The Paul Lynde Halloween Special

The planets align, the time capsule opens, and out pops Paul Lynde's 1976 Halloween special for ABC, finally released on DVD. Lay off the mind-altering substances if you watch this. This relic is enough of a mind-blower.

Avant-garde in its stupidity, the special features Paul in a variety of skits with a Halloween theme. See Paul trapped in a castle run by witches, played by Margaret Hamilton and Billie Hayes. See Paul as the Rhinestone Trucker, competing with Tim Conway for the affections of Roz Kelly (Pinkie Tuscadero from "Happy Days.") See Paul as the Chic Sheikh, wooing Florence Henderson. See Florence lip-sync her way through "That Old Black Magic," and see Paul bump and grind with Roz Kelly as she warbles "Disco Lady." Also lending a hand — as if that weren't enough — are Donny and Marie, Betty White and Billy Barty.

Of course, this special is best known as KISS' network debut, and they do "Detroit, Rock City," "Beth" and "King of the Nighttime World" on a bizarre stage with orange neon bats and dancers with fluorescent wigs. It would only be a matter of time before the band made "KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park," another surrealistically stupid masterpiece.

The bonus features on the S'More DVD are disappointing, with some unremarkable quotes from Paul's interviews, a collection of archive photos (with barely readable captions), and a "Name that Quip" trivia challenge. An audio interview with "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, however, is remarkably candid.

I can't guarantee you'll laugh – I did, though not always for the right reasons – but you're certain to be astonished. For better or worse, they don't make 'em like this anymore!

If there was some sort of award for the weirdest casting ever for a TV special, surely "The Paul Lynde Halloween Special" would take it! Think about it….Lynde's guests were Margaret Hamilton (of The Wizard of Oz fame), Billie Hayes ('Witchiepoo' from "H.R. Pufnstuf"), Florence Henderson, Billy Barty, Betty White, Donny and Marie Osmond…and KISS!!! It seemed as if some producer simply closed their eyes and picked celebrities out of a hat!! So is this strange mélange any good? Nah… it's pure crap!

I have nothing against the host, Paul Lynde. In his own may, he had a niche—whether as the center square on the American TV show The Hollywood Squares, as the befuddled father in Bye, Bye Birdie or playing the deliberately annoying Uncle Arthur on Bewitched. However, no one would say that he was a man who could do it all. Yet, oddly, here in the special Lynde was given EVERYTHING to do—from comedy, singing, stand-up and playing the great, straight lover. None of them worked very well but the worst was definitely his attempt at stand-up at the beginning of the show. This routine wouldn't have worked even if Jerry Seinfeld or Henny Youngman had delivered it—and having a non-stand-up guy like Lynde deliver it was downright painful—especially since the laugh track was horrid. EVERYTHING he said was unfunny and every line he delivered resulted in loud guffaws from the laugh track! It was a combination of embarrassing and awful at the same time.

There were a few skits as well—all of which were painfully bad. The most difficult to watch had Lynde playing a rhinestone bedazzled trucker who inexplicably was stuck on a trashy waitress and had to battle against Tim Conway and Billy Barty for her love. Seeing him in this jumpsuit was simply amazing…and hard to describe in its awfulness. You just have to see it to believe it!

Did it get any better? Mostly, no, it didn't. There was a lot of singing and Lynde's singing range was very, very limited—and he's clearly out of his range with "Kids" and "Disco Baby"! Florence Henderson, who possessed a nice voice, wasn't much better with "That 'Ol Black Magic" because the song and style just weren't suited to her talents. As for Donnie and Marie, they inexplicably didn't sing(!) and only KISS came off well—and sang some of their best tunes ("Detroit Rock City", "Beth" and "King of the Nighttime World"). In fact, that is why I was generous enough to score this one an F+--their tunes, though inappropriate for this lame show, were definitely the highlights and hold up pretty well today. Even if you hate KISS, I can't see anyone disliking the song "Beth".

Overall, the humor and entertainment in this tacky confection were just dreadful—even by 1970s standards. I would place this in the same category as "The Brady Variety Hour" (once "The Brady Bunch" was canceled the network execs decided to give them a variety show) and "Pink Lady and Jeff" (Pink Lady was a musical duo who didn't speak English) as among the worst of the era. The only worse and more painful excuse of a show I can recall from that same time period was the god- awful "Star Wars Holiday Special". It's all just too weird, disjoint and awful to be believed—and that's why I'd love you to see it! And, if insist on treating yourself to this mess of a show, it is available from Amazon.com.

Finally after many years watched this special from 1976 and I must say "The Paul Lynde Halloween Special" was well written, funny, with wit and well acted as it celebrated the moment of Halloween all while not trying to take things to serious. The late Lynde funny as ever is helped along by his housekeeper(the wonderful and super great Margaret Hamilton) The Wicked Witch of the West who just flies along is a clever and fun spooky way maker for Paul's Halloween dreams to come true with magic. Plus good old country pal Tim Conway gives a fine performance as a country trucker. Also good appearances are given from legends Donny and Marie Osmond and Florence Henderson who lighten the mood with feel good voice sounds of music. To top it off at a party disco the wild guys of the night "Kiss" rock up the party making a hot flame like feeling fun party! Overall well done fun special that's a must see if you like old vintage and classic times of the throwback TV era.

Margaret Hamilton is absolutely spot-on in her reprise of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. That alone is worth enduring this hour -- she's amazing when almost 40 years had passed since that original role.

Otherwise it's campy and sometimes borders on creepy (singing about "Kids"?). And who the heck ever thought putting Kiss on a Paul Lynde show was a good idea?

But if you're a Wizard of Oz fan, then watch it for Margaret Hamilton.

Unfortunately, it did not. This special showed that Paul Lynde was o.k. When taken in small doses; yet this film had too much Paul in one sitting. The show was stilted and contrived. You felt that you were caught up in a seventy's nightmare; perfect for Halloween. Donny and Marie Osmond did not make it into the introduction; they could have been much better presenters than "Kiss." Most of the skits were too contrived to be funny.

I waited through the complete presentation in the hope that the Osmonds would make more than a token appearance. They did not. And "the Kiss soundtrack was washed out or maybe they were washed out in reality. It was fun to see Tim Conway as Dynamite Dan/Long Haul Howard/Seymore as it made me think of "The Carol Burnett Show." The disco scene made me think of "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In" or the disco scene in "Cactus Flower."

Florence Henderson sang "that old Black Magic" while displaying Dracula type fangs; you have to wonder if she grew those fangs for Halloween or if it was a fashion statement.

Anyway, enough reminiscing, the bottom line is I have no idea why other than as a historical documentary that anyone would want to reconstitute this particular Halloween special.