7 Mummies

Two haggard old men are dragging a coffin full of gold coins out in the desert, long story short they're killed. Fast forward to present day which has 6 convicts escaping when their transport crashes in the same aforementioned desert. Taking the hot prison guard hostage, and on their way to the border of Mexico, they run into an elderly Indian (played by Danny Trejo!!) who tells them of how riches beyond their wildest dreams could be had buried under an old ghost town. They decide to take a detour to get this gold while Trejo laughs... for minutes on end. However all the denizens of said town are a little long in the fang, to say the least. The community headed by Drake (good ol' Billy Drago) has plans for these convicts. This flick while never something even approaching what someone might deem good, was enjoyable enough...up to a point. That point being when all the illogical nonsense going on got so high that I didn't know what the hell was going on, much less cared. It would have made an interesting 20 minute short MAYBE, but as a feature film, it meandered too often. Drago was the main draw for this one, as Danny Trejo, normally great, is just plain weird in the movie. Too make matters worse the nudity is very poorly lit.

Eye Candy: it's very darkly lit, but Ananda St. James does bare her humongous rack

My Grade: D+

First let me say I'm sorry for your pain and suffering if you have already seen this movie. The movie is no more than a poor at best attempt of an ongoing subject, Mummies and their curse. I'm still trying to figure out where the title "7 Mummies" comes from. Unless I missed something, which is possible since I had no problem going to the fridge without pausing this waste of time, I only counted 2 mummies. If the movie itself wasn't enough to make you cringe, the soundtrack will at the very least will give you a "headbanging headache".The bottom line is that if it weren't for Cerina Vincent and the "Vamp Tramps",it wouldn't have even gotten a 3! The best part of this movie other than looking Ms Vincent was the fact that it is only 80 minutes long. Good thing, I don't think I could have taken much more.

Having seen a lot of B movies, I can tell you that the idea of criminals on the run with a hostage encountering supernatural horror is not an original idea. But I wouldn't have minded seeing it again had this effort been well executed - which it isn't. It's a slow-moving story, and despite the slow pace the movie doesn't try to expand on the characters very much. In fact, I don't think you even learn the names of the prisoners! Movie also suffers from setting most of the movie in near-total darkness, which makes it hard to determine at times just what is going on. The rap and thrash metal songs on the soundtrack also seem out of place.

Oh, and if you are thinking of seeing this movie because you are either (or both) a fan of Danny Trejo or Billy Drago, be warned - Trejo just has basically one brief scene, and Drago's role isn't that much bigger.

The title says it all. Danny Trejo isn't the only similarity between FDTD and this bad copycat. The plot is so similar, the events almost exactly the same, it's almost funny.

It's starts like a action/criminal movie, and then, in some dark bar, it suddenly turns into a horror type of thing. Sounds familiar???

And it even isn't done very good. The acting is poor, the creatures are poor, hell, even Danny Trejo is poor.

So, as a horror fan, I can only give you 1 advice: Keep away from this movie. Actually, keep away from all movies that have "mummy" in their title

Having just watched Ted Mikels' film "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice", I was amazingly lenient when it came to viewing "Seven Mummies". That's because "Apartheid" and many of Mikels' other films are NOT on the IMDb Bottom 100 list--and should be. So, by comparison, "Seven Mummies" doesn't look THAT bad--but it still is bad.

The plot is the weird sort of concept that works best as a video game--sort of like "Red Dead Redemption Undead Nightmare". Seriously--which is the zombie western sequel to "Red Dead Redemption". It has plenty of shooting and violence and bloody gore, but as a film, it lacks plot and dialog--minor things that tend to make a movie worth watching! This movie begins in the present day with a group of prisoners escaping and heading into the desert. They wander into a strange western town--circa 1870. Now this SHOULD have been their first clue that this was NOT a town where they should stay. But, there are lots of hookers--and these sleazy men have been locked up for some time. So, they stick around for some fun--and in the middle of this, the townspeople become zombies of sorts--and the zombie prostitutes start tearing several of the prisoners apart. However, the townsfolk seem relatively easy to kill--and you don't even need a head shot! But, there are so many, they still don't seem to stand a chance. And, after a while, it all becomes more and more boring--as there is NO PLOT--just zombie/vampire/mummy folks trying to kill our anti-heroes. I say zombie/vampire/mummy because they eat flesh (so they must be zombies), they call each other vampires (ditto) and the film has mummy in the title (ditto). Whatever...all I know is that the film was, as I said, like watching a video game. Not much plot, terrible acting and dialog--I can see how it made the Bottom 100 list, but frankly it's not among the 100 worst films I've seen. Isn't it sad that there are MANY films worse than this?!