Massacro al cimitero

"Cemetary Gates" is a movie that wants to be like 70's and 80's creature flicks like "Alligator" or "Prophecy". Well, it has a cool monster, and some nice gore effects, so where does it go wrong?

Well, for one thing, the comedy aspects of the movie really fall flat. Jokes such as the recording of a man's diarrhea, poorly done sex gags, and other such things hurt it considerably. Sure, horror and comedy can go together, but not when the jokes suck.

Also, the acting is pretty bad. Everyone seems unenthusiastic, especially Reggie ("Phantasm") Bannister as the scientist father. At least Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero are amusing as two stoner types.

Oh, and there are also the two annoying hillbilly characters that feel like a bad "MadTV" version of "Deliverence."

In the end, the movie is a major missed opportunity. If done with a better script and better characters, it could have been a winner. In the end though, that's all you get: Could have been.

Cemetery Gates can't be seen like a real movie. You must be drunk or doped so that you could not laugh about it. Terrible acting and lousy editing complements with a stupid story, dumb teens, dumb persons but with a good FX. Gore abounds and sometimes is really cheesy, other pretty good. Nevetherless you can't take this movie in consideration and the best way to see it is to make fun of it and to spit up a good dose of laughs... nothing more. The acting is beyond mediocre, the dialog is abominable and the only positive thing is the creature itself... even then you'll notice how bad screened it is sometimes.

You must see this low budget movie in a humorous manner and you must strip yourself off reality and stupidity. Actually it's better you see it with your friends if you want to have a good and freaky animated afternoon attended by a big pack of beers and kilograms of weed...

This movie really sucked and the money spent on it could have been injected into a charity center for homeless people or an orphanage...

When two ecologists break-in the laboratory of Dr. Belmont (Reggie Bannister), they find a box with a subject and they decide to set the experiment free in the woods. During the transportation, the box opens and releases the mutant Tasmanian Devil that devours the two activists and escapes to the woods. Meanwhile, Dr. Belmont's son Hunter (Peter Stickles) travels in a van with four friends to film a horror movie in the cemetery in the woods, while Belmont and his associate Dr. Christine Kollar (Aime Wolf) seek their deadly experiment called Precious.

The underrated trash "Cemetery Gates" is a cheesy, funny and gore B-movie with a silly story, average acting and a stereotypical stupid blonde with hilarious lines and nice breasts performed by the sexy and hot Kristin Novak. I have had lot of fun watching Precious tearing apart her victims, the quantity of blood and the dialogs of August and her friends. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "O Portão do Cemitério" ("The Cemetery Gate")

Environmental wackos release a giant, genetically-enhanced Tasmanian Devil in this would-be comedy horror film. I think the filmmakers were trying to make the next "Army of Darkness" or "Shaun of the Dead," but the humor wasn't strong enough to compensate for the implausible and coincidence-ridden story. I might be giving the plot more consideration than the filmmakers themselves, but isn't it a little far-fetched that the monster would be stolen from the laboratory and released at a cemetery where the son of mad scientist who created it was filming a low budget horror film? And that the son considered the monster his pet until it killed his mother. At least the scientist father is played by Reggie Bannister. His presence gave the film a touch of class. The film also suffers from the fact that the vast majority of victims had no bearing on the plot whatsoever. They were just passerbys. I did enjoy the bit were the new agers take drugs to call forth a spirit animal, only to see the monster as an animation. The Hillbillies, however, were so over the top that they made the cast of "Two Thousand Maniacs" seem restrained by comparison. The main problem, however, is the monster itself. I know this film was essentially a comedy, but the monster was ridiculous -- especially in long shots where it was obviously a man in a suit walking on all fours. The monster was about as scary as the shrews in "The Killer Shrews." Along those same lines, some of the gore effects were good, but it obvious the monster isn't really digging into the people when it is clawing them. I'd take the Tasmanian Devil in the Warner Brothers cartoons over this thing any day.

Firstly, this film is not going to win any Oscars for its acting or storyline or best creature of the year, but on the other hand if blood and guts and a little humour thrown in is your thing then this might be the flick for you. we have four young males, two females, one is the intelligent type and the other is the dumb blonde bimbo, out to make a film in a cemetery. nearby we have a couple of animal activists who break into a lab and release an animal who has been experimented on and is now a blood thirsty killer roaming the forest.sure enough what we get is a bad looking animal killing every thing it sees. i have to say the death scenes are very gory, limbs ripped out there sockets, intestines spewing out, decapitations and buckets of blood. as i said the story and acting isn't great but if you love your horror films to be gory then this may be for you.