Bloodfist 2050

Bloodfist 2050 reminds me of the low budget action movies Jean-Claude Van Damme used to make in the late 1980s before he moved to Hollywood and became a total loser. In case of any confusion, I mean that as a compliment. Just like those films, Bloodfist 2050 makes no pretence about its meagre plot or wooden acting, choosing instead to focus its resources on squeezing as much action into the film as possible. The result is one of the most honest and enjoyable straight-to-video (actually, straight-to-TV) action films that I have seen in a while.

The plot is really beside the point but to summarise: Alex visits his brother Johnny, a pit fighter, only to find out that he has been murdered. Alex decides to pursue the murderer with the help of Slick, a police detective. Slick suggests that a pit fighter may be responsible, so naturally he trains Alex to become a fighting machine and enter an upcoming tournament. The same plot has served hundreds of action films over the years, and with good reason - It's the perfect vehicle for almost non-stop violence. The only real twist here is the fact that the movie is set in the future, hence the "2050".

Bloodfist 2050 really doesn't disappoint when it comes to action. From the car chase that begins the movie, to confrontations with street thugs and pit fighters, the action flows constantly. The fights are mostly brutal and the acrobatic skill of the various participants is put to good use. The violence is really only broken up by stripping routines and a sex scene. In fact, the film is surprisingly sleazy. I was not surprised to learn that some of the cast earn their livings making soft core adult movies.

The performances are uniformly bad but they serve their purpose. Matt Mullins makes a decent action hero. He may have the charisma of rotting vegetables but he looks the part and is obviously a skilled martial artist. As the stripper love-interest, Beverly Lynne exposes her breasts competently enough. Joe Sabatino also does reasonably well as Slick, particularly in the film's latter stages.

If you like mindless violence interspersed with gratuitous nudity, then Bloodfist 2050 comes highly recommended.

Bloodfist 2050 is the ninth in the bloodfist series and it does not star Don Wilson (who was in the previous eight). Here we have Matt Mullins take over as the lead and apply his martial arts to those who need a beat down. In this chapter he is looking for his brother's killer who fights in a no holds barred competition. Sound familiar? For the most part this one is basically rehashing the first Bloodfist's plot even down to the killer's identity. This one takes place in the future (post apocalyptic kind) and the usual anarchy reigns supreme. For the most part Matt Mullins is OK in this. His fighting skill seems to belong in a better movie though as he easily disposes of any foe with ease and a couple of flashy moves. The budget is quite low as there only seems to be about three sets and the extended strip scenes at the strip club seem to be more at home on cinema's late night. All in all this chapter is a let down for anybody who are fans of the first eight. Except for the potential of Mullins the rest of the movie is a bomb and a disappointment.

In effect, Bloodfist 2050 is a series reboot that remakes the story told in the first one, transplanted to a futuristic (post-apocalyptic?) LA. But still filmed in the Philippines, of course. And in many ways, this one worked off the exact same script. Literally. They only changed minor details. But there must be some popular appeal (not to mention a financial one) for this particular story to have been made so many times. It was remade three times in 1993 alone. This adaptation is perfectly fine for what it is and was trying to be, falling somewhere in the mid-range in terms of entertainment value for me. I'll be more inclined to revisit the first two in this series (or one of the myriad of other remakes) than this one, but it was good for at least one viewing.

This in-name-only sequel to the beloved Don "The Dragon" Wilson series is a classic Concorde-New Horizons early 90s production - it just happens that it was made in 2005. Alex Danko (five time world martial arts champion Matt Mullins) arrives in futuristic LA to find his brother dead. Like all good brothers, he vows to find the killer and enters "The Pit," an arena where martial arts combatants are pitted against one another. Director Ciro Santiago (using the pseudonym Leonard Hermes) really jumps into the Concorde archives with this one. The film is literally spot the stock footage from past productions. For example, Maria Ford pops up as a stripper, but I'm pretty sure she has no idea she is in this. Yet he somehow makes it work. What is glaring are the bits where the male and female leads hairstyles change dramatically. Mullins is a very acrobatic and talented martial artist. Beverly Lynne, as his love interest, provides plenty of strip scenes. The real surprise is TV vet Joe Sabatino as Det. Marino aka Slick. He is quite good and it is surprising to see him in such a cheapjack production.

Oh my this movie rocked! It has everything. Mad Max meets Blade Runner meets Cage. The only thing missing from this movie are mutants, or vampires... or any kind of monster actually. But every other thing you can think of, this movie has:

It literary starts with a bang! Random people are running back and forth on the screen while they burn and blow up. Followed by amusing sped up footage which makes for a car chase scene. Then comes tits.

Some rather slow fights scenes follow where, though some of the moves are kinda cool, the characters are still 1 meter apart, and obviously misses, to absurdly excessive sound effects. More tits follow.

A laughable low-fi cgi clip which is shown about 7 times during the movie. More tits.

Crazy overuse of stock footage which doesn't fit in at all. Followed by tits. Suddenly a sex scene comes along. Followed by yet new tits.

Which brings it to the most obvious plot twist in movie history?

All done with horrible sound production, editing seemingly by a 3 year old, no acting whatsoever, directing? what directing?

This movie is at the very top of the "so bad it's good" genre. And possibly the largest combination of tits and explosions ever put on screen?