Deep Rescue

Move over "Battlefield Earth." Heave to, "Waterworld." I think IMDb needs to make a sequel to its own list: Son of the Bottom 100! And the only movie on the list is "Deep Rescue." I generally love the sci-fi action/adventure. It's possible that my appreciation for the genre makes me more critical than I should be, but this is a giant, space shuttle-shaped turd floating in the toilet bowl of film as we know it.

The script seems to be a race to see how many clichés each character can jam in per shot. The acting/directing looks like they all flunked out of the William Shatner School of Dramatic Emphasis. The most shameful mess was how often the story ripped off other considerably more brilliant deep sea crisis flicks, particularly "The Abyss." It was such a flagrant steal that I expected pretty little water aliens to appear when the romantic leads get stuck in a collapsing DSRV. I imagine the creatures would be queued in right after the couple promises to survive for one another and hang on no matter what even though they fought non-stop for the first 100 minutes of the movie just like Bud and Lindsay. But with an obviously limited special effects budget, someone's nephew would have had to draw the little space angels on overhead transparency and wiggle them around behind a fish tank. Maybe they couldn't even afford a 4th grader, particularly if he was working for scale.

I won't say that "Deep Rescue" is as bad as the 2005 rehash of "Pride and Prejudice," because P&P was actually trying to be literary. But this pretty bloody terrible. I'd love to see MST3k revived just for this monstrosity.

This is such a blatant ripoff it is almost laughable. But instead of a 747 and an all-star cast, we get a poorly done space shuttle and really bad actors, screenwriters, etc...

The space shuttle (or any other aircraft, for that matter) would not survive a dunk so deep that a DSRV would be needed. It would crush like a Coors can before 300 ft. Any shallower than that, and the astronauts could just don space suits and swim to the surface. This was a really stupid idea for a movie plot (especially since it had been done before, and a lot better...)

If this flick ever makes it to TV, the best part of it will be the commercials.

One of the worst movies I have seen this year and I have seen many. Riddled with technical errors, a space shuttle ditches beneath the surface of the ocean and the crew must somehow survive and get out.

Shuttle has a submarine depth gage! Do submarines have airplane altimeters? Interior doors all lock one way only. I guess the shuttles are designed this way so crew can lock themselves in for some "private time" from sexual encounters like hiding the salami to just a good old session of pouting and crying.

Love triangle ensues aboard the shuttle. God help us. Too much time spent on social relations in the abyss instead of survival. Can't they find enough astronauts on the program that just wanna fly the mission and leave their love interests on earth? Heroin goes up with long bangs dangling by face, probably got caught in the shuttle's transmission. No wonder they ditch.

This movie was so bad I had to watch the whole thing to see how retarded it could get with this cast of basic nobodies. Take a peek but remember you'll never get that time back in your life. Time not well wasted.