Royal Kill

So my wife goes online and the films rated 4/5 stars on our local rental site, so she sends me out to get it. I wish I'd bothered to read the stars names. If I'd known Eric Roberts was the leading star, I would have never picked it up.

After a confusingly stupid intro that would be an insult to the intelligence of anyone who has read a menu at Wendy's, ten minutes into the movie, we still have no idea what's going on. Other notable points, sometimes the video looks like it's shot with a cheap handycam, the sound is awful when they're inside, the acting is painful...there's basically zero plot, fine, I can deal with it (I knew it was an action movie when I rented it) , I'll fast forward to the action... 5 minutes fast forwarding at 30x speed.. no action... another 2 minutes, finally! an action scene! Back to normal speed, and... what a disappointment. There's no real fight, just some shadowing stuff and then a guy jumps through a candy glass door. Wow... take that Ninja assassin!! 30 seconds later, I'm off the couch and back on my way to the video store to demand a refund or replacement. The rental clerk says, we usually don't do exchanges.. I explain how bad it was to him and that I only watched about 15 minutes before turning it off, so he makes an exception. He says next time just say it's scratched or something. I think to myself, If I'd scratched the DVD, I would have been doing the world a huge favor!!

This movie is a Rorshach test. Every viewer will have a different opinion, although no one's opinion will be "best film ever." It's one of those movies you can watch and then talk about for an hour.

The movie has one big problem: terrible, terrible, direction. We almost turned it off after 15 minutes. I'm no director but, c'mon man, stop filming people walking and walking and walking. I don't know of any rule that you have to make movies a certain length. If there is one, don't make the movie longer by filming people walking. The whispering is also annoying. C'mon folks. Use your big people voices.

From the reviews I read I was pretty sure there were no Ninjas in this movie. That wasn't a surprise. I wanted to watch this because I read it was Mr. Miyagi's last movie. I thought maybe Daniel-san would come in and win the tournament at the end.

After about an hour of this being the worst movie ever, the plot twist made it kind of interesting. It explained a lot of the crappiness at the beginning of the movie. It explained some of Mr. Miyagi's earlier incoherent babbling which really seemed like bad editing at the time. It explained some of the campy fx at the beginning. Unfortunately, it couldn't explain or fix the bad directing.

It's too bad that this director ruined what could have been a really good film.

If you're going to watch it, here's some advice. Make fun of it for an hour (ala MST3K) to pass the time. Then, if the plot twist gets you interested you'll enjoy the rest of the film. If not then just keep making fun of it. Sometimes the bad movies are fun to watch just for the sake of making fun of them.

I don't know what the previous viewer was watching, and writing about, but it certainly wasn't anything to do with this poor show of a film.

This film to me personally was a complete waste of time, and I wish to have the wasted time back of my life that I wasted watching this poor, poor film.

I watched the beginning, thinking, OK, keep open minded, its a storytelling kind of film, and hoped that things would make sense, but to me, and my intellect, which I would say is above average as a film critic, I hoped the story would materialize, but it failed on every possible count. I found myself shaking my head in disbelief almost all the way through this film.

The two known actors in the film obviously did not read their scripts fully Im sure, and were possibly under the impression that this film was going to be big, but with poor special effect, and embarrassing CGI, the whole thing was awful.

If your into fighting films, forget it, the moves were something you would fine in a home movie.

Terrible film, which solely relied on music to help, and the sound track was way off too.

I am at a loss as where to start... OK the acting, I didn't recognise any of the actors apart from Eric Roberts and Pat Morita (and they only had small parts). The quality of the other actors was fair I guess given what they had to work with.

The story; I am not sure what the story was about apart from the very basic assassin has to kill target and guardian has to protect target, fairly straight forward, there was a minor twist here but nothing to write home about and it didn't really make a lot of sense.

The action. Well it's billed as an action / thriller but there is nothing thrilling involved and the action that there is; is well limited. One scene was well lit and you could see what was going on, it was below par though, the other scene was in the dark (like a lot of the film) so you couldn't see how bad it was.

The explosion - yes there is one explosion and it wasn't too bad as explosions go, I gave it 1 star for the explosion.

Summery: I wouldn't waste your time, it's dull and boring; in fact it makes it into my bottom 5 movies of all time list.

I'd like to start by saying "LOL".

Me and some of my friends had a lot of laughs watching this movie. Although it was not intended by the movie director I'm sure.

This is one of those movies I had to write a little review of. It's filled with cheesy lines and more cheesy scenes. I don't know why the original title was "Ninja's creed. I didn't see anything ninjaish in this movie. I really don't understand "wonderyears123456" who has written a good review. Either he/she is part of the cast/crew, or not in his/her right state of mind. I was going to say pothead but I stopped there. It should not be summarized as "Very different", but "Very cheesy". Although I must admit that the music was in fact very catchy (maybe the only good in this movie). The famous actors "Eric Roberts" and "Pat Morita" aka Mr.Miyagi as "wonderyears123456" described, are not so very famous in my book.

This movie should be nominated for the "cheesy movie award of the year" for poor writing, poor directing, poor acting and poor title.

If your looking for a cheesy movie to laugh at, then this is a good choice. Otherwise don't wast your time.