Green River

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Spielberg and 1 being a monkey throwing feces) I gladly rate this movie lower than 1. I collect low budget indie movies and can sit through pretty much anything, and every single time I think I've seen the worst, another comes along that tops it (or bottoms it in this case). No plot spoiling here because there is no plot. What you do have is 2 actresses who thought it would be a good idea to cut their teeth in the B movie world before moving onto bigger and better things. Only problem is, bigger and better for these two will mean working at an In-N-Out Burger joint for the rest of their lives because acting is now out of the question. In fact, I demand they reimburse me the 4 bucks I wasted on this movie..if you could call it that. I call it BS !!

I hate badmouthing a movie, especially if it's obvious that whoever made it didn't have a lot of money to work with. But whoever made this movie, apparently had the means to get two misleading reviews posted here, and as a result I just watched this garbage, so I'm really annoyed.

At first I gave it the benefit of doubt and assumed the acting was intentionally weird, as opposed to awful. After about half an hour, I started fast-forwarding, because it was so boring. When I slowed down to see the "powerful scenes alone in the cabin", I was left speechless. What a waste of my time.

Look if there's one thing I know it's that people are nuts. I don't want to give anything away so I'll keep this short. This movie is not as bad as the reviews I've been reading about it. The subject may not be for everyone, but it does a decent job of portraying something that makes some people uncomfortable. The film portrays something that could actually happen so maybe it's too scary for some people. This is not a glitz and glamour special effects enhanced movie. It's carried by the actors ability to convince you of whether they're capable of their roles. (=!Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill ~Buddha .=)

I'll preface this by saying I know these are amateur actors so I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt...

But I can't. This is a movie only in the sense that it's a series of shots that more or less follow each other, with what might be called dialogue. But the acting was some of the worst I've ever seen from the 2 leads, I wanted them to die immediately because they were so annoying. They constantly do things that no one in their situation would do if they were actually trying to survive. This is tbf something that alot of horror movies get wrong, but this movie gets everything else wrong too so don't excuse it.

What things you may ask??? Well there's the plot, I'd like to say the motivations make no sense, but we barely even know what they are. Character development does not exist in this movie. I have seen better in some video games like Resident Evil.

There is the mediocre camera work, it's like the director wanted to prove a point by having several similar shots in a sequence, but they appear choppy and repetitive and kind of irritated me. I kept waiting for it to get to the point and then there was no point. And like I said the characters constantly do things that make no sense, but they are supposed to be rational adults trying to survive in the wilderness??? Come on

It's disappointing because they did have an opportunity to make a cool movie that twisted the traditional "helpless girl lost in the woods running from killer" subgenre into something different where the roles are reversed. But then that attempt was probably discarded by what I assume was a new writer, except they tried to integrate it into what was already done and failed miserably. Well its one theory anyway. A different theory is this is the worst screenwriter in history.

Either way, I was mad at the people that made this, mad at Netflix for hosting it, and mad at myself for watching it. Wish I could erase this from my memory.

To the two reviewers who wrote positive reviews about this film: You're kidding, right? This has to be the worst movie I've ever seen. I was bored on the ride to the woods. These two actresses were so unconvincing as friends, that I found myself wondering why Charisma (surely this name deserved at least an explanation) and Allison (neurotic, unattractive, annoying, and a really bad actress inspired a new word: "bactress") would even be friends, much less travel into the woods together for what? a vacation? We are never told. No character development, no back story, no story whatsoever, and a predictable plot that has been done to DEATH: what was this director thinking? Low budget was not the problem here. The setting was the most interesting part of the movie. I can't remember when I've seen worst acting. I actually laughed out loud at "Allison's" attempts to act, and that actress had way too much screen time. I was hoping Jack would kill her to relieve my suffering. She was too annoying to be psychotic, and considering that Jack had been hit by a pick up truck, shot, stabbed, smacked around, and deprived of food and water for an entire day...I laughed some more at the ending because it's supposed to be what...eerie? shocking? ironic? surprising? NO, it was NONE OF THOSE because it was HORRIFYINGLY DEVOID of explanation, so much so that it was just confusing and further evidence of bad writing. There was so much opportunity to make a good thriller here, and it appears to be made by someone who didn't even care, someone with A.D.D., or someone who has never done this before. And car alarms don't run down batteries because they shut off after 10 minutes or so, OR, an owner can turn the alarm off with a remote switch from 15 ft. away. Come ON. And "Charisma" is not getting off the hook either. "Wanna take a shortcut? It's not as intimidating as it looks." One second later, she's fallen, and is hanging on by her fingernails begging her "friend" Allison to help her. Did the director look through the lens at that scene and say, "Cut. God job ladies. SO suspenseful. So...scary." I would have smacked Allison around and asked her, "What took you so long, b*tch?" And what kind of numb skull would you have to be to climb all the way to the top of a hill after an arduous hike through the woods only to burn up what's left of the cell phone battery listening to somebody's mother explaining how psychotic and dangerous her daughter is. Wouldn't it make more sense to say:"HEY, call 911 and send them to XYZ location NOW." So I'd say the writing was bad, the acting was very bad, and the directing was very, very bad. I'm so appalled that somebody would waste $5 making this film, that I can't write enough to tell anyone who's wondering: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS DRIVEL. You'll just be mad at yourself later. And to those of you who made this movie: don't give up those day jobs just yet because I watched every minute of your film, and I still don't know if Jack had anything to do with the disappearances of one, much less all, those girls on posters. That's too many women posted in a public place to escape notoriety...so, why would 2 young women see that, know that, and then go deep into the woods in that very same area where one of them lost a sister years earlier? Dumb.