Unseen Evil 2

I gave a 5 stars. The movie does not deserve even one. But after forcing myself through this epic piece of cr*p, I went to the mall and bought a DVD. That's how bad this is. Terrible acting with many embarrassing scenes, horrendous CGI and the story-line which puts the dot on it.

So if you are looking for something that is really so bad that it's actually worth watching, this "unseen piece of cr*p 2" suits just to that category.

One of the worst films I have or ever WILL view. Highlight was the nice topless scene in the first 2 minutes, then all downhill from there. Previous reviews are correct. They use model helicopters that I could probably photograph and make look more real than the movie did...OMG, I was laughing, it was so funny. But it's supposed to be a "scary" movie and here I am splitting a gut over the cheap props....explosions that my kids can simulate easily. The entire storyline is an utter insult to one's intelligence. For example, we're supposed to believe that Lorenzo and his military buddy JUMP FROM THAT TOY HELICOPTER WITHOUT PARACHUTES AND THEY BOTH WALK AWAY? Are you kidding me?

Some of the special effects remind me of the late 60's early 70's cartoon series, "The Thunderbirds," where puppet like characters and buildings were supposed to look "real" but there is no way they were actually real. The only thing that kept me watching to the end was to see how much worse it could possibly get...and trust me, it did. From concept to plot to storyline to acting to special effects, this has got to be in the running for all-time bomb of all time. Heck, if they had used a bomb as big as this movie against that alien, he would have died on the first hit. This screenplay unfolds A LOT like my own first attempt to write an original creative story...oh, did I mention that it was a 6th grade project? DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, BAD MOVIE APPROACHING! DANGER! DANGER!

First things first. The Monster on the cover art is not in the movie, it is not even a decent facsimile.

Now on to this watchable piece of turd B midnight, one too many beers special.

The gore was funny and way way over the top. The CG blood was surprising good even in slow-mo. Watching Lorenzo Lamas(wearing the same clothes as in "deep evil"..these must have been made back to back) getting cut in half was worth the 10 bucks I paid for this...Hilarious. I would not be surprised if they spent 1/2 their budget of about 3.00 bucks on the gore.

The acting topped out with Lamas and went down hill from there, if you know his work then you can pretty much put together the quality of the acting based on what you think of Lamas.

I laughed and smiled though most of this piece of visual bubble gum.

If you like your B movies silly, fast paced and pretty gory, try this one.

I too, had the "mis-fortune" of seeing this movie before the street date. If this movie cost more than $25,000 to make, the producers of this movie need to get receipts for everything, because none of it went into the special effects. I shouldn't even use the word special effects at all because there definitely wasn't anything special about them. I don't think I would even label this a "B" movie. Try C, D, or F+. Take the military helicopter, for instance. It's a remote-controlled model. It looks as real as a dog's chew toy that resembles a hamburger.

And what type of blackmail did they use to get Lorenzo Lamas. I know he works the "B" movie circuit but this is a new low. How low can you go? "Alien 3000" low.

This is definitely not worth seeing if you are paying. Now if a friend gets it and you enjoy bad movies then watch away. You will find yourself laughing most of the way through. There is plenty to laugh at: stereotypical characters, bad sets, bad acting, bad effects (or lack thereof). I think my rating of 2 out of 10 is probably a bit high.

After opening with some mandatory female toplessness, UNSEEN EVIL 2 begins.

Three nameless characters (aka: monster fodder) are investigating a cave, when they immediately discover a massive treasure. This isn't difficult, since it's sitting right out in the open. Obviously, there are monsters about, and the anonymous trio is quickly reduced to red, icky goo.

Next, a group of belligerent paramilitary types, with a collective IQ of about 8, are sent to investigate the cave. Haphazard plotting and unforgivable non-action ensue. The dialogue appears to have been written on the fly, by semi-sentient mildew, and certainly, the roles could have been played with equal believability, by a team of home-cleaning robots.

The only thing worse than the humans in this movie is the "monster" itself. This is due to the "special" effects, that can only be described, in technical terms, as digital dung. The shameful CGI is far inferior to that used in first generation DOOM computer animation. Making matters even worse, the "practical" effects amount to a giant, rubber homunculus that blubbers around while killing Priscilla Barnes! This is followed by the blatant burning of a toy building, standing in for some actual structure.

This sewer raft co-stars Phoebe Dollar, who always seems to gravitate toward these wretched roles. Sometimes she's good. Here, well...