Snakes on a Plane

I was quite looking forward to this film as I enjoyed David R. Ellis' previous film Cellular and the poster and idea for Snakes on a Plane is just pure high-concept trash. I could have been great, but I was surprisingly bored through-out. I do like popcorn movies, but the popcorn has to taste good and this bucket just has far too much venom in it for me.

After Final Destination 2 and Cellular, David R. Ellis seems to be New Line Cinema's king of B-movies. Since the departure of Ronny Yu from this project, he seemed like the most logical choice. And while he does use some innovative ideas (such as the pretty cool 'snake vision') the film is too darkly shot and edited like a blur. I don't find death to be funny and expected a stronger 'man vs nature' subtext to it. What we get is a man being bitten on the penis and stoners bitten while joining the Mile High Club. And the sudden, stinging attacks never seem to frighten. The first few kills are crass and exploitative and it spoils the mood for the rest of the film.

I know I am being ridiculous criticising a no-brainer film such as this in such a way but even low-grade B-movies like Anaconda and it's sequel managed to be more scary and exciting than this. The characters are set-up in the typical horror film way and it's obvious which ones are going to die one by one. And while their deaths appear to violent, you never REALLY see anything shocking. A film with such an eccentric title really should have gone to crazy, far-fetched extremities and delivered loads of gore. But it never truly seems like it does. The majority of the film seems taped together from various different writers ideas and some scenes definitely feel tacked on after principal photography.

Films set on panic-stricken planes are abundant (Exec Dec, Passenger 57, United 93, Con Air, Die Hard 2) and scenes of crash landings and decompression are nothing new to audiences. The presence of Snakes doesn't make it much different.

Plus, Trevor Rabin's score is total crap. Plain and simple. Uninspired, generic rubbish completely without theme, melody, excitement our even coherence in it's endless bombasticness. I had great hopes for him when he did such brilliant work (actually co-composing) on Con Air and Armageddon, but he's fast proving to be talentless.

Samuel L. Jackson is brilliant as always and the under-rated Julianna Margulies is quite bloody gorgeous, more so than more popular Hollywood actresses. Lin Shaye (a popular New Line actress, since her husband runs the studio) has more to do than usual in the role of a heroic stewardess and those of you who like her more comedic roles will find this a welcome change. Though there's not much else I can recommend.

After all the internet-nerd hype surrounding this film, it fails to live up to potential and expectations. Quite a disappointment!

I'm confident that "Snakes on a Plane" will prove once and for all that Internet culture and mainstream culture are not one and the same.

Because, my friends, the Internet will tell you that SOAP (as those in the know call it) is a classic film - the best "bad movie" ever made. But I think any more sensible member of the general public will tell you that SOAP is nothing more than a mildly competent action movie. It's not hysterically funny. It's not scary. It's occasionally exciting. And it sure ain't a "10" on the IMDb scale.

Don't misunderstand me; I had fun watching the movie. I was even willing to be generous, until I saw the outrageously high rating on this site and all the strangely gushing reviews. Frankly, I'm a bit astonished. Why heap such praise on this particular film? If you love camp, over-the-top action movies, then why not worship a camp action film that's actually good? ("Wrath of Khan" springs to mind - also "Batman.")

The truth is that parts of SOAP are pretty lame. Samuel L. Jackson is good, but his role is weirdly small. And, aside from his one power catchphrase, most of his dialog is banal and dull. The rest of the actors aren't even worth commenting on, since they're stuck with stock and boring "funny" characters.

Speaking of dull, how many different ways can snakes really kill someone? They hiss...they lunge...they bite...over and over and over again. It's not particularly cinematic. And most of them are fake CGI anyway, so they're not even remotely frightening.

Face it, the only reason to see this is because it's camp and bad. It's part of the whole culture of worshiping lame junk that's prevalent right now. It's hip to like terrible garage bands and lame movies because people are either too impatient, or too unsophisticated, to take the time to absorb entertainment that's actually artistic. So we watch and listen to junk, and imagine that we're superior to it, and that makes us feel good. Apparently.

Is there anything wrong with liking junk? Not really - I review and praise junk on this site all the time. But putting junk on a pedestal? That's very, very wrong.

Sermon over.

Oh my god. I think I might still be a little excited, since I just got back from the advance screening of Snakes on a Plane. I want to preface this review by saying that IT'S NOT SERIOUS. DO NOT go to this film expecting to see some great, dramatic film because you'll be let down. However, if you want to go and see Samuel L. Jackson kick the holy sh*t out of snakes (on a plane) then this is the film for you. It's dumb B-movie summer fun, and it delivered it by the truckload. It knows it isn't serious (with that title, how could it be), and honestly, the whole time everyone involved is just having FUN with it. So go, sit back, have fun, and see some snakes (on a plane).

The plot on this bad-boy is razor thin with a pathetic, throw-away villain. After witnessing a murder, Sean (Nathan Phillips) is taken into protective custody by the FBI and more specifically, Jackson's Neville Flynn. He has to be flown from Hawaii to LA to testify and blah, blah, blah. Who cares, right? No one, seriously, NO ONE. Our villain, Eddie Kim, is worthless. We get two minutes or so of screen time from him. He's not the villain; the SNAKES are the villains!!!!! The real fireworks start when we GET ON THAT PLANE. You all know what's going to happen, so they don't waste (much) time building up to it. Eventually the snakes (on the plane) are released. People are bitten in hilarious and very painful fashion. Samuel L. Jackson has to control the situation in that bad-ass way that only he can, and he disposes of the snakes in downright hilarious ways (which I won't spoil, you have to see it to believe it). Most of your characters are generally stereotypes and some of the acting is wooden. Most of the characters are very clichéd and stupid as well, and they don't do the most logical things in the situations they are presented. But that's not what you care about. THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! What is important, is the fact, that there are SNAKES... ON A PLANE! It's cheesy, B-movie fun, and don't let anyone tell you any different. You want to see snakes on a plane, you're going to see snakes on a plane. Period. It also plays homage to some Jackson flicks of old, I'll let you decide which ones, since the scenes are obviously set up in that way. Try to think of other films Jackson has been in with reptiles.

The special effects were PRETTY good; it was obvious when you were looking at a CGI snake or a real snake, that much I can tell you. But it didn't matter. It doesn't take you out of the movie at all. The action is as good as you can expect from people whooping snakes and vice-versa. It was a good thriller, they kept it moving and didn't slow down, and they kept the tension riding high throughout the film. And it's FUNNY. It's funny if you expect it to be cheesy fun, and it is, and I was constantly laughing throughout. Even as snakes (on a plane) are killing people, you're laughing at it. It was just that good.

I don't know what else I can say about this, except that if you have the chance, SEE THIS FILM OPENING WEEKEND. Get a crowd in there that wants to have good, dumb, popcorn-movie fun and you will have a blast. My theater was off the hook, and it's seriously the most fun I've had at the movies in longer than I can remember. Go into this film knowing what it is and watch it with exactly that in mind and you'll have a GREAT time. Expect nothing from it and just let yourself have fun for a couple of hours. This film won't be the darling of the critics; it wasn't pre-screened because the makers KNOW what this film is and what they expect from it. I can't think of another instance where a film drew this kind of buzz on its title alone, and where everyone who went to see it completely knew it was going to be "so bad it's good." And it really is. Kudos to the studio that ordered re-shoots after all the buzz on the internet kicked in, it really shines. And thanks for the "line" which is quoted at the head of the review. Everyone in my theater said it with him, and EVERYONE was cheering.

Snakes on a Plane has landed. And it's good summer fun. With snakes. On a plane. Eight out of ten stars.

• Sgt. Fluffy

From the director who bought you the worst Final Destination movie, Snakes on a Plane is an exploitation flick that knows exactly what it wants to do and gets the job done expertly. It's not perfect and doesn't have to be, coupled with Samuel L. Jackson in tow; Jackson makes this movie far more than the disposable B-movie it was initially conceived as. He bestrides Snakes on a Plane with the authority of someone who knows the value of what he's appearing in with that signature fierce glimmer in his eye. Ridiculous in every sense of the word, Snakes on a Plane is nothing if not a riot with a few friends or after having down a couple of beers, yes it's stupid and yes it can be pretty sleep-inducing, but who honestly cares when it more than lives up to its title.

What can I say? I'm a secret fan of 'over the top' action and horror films. Especially when it comes with a lot of lots of humour and innuendo, but I'm not a fan of Snake on a Plane.

There are three potential draws to this film: • The comedy of the situation; • The horror; and • The novelty of hundreds of snakes being of a plane.

Firstly, this film isn't written as a tongue-in-cheek horror or a comedy, and there are only 1 or 2 points in the film where you'll smile to yourself. If you want to get the feel of the film, the trailer genuinely represents the movie, a horror.

Secondly, if you're expecting a film full of action and shocks, you won't be disappointed. It doesn't stand out above other movies, but it always keeps your attention.

Thirdly, Although the novelty of Snakes of a Plane doesn't wear off, but you'll leave the cinema thinking "what was all the fuss about".

I know this movie has a high rating, but it doesn't add up. A) Many of the reviews where written before the film was released and, B) The breakdown of user ratings has a lot less variation than normal 77% of people rating the movie 10/10, with only 7% of people giving it 9/10 - Why such an enormous gap?