All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos

Okay..the Sci Fi channel saw fit to get rid of MST3K, Thriller, and a host of actually well made programs, only to replace them with putrid crap called "made for Sci-Fi" movies. Seriously, has even one of them been watchable? Ed Wood made better horror movies. Low budgets, and bad acting abound. This feces of a movie is poorly directed, poorly written, and incredibly boring. I could have produced better special effects in my basement. Compared to "Sci Fi Channel" movies, "Lifetime" movies, as horrible as they are, are Emmy winners. Yes, as much as they suck, I'd rather watch Melissa Gilbert and Meredith Baxter Birney movies than anything that's "made for Sci- Fi". Not that the Sci Fi channel is a total loss, at least they still air the "Twilight Zone" and "Kolchak". (Now, if they'd just quit trying to make movies, and bring back Night Gallery)

I have to be honest. I only watched this because of Danny Trejo. I would watch paint dry if he was the one painting. He only has a small part of the film, even though he was the primary star.

For a zombie film, it was a disappointment.

There were several beauties in the film like Nichole Hiltz, Laura Harring, Marisa Ramirez, and Ellie Cornell. Unfortunately, we didn't get any titillation as we would expect in a B horror film.

The zombie action was pretty lame for the most part. There was very little blood except at the end. I would have expected more. It just seemed that it was basically a story about revenge.

Vargas (Danny Trejo) sells out the people of the town he's a despot of when he lets them all get blown up in exchange for immortality. Fast forward 50 years and we find a family complete with sexy slutty daughter and asshole son who stops at the aforementioned town to check into a inn after a long day of traveling only to never check out. Fast forward yet another 50 years, and we're introduced to another couple who's car brakes down so they have to stay at the same inn To say that this film is disjointed is putting it mildly. To say the only actors worth anything at all (Trejo, Jeffrey Combs) are all underused in this movie, is a travesty. Writer Mark Altman sandwiched this film in between House of the Dead and House of the dead 2, and if that, my friends, doesn't say everything about what to expect from this movie, I don't know what else to say. You know what? I may have not liked Director Kasten's previous "the Attic Expeditions", but that film, as bad as it may be, still runs circles around this one.

My Grade: D

Eye Candy: Danielle Burgio and Mircea Monroe provide the T&A, while Marisa Ramirez only shows her breasts

EXCELLENCE is what you should have expected.

I mean why wouldn't you? With such mavericks of creativity like Mark A. Altman (forget Clerks, Free Enterprise is where it's at. Kevin Smith who?) and Jeremy Kasten (director of the musical short Gayosity, which one crafty IMDb contributor reminds us that the five songs, all elaborate production numbers, were written, shot, scored and laid into the film in less than 24 hours), how could this project have gone wrong? Well, worry not. It didn't! Everyone is in great form here. The cast is pitch perfect. Travis Wester reminds me of a young Matthew Perry but the real winner here is Marisa Ramirez who hits it home with a perfectly layered, nuanced performance that had me on the verge of tears not once but twice. I only hope that their heads don't get TOO big on the success of this picture that they won't return for the sequel. Don't you hate it when that happens? I don't want to say too much more because its hard to really say anything at all without giving everything away. If you thought House of the Dead was good, you're SERIOUSLY in for the shock of your life (which is a good thing!).

If you're serious about cinema, go to your local videostore and demand they get you copy of All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos post haste! If that fails, call up your local cable or satellite provider and ask them when it might air on one of their channels. If they have no idea what you're talking about, just refer them to this review and read it for them (they will totally get it after that).

To the producers: Bravo! Hats off to all ten of you producers, you are all truly inspiring. If you would like to get in contact with me about sending a film crew to my house to film a commercial about how much I love the movie, my contact details are available in my IMDb profile.

OK so the only reason I even considered seeing this film was because I discovered Ellie Cornell was in it. I love her in Halloween 4 and 5 and than she took a very long break and came back with a very monotone performance in ultra trashy camp fest House of the dead. So I fgured she was in it and could ensure the film some laughs. Sadly, she's only in the first ten minutes though. but the film manages to be unintentionally funny on it's own and in some respects just not that bad. Besides the fact that the characters are dumb as doornails the film features a decent premise, an attractive cast and some good makeup. The direction is pretty bad, but the cinematography and score are surprisingly confident. A young couple on the way to a family gathering get into a small accident in a small town in Mexico. They become stranded there when they find a tortured young woman and their car won't start. they are instructed to stay at the town's hotel for the night while the day of the dead celebration commences. yada-yada- yada. Their friends come and the dead come to life. Nothing to original with a decent crypt- esquire twist. But You've gotta love the hammy dialogue and acting especially between the women in this film, or the old woman with a crazy axe. For the film's biggest laugh check out the blonde girl's escape from the house. Pure camp here people, love it or hate. It is what it is.