Genetic Crime

Another day, another Sci Fi Channel TV movie, this time from Canada. SWARMED is, unsurprisingly enough, a film about killer wasps, although it's not enough for them to be mere killer wasps. They're genetically engineered killer wasps, don't you know, ones which escape from the lab and go on a low budget rampage for the film's duration.

You get exactly what you expect in a film like this and nobody disappoints you. Director Paul Ziller has made a string of cheap and cheesy movies with titles like ICE QUAKE, STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE, and SEEDS OF DESTRUCTION, and SWARMED fits into his resume quite neatly. It's certainly not one of his better films as this isn't even so-bad-it's-good kind of viewable for half the time as there are long boring stretches where nothing much happens.

The usual B-movie flaws of bad special effects are present here (the appalling CGI is something to behold), along with wooden acting from the lead star Michael Shanks. The old-timer part is played by Tim Thomerson with less screen time than they usually give to these familiar faces. The film follows the age-old storyline that originated in the likes of JAWS and PIRANHA and never for a moment does it offer anything out of the ordinary.

If you enjoy your typical genetically altered insect turned into environmental catastrophe movie, then you will like Swarmed. Begins with run of the mill experimentations that are inadvertently foiled by the ever clumsy custodial engineer. For his part, the janitor pays dearly and hence begins the death toll for an innocent unsuspecting town. The absurdity of the story multiplies as quickly as the town folks death count yet somehow only serves to further augment the entertainment value.

The movie's story revolves around an impending barbecued hamburger contest which co-incidentally and conveniently is exactly what the wasps are attracted to....yum....love that sauce!! This meat fest occurs in a tasty slice of small town America wrought with corruption, stupidity, and greed - bad combination for city and event planning, great combination for carnage. No worries for the citizens though, the local professor of entomology (doesn't every small town have one?), that also happens to be thank goodness a hotty, will piece it all together with help from the lab scientist that engineered the original overly aggressive easily antagonized wasps.

This is a definite must see if you ever wanted to see an administrative assistant hunt city hall for a wasp with a double barreled shotgun. Quite impressive!! Equally impressive was the actual cook off where pandemonium strikes as the meat hungry wasps arrive. Kudos to Tim Matherson for masterful cameo - good to see he hasn't totally lost his B stature which he strongly enforces in the scene where he knocks over the mother and her baby stroller while trying to escape - well done Tim.

Overall, it is much better than you might expect.

This made for TV film is another in a long line of science fiction human versus nature films, and unfortunately it is not one of the best of the genre. The directing, cinematography, pacing, script, and acting are poor. It may fulfill cable TV's need to fill a time slot with inexpensive fare, but does not compare well with the vast selection of viewing available to the modern cable viewer.

Who will like this film? If you relish watching bad guys get their due, you'll get plenty of satisfaction. If you like films that are so bad that they are funny, you'll get plenty to mock and laugh at. If you love the B films of the 1950's, you might find this a entertaining way to waste ninety minutes. If you like the campy and quirky, check out Richard Chevolleau's portrayal of Q, the exterminator.

Chevolleau does a great job in the role and is a pleasant distraction in an otherwise dull and plodding flick. I did not recognize him as the same actor who played Marcus 'Augur' Deveraux in "Earth: Final Conflict" or Charlie in "Flowers for Algernon" (2000). His performance made me want to re-watch both.

Who will dislike this film? Any die hard science fiction fans will be disappointed by the lack of thought in the plot and the unoriginal scenario. Special effects junkies will be in heavy withdrawals by the cheap effects. The scientifically inclined will be at a loss with the weak to absent science and logic in this flick. Connoisseurs of fine film will be horrified than the horror occurred behind and in front of the lens.

In all, there is not much to recommend in "Swarmed." As I was voting at IMDb, I was conflicted in giving it as low a score as I did. If it was that bad, why did I watch the whole thing? Was it such a train wreck that I could not pry my eyes away? Was there a belief that it had to get better? In the end, it was one actor's performance and a desire to be intellectually honest in this review.

Should you watch? Well if you are actually thinking about it, probably not. This is more a movie for a mindless moment.

On the surface, this movie is about mutated wasps that make a huge swarm to kill people.

In effect,it is light comedy, and obviously done on purpose. This is one of those movies that has a lot of little things, and probably a lot in the background that I didn't bother noticing, but that the geeks surely will.

The formula story of the officials who refuse to believe in an emergency situation, straight from "Jaws", the ambitious reporter, the camera man who will do anything to get a camera shot, the few people who know what is going on that no one will listen to (which is actually true to life, which is what makes these movies work.) All of these are in this movie.

There are then the light hearted comic bits. The head honcho macho guy who has a spotter for his 65 pound bench press will crack up any gym goer. The attacks as seen from the bug's point of view is purposely comical. The girl using a rifle to shoot at a wasp. These and other little things make this formula movie almost bearable. It is possibly made for those who will try to spot little things. A great movie for the dorks, but with enough obvious comedy to appease the masses somewhat. Not a great flick, but not a bad one.

Okay, so this is not a great movie, but I have to admit I was engaged through the whole 90 minutes. It was also one of those rare creatures in that it was made for TV and never made it to TV, it went straight to the Movie Channel. You have to be tipped off by the size of the budget when the 'big' confrontation scene should have thousands of extras milling around but you can actually count them- less than 30 by my count. I'm a fan of any mutated creature film: fish, insects, rodents, whatever, so I HAD to watch this one. The special effects were pretty good for the most part but not great. The acting is also not great but less wooden that in all those '50's movies I love like Them and Kronos. There are holes in the plot you could drive a wasp through but without them there wouldn't be a movie. And by 'them' I mean both plot-holes and wasps. I think if you are a fan of mutated creature movies it won't supplant your favorites but because there aren't that many made you have to see it. If you aren't a fan, give it a pass because it doesn't have any interesting sub-plots (it doesn't actually have any sub-plots) to keep you interested.