Dr. Moreau's House of Pain

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain (2004)

* (out of 4)

Eric Carson (John Patrick Jordan) goes looking for his brother who has gone missing after visiting Dr. Moreau (Jacob Witkin). Pretty soon he sees the horrible creations caused by the doctor as well as getting lucky with the sexy panther woman (Lorielle New).

DR. MOREAU'S HOUSE OF PAIN is pretty much what you'd expect out of a low-budget movie from Charles Band. If you're familiar with Band's work then you should know what to expect here. You've basically got a very low-budget movie that is "borrowing" from countless other films. Obviously this one here is a take-off on the H.W. Wells but one shouldn't be expecting anything like previous versions of the story.

The film's small budget seems to have had most of the money spent on the actual look of the film. It's quite colorful and I must admit that it looked rather good. The biggest problem with the film is its overall tone, which is just bad and not all that entertaining. Even worse are some of the special effects and the creatures just aren't all that believable. Even worse is that you really just don't care about the lead character, his brother or any of his problems.

I will say that the one saving grace was the performance by New. Obviously she's a very beautiful woman and her nude scenes are a welcome but I thought she was also good in the role.

I cannot imagine how any sane human being could enjoy this film. Its insane crappiness induces vomiting. A man with giant knees would make more sense than the monsters in this film. Don't get me wrong, I like my share of cheesy movies, but this one was just too awful even for me. I watched this movie hoping for a fun and amusing horror flick. What I received was one of the worst moments in my life. At one point during the movie I convinced myself that if the movie did not end in less than 10 minutes, i would jam a fork in my eye. I urge anyone who finds this film on a store shelf to buy it, break it into 1000 tiny pieces, and scatter them across the ocean. If not for me, do it for the children.

If your goal is to rent something bad and critique it then go find a TROMA film and have at it! If, on the other hand you like being pleasantly surprised at what can be done on a low budget then this film is an excellent example.

Charles Band is- an inconsistent director. Some of the films he's done are crap but others are Brilliant and explain his high status in the industry. Dr. Moraeu's House of Pancakes is a very watchable very enjoyable film with better than average Make-up fx and NO CG! not any to speak of anyway. The Make-up effects while conceived by old favorite John Buechler are fleshy and visceral and more than competently done by Veteran Bruce Barlow considering the budget and shooting schedule. Sets and art direction are key to what make this such a fun watchable movie and Mac Ahlberg's lighting and photography bring this to the caliber of many of it's bigger budgeted rivals. Judge for yourself!

worst movie i ever saw. period. i am not kidding around here. i bought the movie used because i figured a movie with a pig-man on the cover had to be hilariously bad. me and some friends tried watching it but everything about the movie was so terrible we had to turn it off. the acting was poor at best. the characters were morons. (who would have sex with a pig man and expect it to keep a promise of freedom?) the monsters were inconsistent, in one shot it would be covered in slime-garbage and the next it would be dry. i actually had to force myself at a later time to watch the whole thing just to see how bad it was. i actually felt sick after watching this movie which has never before or since happened. this DVD became a thing we would trick people into getting it among me and my friends, i hid it in a big stuffed animal, sewed it back up and gave the stuffed animal to a friend. after awhile he discovered what i had done when i began to hint at it. he tried to get a family member to wrap it up and give it to me for xmas but my brother discovered the plot due to carelessness of my mother so my friend drove past another friends house and threw it on his lawn. it got back to my first friend somehow and he threw it in the trash, right were this movie belongs.

Director Charles Band has pulled off a terrific bit of sleight of hand in Dr. Moreau's House of Pain. Yes there are Pig People, guts and gore, lots of nudity etc., etc., but what makes this little film special is that Band has made a terrific homage to the film noir films of the forties. Color, (did he use technicolor? the color is perfect), costumes, hair styles and dialogue are all out of 1947, and the actors play their parts as though they were Alan Ladd, Gail Russell and Lizabeth Scott! The premise is silly in this the what, fourth go-round of a Dr.Moreau film, but the execution, (no pun intended), is really top notch and on a par with much more expensive films.

Congrats Charles Band and all who worked on this film. Not to sound too 1940's, but you all did a "swell" job!