Hell Ride

To say this movie is bad would be to simplify matters to the extreme and with the exception of Hell Ride's plot, nothing in this life is that simple.

So what's wrong with it exactly... Larry Bishop. The guy must have balls the size of two small dogs to think he could pull this off. Bikes, beer and booty makes for one great cocktail but bikes, beer, booty and bishop... not so good.

The story is interesting, the theme is great, the cast, characters and acting are over the top but welcome, hell, even the directing is good but Larry, why did you have to put yourself in it as the lead? Casting yourself as the lead is a step too far. This isn't going to get you any leading actor roles but will most certainly deem you to a life of character bit parts and walk ons. Larry successfully delivers some of the most ham-fisted dialogue in the most atrocious of displays of acting ever witnessed on celluloid. I can't even bring myself to disgust the batman-esq vocal shenanigans but it's poor.

I am beginning to meander almost as badly as this movie. So in a nutshell: Great cast, great concept, compelling direction, terrible, terrible lead acting.

While most critics were harsh on hell ride,i thought it was a really good biker movie,sort of reminded me of the 1970's biker flicks by American international.a very good cast led by Micheal Madson,and smaller roles by Dennis Hopper and David Carridine.pretty violent and has the Quentin Tarentino trademark.would have been a good drive in flick.features some great music on the soundtrack like cc rider.which was a biker movie from 1971,with Joe Namith,and William Smith,if you like good biker flicks and exploitation,then hell ride is for you.all i can say is i liked it.and i like Tarentino movies.too bad William Smith and Peter Fonda were not in this.but then again it still works.7 out of 10

Everything negative written about this movie is true, but mainly based on high expectations ("Tarantino" in the titles is absolutely misguiding). However if you have some free time, cola or beer and snack, do not expect ANY fresh idea from a movie and just want to relax - you can go and watch it without hesitations. No really, that's the good "upper B-class" with all attributes of biker's movie like dust, guns, leather jackets, shootings in desert and babes. Authors even added another "cool" killing device similar to cattle gun in "No Country for Old Men". Protagonist's ("Pistolero") face is so sour like he has been fed half-a-dozen of lemons through his rectum, but other actors honestly do their job. Just don't expect anything else besides of features described above and you likely to be satisfied.

Director/lead Larry Bishop tried way, way too hard with Hell Ride. The movie wants to be edgy, witty, provocative, outlandish, biting all of this, seemingly in a Quentin Tarantino/Rob Zombie style. But it's not edgy. The references seem forced. The dialog tries to be clever and fails. The humor is never funny. Nice try setting a gritty tone but we'd have to care about the characters or the story for it to remotely succeed.

What you're left with are cool Harleys and pretty girls surrounding a bunch of tired, old and out of shape "bad boys" in what looks like an attempt to do a modernized Sergio Leone western. If this movie can make newer generations interested in 60s and 70s films, kudos for it. But on its own, it is rather boring and irrelevant. I do believe there is a place for style over substance. But this movie is not it.

I honestly do not get why so many people are upset with this film. Its rough, its ridiculous, its over the top, and its a great ride! I admit its not film-making that will change the world- but its a gritty exploitation film, and for anyone who's gotten a kick out of "Devils Rejects," "Kill Bill" or the "Desperado" series this is at least worth taking a peak at.

The cast is all great- Bishop, Balfour and Madsen make a cool trio, each stealing the show at different moments, Dennis Hopper really gives a memorable and entertaining performance, and Carradine shines in a very (darkly) funny cameo. Vinnie Jones is good, he could have been given more to do, but he is entertaining and handles his weapon of choice quite expertly. The story, well- its simple. Its a revenge tale, and an excuse for lots of mayhem and carnage to take place. Again, if you want a gritty, rough around the edges exploitation flick, I do not know what else people are expecting. The story serves its purpose, and keeps the audiences entertained for the hour and a half it plays out. The dialogue does get a bit overly cheesy at points, but that really only adds to the charm of this absurd film- it'll make you laugh, it'll make you puzzle, but I never found any lines to be so distracting that I could not enjoy the film.

So see it if you know what you're getting into! There's a hell of a lot of violence, far far far more nudity, disgusting language and a good amount of despicable anti-heroes. For the type of film that it is, it is very well done and very entertaining! I heartily recommend it for a good, demented time at the movies. I only wish it'd get a wider release, Im lucky I got to see it at all!