Dark Waters

OK, now I know when I rent "Dark Waters" at blockbuster I can't expect anything good. However, sometimes movies are so bad that they become good again, and thats what I was hopin for. This 92 minute "movie" has gone past being good again, and is just pitiful. The movie has like three sets(which all look like they were made form cardboard boxes), the special effects are not special effects, and to top it off nobody gets naked!! What kind of horror movie is this?! I made better horror movies in seventh grade, and I am not kidding. I've seen many bad movies, from "Cheerleader Massacre" to "You Got Served", and this is by far and away the cream of the worst crop ever harvested.

"We go in on 3, ready... 3,2,1 Go!", is an example of the idiotic dialogue that plagues Dark Waters. Not to mention the scene where our heroes escape and go galavanting around the bridge of a sub on a top-secret mission and manage to convince the officers that they are on a tour. [note: this movie is not a comedy] Dark Waters insults the intelligence of the viewer. What do I know, maybe it IS possible to abandon ship at 5,400 feet. I score Dark Waters a 3, only because the action is plentiful and Simmone Mackinnon is HOT.

I find it difficult to write a review on such an uninspired, unoriginal, unmotivated film. Neither sci-fi, action, horror, comedy, nor anything in between for that fact, it runs through the direct-to-video paces as comfortably as it needs to in order to still be watchable without ever being any good.

Lorenzo Llamas is an oceanic researcher hard up for some funding. Together with his assistant they seduce money out of socialites at (and after) fund raisers. One night the two are drugged and taken to the estate of a man whom might have a job for them. They are to escort him to an underwater researcher station to find out why communications have been lost. Things take a turn for the dangerous when they are set upon by a school of intelligent great white sharks.

The script is bored with plot holes like swiss-cheese. Not to mention script irregularities. Nothing ever seems to flow logically and every event seems to happen at random without regard for plot evolution.

That should be expected from a DtV flick, but the genre hopping comes strait out of left field. It starts out a horror film, becomes a sci-fi, shifts to action, takes a turn for the comedic, goes back to horror, then kind of tosses them all in together for the conclusion. More than once I asked "what kind of movie are they trying to make?"

All is not terrible though, thus the average rating. For one the sets and FX are well above par for a low budget cheese fest like this and the actors (while never given a single intelligent thing to do) are lively and energetic; it seems like they at least had fun making the movie.

One could do much better than this, and one could do much worse; it really isn't for anybody as it fails to either excite or irritate.

5/10

Sci-Fi pulse pounder. An oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico is attacked by bloodthirsty bio-engineered sharks and a team of underwater specialists are summoned to investigate and put a plan into action to combat the out of control beasts. Some pretty bad acting and less than special effects. Attempted humor is lame and the gunfire on board the submarine is unrealistic. Research on using sharks as weapons? What the hell...this IS science fiction after all. The cast includes: Lorenzo Lamas, Bruce Gray, Rodrigo Abed and the sassy knockout Simmone Mackinnon. Not a total waste of time, but close. Of course the Sci-Fi Network is proud of this one.

With the advent of straight to video movies, a whole new genre of 'B' movie seems to be appearing. This is one of them. It can't seem to make up it's mind if it wants to be a horror movie, or a sci-fi movie or an action flick. In all honesty, it fails on all levels for ALL of them. Lorenzo delivers as good a performance as can be, considering the script. He counterpart is fun to look at, but she's only tolerable if you turn the sound down on your TV. The graphics leave a great deal to be desired, especially in a day and age where really, really good graphics are available at a reasonable price from a variety of start up animation companies. The sharks are reminiscent of "Anaconda" (the first one). Remember how bad the snakes were? The sharks are worse. Really. Unless you're desperate, I'd pass on this one. It has it's moments, but for the most part, it's an incredibly uncomfortable experience.