Vampiyaz

This movie at first seems to be a real stinker. However you have to look at things from another perspective. Consider that all these characters are street people. They are used to certain situations and nothing else. Granted there were somethings that were confusing. Take the guy in the bunny suit. There really needed to be something to explain why he was, and who he was. Also why was the girl walking around on that dirt road? That aside, there were some very good ideas in the film. Such as the Vampire Master becoming a much more cerebral being. Hey you spend 8 years and not able to sleep and you would read a lot too. The hero who just cant seem to catch a break. The "Ghetto Fabulous" Renfield was a scream. I thought the Vampire Assault Team could have used some polish. They seemed disconnected, almost as if they were thrown together and had never done the job before. And for some reason the Team Leader seemed to be immolating Rosie Perez. But if you don't take them seriously, you don't really care. The movie is not about them, Vampiyaz is about a failed thief and a vampire he wants revenge on. The story was tied together nicely and it seemed to try to go for action but fell just short of the mark. The fights were thought out but not well acted.

All in all it was not a BAD movie. It just needs some work in some areas. This was a low budget movie that did the best it could with what was available, or so it seems.

Typically when sitting down to watch a low budget film, I have low expectations. This didn't even meet those. I think the DVD distribution cost more than the entire budget for the film.

First off the acting was straight out of a high school play. I can't figure out how you could let some of those scenes through. No one had a decent scene in the entire movie (that's not a joke).

OK, it's about vampires; you're not really looking for acting anyway. The special effects, well, also left over from a high school play, and in some cases condiments from lunch. The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and terribly acted out. The gun play is even worse. Look for the CG muzzle flares, big money.

Finally, the story…garbage. I've seen 3rd grade kids write better plot lines and dialog (especially involving vampires). It would have been OK had they totally cheesed out and went for comedy, but it's not. It's an attempt at some serious scenes. It's uncomfortably bad, you can't laugh at it, but it's so very terrible.

Stay away from this one, total waste of 2 hours.

Have the director/editor/producer/writer etc actually realised what a complete pile of **** they have produced.. honestly i have no words to describe the complete and utter dismal absurdity and awfulness of this joke.. I'm not going even going to refer to it as a film because people have strapped video cameras to wild animals and produced more entertaining pieces of film..

where do i begin!? the whole thing with the white guy in the baby suit?!!? what?!? the 'gun fights' which produced no noise, blood, sound, smoke... oh wait.. there was a popping noise that seemed to go off every now and then....was that relevant or was it some errand boy opening a packet of crisps offstage? some black guy with a plastic dolls hand (which appears everywhere, in every single scene) randomly licking strawberry syrup off a paper plate?!!? some woman in a wheel chair!? general pointless running into buildings which have coloured lamps in each room!? there is no obvious plot, horrific script (i think most of it was improv.. not that it shows or anything), stupid effects that I'm sure have been created random using tat from a corner shop, i think most of the costume (ie. vampire teeth, some amulet) came out of Christmas crackers. the Video camera skills are similar to that seen on You've Been Framed, no evident 'acting' to speak of, just monotonous pointless talking/rambling.

OK what else... honestly i don't even know why I'm wasting my time writing this, please just heed my warnings!! this film is NOT so bad its funny. it goes past that because the cast and crew are actually taking this seriously! i laughed for 1/4 quarter of it.. then i just got disgusted and bored. I'm glad i didn't pay money for this sorry excuse for a 'ghetto vampire film' AND MAKE SURE YOU Don't EITHER!!! bye bye (^_^)

I rented this because the title and box art just screamed "bad movie" and I was not disappointed.

For blood effects, I noticed a wide variety of food products, including strawberry jam, red kool aid, and katsup. Gun shot effects, as the previous user put it, look as though they were made by poking holes through the film. Vampire are people with plastic vampire teeth. This movie looks like it was made with a camcorder, they can't keep the camera from wobbling and it's enough to make you feel sick.

Acting is absolutely horrible. Dialogue probably wasn't scripted, but improved... badly. People screw up their lines and the camera keeps rolling as they repeat them two or three times until they get it right. In dialogue scenes outside where they cut back and forth between two people's faces while they talk, the background noise is different each time and there is a delay before each person talks so you can tell the conversation is segmented.

There is a lot of completely random crap throw in, a guy eating a fly, a guy stirring up a bowl of blood (katsup) with a rubber severed hand and licking the blood (katsup) off the rubber fingers.

There is a Deus ex machina every five minutes. Amulet that makes vampires invincible. Vampire killing task force. The main character is really good at cracking safes, and it just so happens that everyone in town uses the same exact safe.

I can't list everything that was wrong with this film, because the entire film was just a complete disaster. If you love the art of bad film as much as I do, you'll love this one; rent it with friends. No nudity though, which is a shame because there were a couple really cute girls. This was in my top 5 list of the worst movies I've ever seen. I hope they make a sequel.

I cannot even fathom the words to use to describe the exact level of horrificness of this movie. The script could pass for something produced in a 3rd grade class for "special" kids and the plot is about as creative and interesting as the mound of feces my dog dropped off in the yard about an hour ago. Many of the special effects could have been done better in Microsoft Paint....by a blind idiot. I was in awe of such terrible spectacles, such as the guy who kept licking the blood of a plastic hand; the baseball interrogation scene; the lion-roar-esquire sounds the female vampires made; the blue muzzle flash from the guns; the girl in the wheelchair who seemed to just evaporate at the end leaving nothing behind but blood on the wall which was nothing more than water with red food coloring....seriously. But my personal favorite was the extremely awful "bomb" that consisted of a egg timer,a computer printer cable, and a bar of ivory soap.... what the hell? I can only hope that when I am on my death bed, that god gives me an additional 83 minutes of life to make up for the tragic display I had to witness. The creator should be ashamed of himself as he upset Mariah Carey for creating a worse film than Glitter, which in comparison could pass as Citizen Kane. Do yourself, an society a favor and go to your local video store and ask the man (or woman, for this politically correct world) for all the copies of Vampiyaz, then proceed to toss them into a raging inferno, and to never be viewed again by human eyes. But please remember to recycle the plastic melted goo left over, it should have never been used in such a train wreck of a movie. Christ, this movie made me mad, and it's making me mad right now knowing I took the time to write this review. This movie makes suicide seem like a day of fun. Have a nice day.