Vampires vs. Zombies

I like zombie movies, and I like vampire movies, so when I saw a movie called Vampires vs Zombies, I had to rent it, even though I knew it would be low budget and probably kind of silly. One thing I absolutely demand from a movie with the title of Vampires vs Zombies and a tag line of "the war between the undead has begun", is that vampires and zombies actually fight. There might have been vampires in the movie (the ending left that ambiguous), and there were certainly zombies, but they never really fought, and there certainly wasn't a war between them. The zombies didn't seem to be of particular concern to anyone, even though you hear the occasional news report about the dead coming back to life, you don't see anyone barricading their houses, or trying to find a safe place, people mostly go about their daily business, and the zombies are a minor irritant, like mosquito's. There is some decent lesbian action, and this chick with black hair shows up in a couple of dream sequences, and she's super hot, so it kept me watching for that reason alone. The movie was really bad, and didn't deliver what the title and tag line promised, just skip it and get a lap dance instead.

I really have no idea how to comment on this movie. The special effects were lackluster, the acting was terrible and if there was a plot to it all, it was on the back of the box. I don't think I can remember a movie being THIS bad in a long time, and I'm a big fan of lesbian sex and boobies!! ;) Even that couldn't save this movie from being just a terrible excuse to pay someone to stand (or lay in this case) in front of a camera.

I was pretty much let down by the overall "zombie" effect. Since apparently in this movie, zombies are so commonplace that running over a couple here and there, and casually talking about it at a gas station (one with an in-house windshield repair but no interior bathroom), the zombie-movie genre isn't even a factor until the end. Even then, a cameo by a dozen zombies ripping off a girl's clothes doesn't really constitute being a zombie movie.

On to the vampires: Apparently all the zombies are male and all the vampires are female, which is OK by me. I'm not sure how vampires are out in the daylight, or the why/how of a soldier vampire came to be standing in the middle of the road, still holding his gun with a stake through his heart, just waiting for the Queen of the Vampires to flick it all the way through. The last segment in the old nunnery made no sense, and when one hot lesbian vampire asks the other hot lesbian vampire "Do you think we did the right thing?" by killing the two apparent heroes in the movie, that about put it over the top.

The acting and special effects were at an all-time low also. You could almost see the hoses that the fake blood was pumped out of during the closeup of the zombie who got ran over by the General. Speaking of the General, where did they find THIS Kenny Rogers look-alike anyways? No idea what he was the General of, aside of generally confusing and misplaced.

All in all, watch the movie if you have nothing better to do or if you have the strong urge to waste $3. Just my $0.02.

The above seemed a much more appropriate title when me and my suicidal underlings decided to watch this masterpiece of modern bullshit.

Erotic, scary, suspenseful, well thought out, these are all the things this film fails to be.

It is however incredibly funny. The slow sound effects and bad dubbing add to this to make one of the greatest comedies I have seen in recent years. And yet this film doesn't even offer and attempt at humor and that is one of the movies grand achievements, it becomes a comedy without even trying to amuse.

Throughout the film, an old guy who looks amazingly like Santa Claus goes around ploughing over zombies and smashing vampires into the ground. This made me fail to believe the films title, if this was vampires vs zombies why were vampires and zombies not fighting? Oh well, whatever, besides there were more flaws to this rental than the title.

Such as this one; there has been a virus sweeping through America creating zombie like beings who go around acting a lot like your average tourist. However there are only four zombies in the entire film. Another problem is besides one shop the entire set is deserted. Surely you'd see zombies roaming about in the woods or in the background a bit? It honestly seemed like they just drove around in a circle of forest over and over again since they didn't have a high enough budget to film in a wider location. It was that or the director didn't want to waste his precious time filming in different areas of wood. He was to busy sitting in a trailer jerking off to be bothered with such trivial matters.

Seemingly the director had so much fun doing this that he didn't have enough time to hire a big enough cast or even an editor. And so he told the eight members of the cast to dress up as different people and try not to act inconspicuous, whilst I assume he changed his name and began randomly snipping at the film reels "editing isn't a hard job anyway right?" The only reason this "movie" found it's way into our bag was because somehow we got it confused with Freddy vs Jason, strange how these things happen isn't it? And the only way we made it though the night was by strapping gas masks on and bolting them to our skulls to avoid the stink of this nauseating mess.

Oh yes we did laugh at the end, but I'm sure one does that a lot when he has lost his sanity...................

I'm pretty sure when I watched this movie, the only way I could get through it was to assure myself that later, after seeing it, a very long shower and an eye scrub would purge my body of the sin that is seeing "Vampires VS Zombies."

Honestly, I'm pretty sure this is the worst movie ever. While watching it, I had to pause every few moments to keep my brain from exploding. The scenes did not at all move together, and it was in no way comprehensible. It seemed that the best the director did was build up to something during every scene, but that "something" was never there.

While some people say for a bad movie that the best part is the end, I would have to disagree for this one. I waited an entire 85 minutes for some sort of rejuvenation from this movie, but was only greeted by a spinning book displaying the words, "THE END." The movie's acting was like something out of a terrible video game's voice acting, and the plot I'm pretty sure didn't exist. I was glad to see that the creators could let themselves go so easily, but this doesn't even go on the list of B-movies.

I suspect that there is a secret companion film to this abomination which consists of all the "other" scenes that would, coupled with many of the scenes in this movie, form a complete porno-film. Have you actually seen a movie that made your head physically hurt? This one did.

I'm sorry, but don't ever, EVER, EVER watch Vampires vs. Zombies. Not even as a way to pass time or laugh at how bad it is. It's nearly impossible to get through.

This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen!!!!

I can honestly say I have never seen a movie worse than this one!!!

AND I MEAN NEVER!!!!

I'm a BIG fan of "B" horror movies. As you may imagine.... I've been exposed to some of worst that the movie industry has to offer.

I was lured to this movie by it's title. I mean c'mon... what true fan of horror wouldn't be intrigued by a title like "Vampires vs. Zombies"??? Images of the "undead" battling each other to the "undeath" danced in my head. I thought to myself... "this I've got to see"!!!!

Well.... sorry to say.... "this I wish I hadn't seen"!!!!!

This movies title is very misleading to say the least. There was no vampires fighting zombies. In fact, there is no plot!!!! If you were to ask me what this movie is all about I could honestly tell you I have no idea!!!

There was no plot!!!!

There was no story!!!!

This movie absolutely makes no sense at all!!!!

At the end of this debacle... I found myself feeling sorry for the poor souls who had invested their money into this project for they surely have no business sense!!!