewritten notes that bear the Usher seal, weighty symbol of the burden of the Usher legacy. The novel he is writing parallels the happenings in the house, and he won't let Jill read it, saying that he isn't sure yet how it is going to turn out.

Roderick asks Jill to stay because he needs her, but she only gradually discovers his full intent. Austin Nichols is the restrained Roderick to Izabella Miko's translucent but determined Jill. Both are well cast in their roles.

The opening music and the repeated warnings of the housekeeper are a bit heavy-handed and the film might have done better to let the story unfold without them. The second half of the film has lots of plot twists that make for great after-viewing discussion. The artistry of the filming earned this film the best cinematography award at the Boston Film Festival where it premiered.

I recommend seeing this movie (but not alone!)

There really isn't much story here, so it is hard to imagine how this film can be retold. However, there is a twist in this retelling that makes for some interesting imaginings.

It is a Gothic tale with a very wooden Austin Nichols as Roderick Usher, a man who is dying, and dying to continue the family linage, and the curse as well. Izabella Miko, a really hot choice, is his old girlfriend brought back to complete his mission. She is caught in his web, although one has to wonder why, as he has no charm whatsoever.

She tries to escape once she discovers the awful family secret, but it is to no avail. It is only through the intervention of the creepy housekeeper, Mrs. Thatcher (Beth Grant), that she has a chance. Mrs Thatcher hates her, so it's hard to see how she will escape.

That's pretty much it. Like I said, there is not a of of story in this creepy Gothic by Edgar Allen Poe. It would probably be better to see Roger Corman's version.

Or, you could wait later this year for the gay version.

I own a movie review blog and I reviewed this movie recently. IMDb does not allowed me to include URL's, so I will just paste what you would have found on my blog as my review of this film. "Based off the popular Edgar Allen Poe short story The Fall of the House of Usher. This 2006 adaptation was nothing like the Poe story. Other than a few names being the same I don't know how they can claim this as an adaptation. It was incredibly confusing. And the film ended leaving my mother and I with tons of questions. What was originally a story about two (male) college buddies somehow became about a girl and her old college lover in this film. There was some sexual content, not severe, but totally pointless. Not to mention the way the Rodrick Usher kisses his lover Jill makes me want to vomit. It was like he was trying to eat her face! Slirping and smacking and....ugh make me shiver just to recall it. No one should ever kiss like that, especially on film. There was a pointless character added in named Mrs. Thatcher. What she was supposed to bring to the plot I do not know. She was basically just a creepy old woman thrown in to add ambiance I guess. The acting was to be desired, but the scenery was pretty cool. I liked the old large manor, though it lacked the foggy green glow that the Usher manor was described as having in the short story. Overall, I would not see this film unless you want to be confused. Its not scary, its not suspenseful, its not accurate to the original story, (and if go for the hot and steamy films) the sex in this film isn't even sexy. All around fail in my book. "

"The House of Usher" is called "the modern re-telling of Edgar Allen Poe's story from a female perspective".Yeah right,and I'm an alien invader from Pluto.First of all,the film fails as a thriller as it's extremely boring and lacks tension.Like so many earlier adaptations of Poe's work,this latest interpretation bears little resemblance to the source material.The cast is pretty terrible,albeit it's nice to see Polish beauty Izabella Miko in the main role.On the plus side the cinematography is great and the last 15 minutes are actually quite interesting to say the least.It's a shame that the rest of the film is so painfully dull.If you want a proper Poe's adaptations rent or buy a couple of Roger Corman's flicks.3 out of 10.