Questa casa non è un albergo

Not only is this a French comedy, but it is also the MOST French movie ever made. It's is French in every way. A husband and wife take their teenage son and daughter to a seaside resort on the Riviera for the summer. The mother is totally French with her unshaved armpits, pot smoking, adulterous affair, and the way she so easily and casually talks about sex with her kids. The daughter leaves the resort early on in the film after she climbs onto the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle to ride to Portugal. The son has long, thick, curly hair and is completely sexually confused when he invites his gay friend, Martin, to stay for the summer. And the dad is the most French of them all. He watches Martin masturbate in the shower, and then reunites with his gay lover from his youth. Oh, and there's singing and dancing, too. If you love French comedies, this is the definitive. If, on the other hand, masturbation, adultery, and homosexuality make you uncomfortable, this may not be the film for you.

The French have always been able to take issues involving sexuality, fidelity, relationships, and youth and create a healthy fun discussion: Hollywood still has problems even approaching these subjects, much less allowing itself to be lighthearted and universal. 'Crustaces et coquillages' (COTE D'AZUR) is a little French film that addresses these subjects in a manner so light and fun that the viewer wonders what all the puritanical fuss is about! It is summer on the Cote d'Azur and a fun couple Marc (Gilbert Melki) and Béatrix (Valeria Bruni Tedeschi) are vacationing in a wonderful beach house with their teenage kids Charly (Romain Torres) and Laura (Sabrina Seyvecou) where Marc lived as a youth. Laura immediately takes off to Portugal with her biker boyfriend and Charly spends his days with his friend Martin (Edouard Collin), an openly gay teenager who is in love with Charly. Beatrix observes the boys' interactions and decides her son is gay, a fact that doesn't bother her at all but that seems to cause problems for Marc. Béatrix's lover Mathieu arrives on the scene, declaring his desire for Beatrix to leave Marc: Beatrix isn't so sure - she loves Marc and her family, but also wants her summer lover.

In a series of hilarious shower sequences Charly pleasures himself, and indeed the entire crew in the house does the same, and Martin's advances to Charly are rebuffed forcing Martin to seek outlet at the beach's notorious fort section. Marc decides to thwart Charly's excessive 'use' of the shower and unplugs the hot water. Charly calls a plumber Didier (Jean-Marc Barr), who just happens to be the hunky ex-lover of Marc, having had a gay affair before Marc married Beatrix. In following each other around, Charly discovers Martin and Didier and then Marc and Didier en flagrant and then walks in on Beatrix and Mathieu: everyone's secret is out! But instead of a disaster, the cast suddenly breaks into a silly showbiz musical number blaming all the infidelities and facets of love on the 'violets' (the aphrodisiac of oysters!). It is a cuckoo ending and would have been a better film without it, but the acting is all so rich and fine and the story is so well told, that this little diversion can be excused. This is a fun fling, with a superb cast having a good time (especially the extraordinarily gifted Valeria Bruni Tedeschi). The story makes us laugh and think - all in a setting that is like a dream vacation! Enjoy and have fun! Grady Harp

This film is about a family's summer holiday in the south of France turning into a series of shocks, when their secrets of their love lives are revealed.

"Mariscos Beach", as this film is called in Hong Kong, is a lighthearted and funny film. The plot needs no crude or gross jokes, it just makes people laugh by surprises. I find it funny when the parents behave more rebelliously than their teenage son! The drama side of the plot, which involves the family tension and the relationship between husband and wife is also engaging. "Mariscos Beach" is a film about acceptance, finding one's true self and loving each other despite differences. It made me smile from my heart.

Some sauce is going on, and gay going on. Is girly haired son Charly a? No, turns out his dad is.

"Its nice being bored on holiday" says Mother to Charly. No it isn't. You've got to be up to something. Have your skinny balding lover arriving for some shagging on the rocks; he keeps his flat cap on.

More jerking off in the shower (friend Martin) Dad is getting stiffies watching and imagining.

More jerking off in the shower (Dad now) It's a beautiful world this Cote D' Azur if you lay back, and do who or whatever you want.

Occasional "step outside the frame" song and dance routines occur to inflate light-hearted larkiness but come across as looking ludicrous.

"Silly soufflé of seaside shenanigans, sexy secrets, and jerking off in the shower" would be my strap line.

I learnt that sea violets are a soft shellfish.

I'm scratching my head why BBC4 showed this.

COTE D'AZUR is a simply charming romantic comedy. A family of four escapes for a summer vacation at a seaside villa and find that romantic adventures are the main excursion. The film's director provides a light, magical tone that allows enchantment and reality to mix effortlessly. The performances are all first rate as well, giving us a realistic family unit without sacrificing individuality. The plot is both original and surprising, taking both the viewer and the characters in unexpected directions. The balance here is superb. Even a detour into musical comedy fits neatly into the fabric of this likable film. Credits roll over a surreal song and dance that will have the viewer wishing they, too, were visiting the COTE D'AZUR.